How do you deal with an unruly teenage with anger issues???

Denise - posted on 11/21/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Pushing every envelope, spewing hate, always talking very disrespectful

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Tomeka - posted on 09/29/2012

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I need help with my 15 yr old son too. I am a single parent with two kids 15 and 13 ,(girl) and they fus and fight alot and my son punch walls when he dont get his way my girl is a lil more understanding but get in her moods too. Wht can I do help!!! I love them so much

Jeanne - posted on 11/25/2009

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I am so glad I found this group. My daughter will be 16 in April and will not talk to me or my husband. Friends & family who have raised teenagers say this is typical and at the approximate age of 17 and beyond this "stage" should start to get better. It is very hard to deal with though. She too is also very angry and we try to reach out to her but she can be so nasty. I've suggested she see a counselor, but she refuses. Any help or just words of encouragement would be helpful. Anyone esle going through this? Thanks in advance.

Lynn - posted on 11/13/2013

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Hi,

My son is 16 years old and he has been on a rampage for approximately four years now. In and out of school for suspension, etc. He is truly an amazing young man. He is extremely intelligent and very funny, witty and very popular. However, none of any of that matters to him. He would rather be defiant at every turn. Especially whenever there is any authority around. He loves to show off…gets off on it actually. He loves to be nasty and strange and loud and obnoxious and swears constantly usually when there are others around. He talks to me extremely disrespectfully and his father as well. If we punish him, he sneaks out and does whatever he wants anyway. He has been diagnosed with all the LAME terms that doctors come up with today regarding our children…ADD, ADHD, ODD….

I am a parent that is against medication and drugs of any kind. What should I do?

lynn

Jennifer - posted on 11/14/2013

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I have a son who is 12 and has been diagnosed with every mood disorder out there. Everyone just seems to want to medicate and what they gave him in the past made him a zombie and not his loveable silly self. It has caused him a lot of problems and the best thing I can say is to be a mom but also be a listener and an observer. When kids act out there is usually a reason. Something we may not see whether at school, with their friends, or just something in the environment around them. Sometimes it isn't always their fault for acting out, it's a natural response much like a defense mechanism. You have to actually look at every angle because you never know what is really going on in their mind.

Nicole - posted on 03/08/2014

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My 15 year old son threatens everyone in the home when he don't get what he wants.Just tonight I was called a stupid bitch and was told to go to hell for asking him to grab the clothes from dryer. In a fit of rage he ousted my laundry basket. He's 5 inches taller then me and about 250 pounds. I called police and they did nothing. I've tried everything. What should I do now
I had an officer once tell me to give him meds till he turned 18. I just can't believe how they think pills are supposed to cure this. I call bullshit. I'm a single mom of three working 60 hours a week. I don't deserve this

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Jessica - posted on 09/29/2012

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My 16 year old son doesn't exactly have anger issues. He just rebels against everyone and make a lot of bad decisions. I found that sending him away to boarding school didn't help at all. He doesn't come home during holidays and who knows what he's doing over there. Best bet would be to ask the counselor at school or maybe enroll your child in a anger management class.

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My eldest is 16 now (17 in March), he's a big kid ... about 6'1" and almost 200 lbs, whereas I am much smaller than he. Around 15 or so, he started getting very threatening with me, thinking he was bigger than I was, getting in my face, telling me to f off, acting as if he didn't have to obey my rules and such. He, of course, wouldn't exhibit this kind of behavior when my husband was home, for he would've probably not made it to age 16 lol.
After he turned 16, he started to get violent ... not with me or his siblings, but by punching, throwing and breaking things ... getting so frustrated and angry that he'd end up in tears, not knowing how to control himself. After all the ruckus would end, he and I would sit down and talk and he would tell me how out of control he felt when he would get angry and not get his way. I told him I understood that being a teenager is a very difficult period in life. They have alot of mixed emotions and no tools with which to deal with them. We did visit a Psychiatrist's office and spoke to a Physician's Assistant just once, and of course they're first reaction was to offer him medication, which I was silently against ... I let him make the decision, he thankfully chose not to take anything. I think though, that visit and our many talks before and after opened his eyes and let him see that there wasn't anything wrong with him, and what he was going through was something that he would eventually grow out of, and that he can come to me with anything he may be feeling at the time (without blowing up) and we can find a way to resolve it.
Maybe I am lucky in the sense that he picked up on his problem quickly and easily, and I realize others aren't so lucky.
I guess what I'm saying is that communication is key to having a healthy child ... mind, body and spirit. Make time for them to talk about themselves and what they may be going through, without being judgemental or shoving how YOU think they should handle things down their throats. Remember, they may have come from you, but they are NOT you, they are their own person with their own valid feelings. They have the right to those feelings, but they don't have the right to hurt others emotionally or physically, let it known that abuse will not be tolerated, nor will it solve anything. Lead by example. When you're in a situation of anger with your child, walk away until all is at least semi-calm .. then TALK. Talk, but most of all LISTEN. Even when they're not talking ... you can still hear them.
Good luck and God Bless.

Marilyn - posted on 11/23/2009

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I took my daughter to speak to someone and she was diagnosed with an anger disorder called "iad" or intermitant anger disorder. She was enrolled in an intensive therapy program including personal one on one therapry and group therapy which teaches anger managment and helps them to find out outlets for their anger. It is so hard to deal with and can put a strain on the entire family. Hang in there.

Natasha - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have a 15 year old son and he doesn't have anger issuse but I work with children that do. The anger didn't happen over night so it is not going to get solved over night. You have to get to the bottom of the issue. Kids struggle with getting mixed messages. We, as parents, need to say what we mean. NO exceptions and NO changing your mind. Pick your battles and be strong! Good Luck!

Denise - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have had these problems also. Take her to someone who she can talk to about dealing with her anger issues. Just keep on trying to talk to her also. Let her know that no matter what you won't give up on her. She is angry for reason. You have to find out what that is. Try not only being her Mom but being her friend as well. Let her know she can confide in you about anything. Whatever she tells you don't judge her and don't throw it back in her face after the fact. Help her to deal with whatever her issues are and move on.

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