How do you deal with the negative surly attitude of a 14 year old teenage boy?

Beth - posted on 11/01/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son thinks everything is stupid. He rolls his eyes when asked to do something and gives me a tone in his voice when I talk to him.

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Amy - posted on 11/17/2009

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My son started to get rude and disrespectful at age 12 and he has put me thru alot with the court system now I am going to Love and Logic classes and they have helped alot....It teaches empathy first then conciquence( and that if the problem is yours..fix it and if it's your child's make it there responsiblity) I catch myself saying "I love you to much to fight with you, don't worry i'll take care of it." then I do take care of it but not how he would expect me too or want me to but now when I say that"i love you to ect..." he takes care of the problem. but when a problem of HIS does come up I say I'm sorry to hear that, how are you gonna take care of that?.. who would have thought empathy would have worked but thankfully it does.

Debbie - posted on 11/13/2009

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My son is 17 now. He was like that and I didn't recognize him. Now he is starting to come back to the boy that I knew. He is more respectful and will talk more. I believe that he still has a little way to go but hang in there, it does get better. With the Lord's help, he will become the man you hope him to be.

Kimberly - posted on 11/13/2009

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I went thru the same thing last yr w/ my son. About this age boys's hormones change as their bodies are going thru puberty. They eveen become angry for no apparent reason. They are struggling with their identity & finding the niche in the world. Be patient w/ him but let him know you won't tolerate his attitude either. Talk to him. Boys have a hard time talking about certain subjects with moms. It's especially hard for them at this age if you're a single mom. Like w/ my son I've come to notice that he has his own time of wanting to talk & it's usually late at nite when he'll come to my room. He doesn't say much at first so I have to open up the conversation. Keep it calm and ask him questions. You'll find you have to be careful how you word things too. This is the time when they want their privacy as well. That makes a big difference. My son doesn't even like me to come in his room to collect the laundry. So I le him know when laaundry daay is and he brings his clothes out. They're not always hiding something in their rooms, they just need their space. Most boys grow out of this phase. I was lucky it only lasted about 9 months. Be his friend yet still be the parent. Good luck!

Kimberly

Mary Jo - posted on 11/01/2009

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is his voice still cracking? It's a difficult age ... be interested in his interests and off handley question him about them ... most of all ... it's time for privacy, respect his... that will get you farthest and let him know your giving him the privacy : )

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Stefanie - posted on 11/15/2009

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My son started this at 12 and is 15 now!!! My step son started at 12 and is 17 and growing out of it Thank god!!! I think they just need Boundaries reinforced!!! You have really good advice on here I was reading because I am going through the same thing right now! If you need a shoulder to cry on or to vent I am here girl!!!! : )

Dannielle - posted on 11/15/2009

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My son does that to me and I find it disrespectful. I do not tolerate it at all, I started taking things away from him like his Playstation, guitar, the cable in his room, and his stereo. He will get it back when I feel that he can respect me.

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pick your battles that is what I am learning to do with my 14 year old son. Also mine responds better to my fiance than to me as far a discipline issues go right now. I have been a single parent until the last year.

Bonnie - posted on 11/12/2009

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It's pretty normal behaviour at that age, most of the time you can ignore it, but if he gets to huffy then take something away that he can't do without until his attitude changes....remember, your'e the boss!!

Toshualla - posted on 11/07/2009

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oh no mam,no one can raise there voice in my house but me.they dont pay bills and everything they need they get.

Michelle - posted on 11/07/2009

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Sometimes they just need space and remember not every action deserves a reaction sometimes it just reinforces their negative behavior.

Connie - posted on 11/07/2009

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Thanks, i am backing off more. I think it is hard watching them change so much in front of your eyes.

Connie - posted on 11/01/2009

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My son is also 14. He has just now started getting disrespectful with me when he doesnt get to do what he wants. He also rolls his eyes when asked something. or he just says i dont know. He has a girlfriend now and he doesnt talk much to us.

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