How do you get a 16 year old boy to do his homework?

Lisa - posted on 05/06/2010 ( 48 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 year old son who according to all the testing the school and I have had done is extremely intellegent, aces tests, and seems be able to remember just about anything he hears, he was however diagnosed as ADD when he was in the 3rd grade. It seems though with his 504 in place that this kid should be making As and Bs (I would be happy with Cs) but he in reality he is flunking almost all his classes....because he will not do his homework. I have tried taking things away (this kid hasn't seen his video games in years), paying him for completed assignments (he has never collected), and have even at a point of weakness spanked his tush (that only got me three days of completed assignments... but it just doesn't seem the right thing to do). If anyone has anything they have tried that worked I would really appreciate the input...

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Angie - posted on 05/10/2010

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You can't make him care about school - he has to do that on his own. I also have a bright son who HATES school. We made take a summer to volunteer at a national park. He washed cars, stained wood, dug ditches, and anything else yucky they could think of. The result: he knows he needs to get an education if he wants a job that isn't so manual. Since he's lazy, that's the last thing he wants! His grades still aren't as good as they could be but they're good enough to get him into college and gets a few scholarships too.

Heather - posted on 09/20/2012

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My child is 5'9'' tall and very physically fit. I am 58 years old and although a former karate instructor, not a fit match for my hyper hormoned daughter. I have had to have doors replaced, ($200 each), knee problems from being forced down, etc...One minute she is okay and then when I restrict her, she becomes this she devil. I love this kid but have a hard time understanding how she came from my womb.

Lisa - posted on 05/15/2010

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Lisa,
I have an 18 year old son who is also extremely intelligent according to tests, but very scattered. He does his homework immediately (mostly at school) but forgets to hand it in, so I feel your pain!
Punishing isn't going to get your son motivated. Since he has ADD and is on a 504, the school needs to help you figure out how to get him organized enough to hand assignments in.
My daughter has ADD and was on an IEP, at one point we had a homework forlder. Any and all assignments went in this folder. The teachers checked and signed it everyday, so homework was handed in. She also had a "buddy", someone who would quietly remind her to write down the assignments and to hand them in, so the teacher didn;t have to draw attention to it.
When a child has ADD they need to learn tools to help them cope, not be punished for something they are having a hard time figuring out. Talk to his case worker. If the school isn;t following the 504, put him on an IEP. This is a FEDERALLY mandated contract, if the school doesn't follow it, you can sue them. Document when the school doesn't cooperate, bring it to the superintentant of schools attention, the head of the school board, etc. He doesn';t have a whole lot of time to figure this out until he's out of high school.
Keep him on a schedule, home, snack, homework, unwind, dinner, homework review...children with ADD need structure.
Good luck.

Felicia - posted on 05/21/2010

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sit w/ him and break his homework out into assignments. remove all piles, except what he needs to focus on at the moment. Set him up in a quiet room (we use our dining room) that is free and clear from clutter and noise & find a time that works. Also make sure he has the supplies he needs within reach (we use bins). stick w/ that time and place. My son always needs at least an hour after school b4 he can focus once again. He also can't work on homewrk too late in the evening for his brain has turned off for the day. I have a child w/ SPD and he gets easily overwhelmed w/ the "amount" vs. the actual assignment--once we get thru the above process . So take it slowly and focus on time mgmt techniques for "each" assignment. hope that helps!

[deleted account]

I too have a situation like yours and this is how we eventually got the results we were after.
I have a younger child who is a straight A student and every time he came home with an award from school, he would get a prize! at the end of the year when he got a 3.95 gpa he got a nintendo DSI. the older boy got nothing. I didn't take anything away and i didn't punish him because as you all know, that doesn't work. But seeing his brother being rewarded so well for his grades really worked. I also refused to pay for any drivers ed until he got his grades up. His grades went up.
He now knows that unless he does well next year I will not put any money towards a car for him. It really has worked.
Give it a go and then please let me know if it has worked for you.
All the very best

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Dawn - posted on 04/13/2013

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I have a 16 year old daughter who has ADD also and DOES NOT do her homework. I have tried EVERYTHING! I can take away her music, her phone, computer. Nothing works. She lies about handing it in. She rarely hands ANY homework in whether she has done it or not! I am at wits end. I know Alternative School is always there. (NO HOMEWORK) But also no entry into college through traditional methods either.

Amy - posted on 11/21/2012

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My 16 y/o son is ADHD among other things and we had the same problem, my son was failing 6 out of 8 classes and has an IEP and IEP case manager, he was still failing, mostly because he would not do homework. Our solution was sending him to an Alternative High School, he has been there a week and after the meeting with his Advisor/IEP case manager we found out that as long as he passes his classes he will most likely graduate a year early and the best part, NO HOMEWORK, which makes him happy and us less stressed.

Heather - posted on 09/20/2012

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gOD, HOW MANY OF US ARE INTHE SAME BOAT? i AM AN INFORMAL EDUCATOR AND WHY IS IT THAT THE KIDS HATE THE WORK SO MUCH? mAYBE IT IS THE WAy the work is presented. We all have BS Ms Phd's and then are ending up out in the field. There is something very wrong with the educational system if so many of our kids who appear to be bright are struggling within this system. I'm 58 and worn out. I have one GT in college an one GT in high school and I want a break, too. GT parents have gt kids and tose kids with disabilities are not getting what they need even with an IEP or 504 that we struggled for. The educational system is a one size fits all society and they do th best they can for the majority. Unfortunately, I have given my life to Ontessori and parochial schools to help my kids have a bette education. I don't see where ther ei senough are for our kids in today's society. Bad keyboard not stupid mom.

Ceu - posted on 05/20/2010

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My son is 15 and is a gifted boy. He hated school but studied there for ten years. Those years were very difficult because he never felt good at school. I read and got informed and now I understand that (at least in Portugal) school is specially made for girls personality. I gave ny son rewards when he behaved well - I know now that punishments don´t really work - and he had excellents tests. But last year I noticed he was suffering a lot. So I decided to release him! I know in England that is not possible (and it´s a pity) but here in Portugal there is home school for those students who don´t feel good at school. Now he is happy, now he feels free, now he sudies wih pleasure!!! And I´m much happier too.

Lisa - posted on 05/20/2010

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That is kind of where I am at right now.... but the "fixer" in me wants to fix it.

Mary - posted on 05/20/2010

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Boy can I ever relate to your problem. I have been down this road with both of my daughters. My oldest, now 24 barely graduated. She started community college at 18 and just stopped going, not getting money back for classes paid. She wasted 6 years doing nothing. She got pregnant, married at age 22. Her husband left them a year later. She is now enrolled at a private college and was on the deans list last quarter. She seriously regrets her past behavior. I asked her if there was anything that I could have done in the past that would have made a difference. She said no because she didnt care at the time. She told me that she was depressed and just did not care about school. It took having to provide for her daughter to wake her up. Now my 16 yr old daughter is at the end of her sophmore yr and she is failing math and english. Same reason as your sons. She doesnt do most of her homework. My older daughter tries to reason with her. Tells her to look at what shes going through as an example. Doesnt matter. She tells us that she will never be in those shoes because "she doesnt plan to have kids".In her 16 yr old mind thats all that matters. She admitted to me that she is a procrastinator. She admitted that she doesnt always feel like doing her work. She has not yet taken drivers training yet because of this attitude. Nothing has changed. I have given up. I told her that she will just have to go to summer school then. I hope that will do it but utimately it is up to her. There is nothing that you can do that will make a difference if he doesnt care. You can not make someone care. Unfortunatley some life lessons are learned the hard way.

Lisa - posted on 05/19/2010

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Maybe it's time to have him re-evaluated. But find someone who really cares to test him. Alot of doc's just give labels and meds. They need to find the root of the problem. Allergies mimic ADD- good book to read Is This My Child by Doris Rapp. Had my son tested when he was little because the teachers were saying he was ADD. Turned out he allergies to 13 things and those changed with the weather and location. Also because of birthday he had to go to preschool two years before kindergarten so he was bored to death. Got his allergies under control and he was a completely different child. The doctor was great. He was titled Allergy, Immunolgy and Behavior specialist.Best money I ever spent.

Kellie - posted on 05/19/2010

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Diligence and consistency on your part WILL pay off...hang in there...I held my sons hand (metaphorically) from the 4th grade thru to his Freshman year and one day his dad walked in and said..."Are you going to college with him too!?" I was very offended and hurt at his remark, and in front of my son to boot!!! Although after cooling off I realized he was right and had a little talk with my son. I simply told him that I felt like his dad was right in that he was old enough to take more responsibility for his own actions and I felt like we had done enough to teach him how to handle school work on his own. Now I was absolutely terrified as I walked away and cried in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Do you know my son has 3A's and 2B's...all on his own!!! We are at the end of his Freshman year now and he has spent the entire year on the A-B honor roll. I'm not sure if it was the fear of failing that got him fired up and working or just the initial independence that he got from me backing off but whatever the case it worked. Trust him and your past parenting skills and let him take some ownership in his own future. Success has always been a spring board for my ADDer. Good Luck and I'll keep you in my prayers!!! ;o)

MARY - posted on 05/19/2010

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MY SON IS THE SAME WAY, ALL I GET OUT OF HIM IS MOM I GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I HAVE TO NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO AND AS FAR AS THE WORK... I DO THE CLASS WORK BUT HOMEWORK IS DUMB AND REFUSES TO DO IT, I HAVE DONE THE BRIBES, THE TAKEN AWAY OF "ITEMS" SPANK, TIME OUT, NO FRIENDS, THINGS THAT YOU WOULD THINK MOST BOYS CARED ABOUT, NOTHING... SO NOW I JUST TELL HIM IF YOU DONT CARE THEN FINE I DONT CARE BUT WHEN THE SCHOOL CALLS ME THEN YOU (SON) WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS. HE WILL BE 17 IN JUNE AND TO THIS DAY STILL HAS THE I DONT CARE ATTITUDE...

Lisa - posted on 05/19/2010

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Wish that were the case. When I tried to use the Driving as motivator... he just decided he didn't want to drive. He just doesn't seem to care enough about anything enough for me to use. I have decided (of course the school may give me grief on this) that any homework intensive classes that he may need to take will be done in the summer. In the summer school environment he seems to do well since it is fast paced and the work is done in class and is due the same day. The pace seems to make a big difference.

Lisa - posted on 05/19/2010

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What does he have to say for his not doing home work? At his age he is most likely thinking about driving, bad grades=no license. That is my choice. If the grades go down no driving privelege's. Good grades also save a few hundred a year on insurance. My 16 year old has to pay his own insurance, since he doesn't put forth the effort for better grades. IF he got better grades I would pay it for him. I know that sounds harsh but what happens at age 17 when they can drop out of school without your approval??

Mindy - posted on 05/19/2010

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I think i may have said this before ... If your child is having problems in school even if its the same problem do not assume they are lazy . If the school tells you "nothing is wrong w/ them" do not assume the school know's best, do not assume the school has your childs best interest at heart. Are there some kids out there who are lazy ? Sure . But there are also kids out there that are having problems and act out , shut down because its easier, less embarrassing than asking for help. My oldest son's old school told me for 5 yrs he had ADD. they suggested in one meeting 27 times i medicate him, they even suggested I medicate him to " rule ADD out " ( which by the way is against the law ) They called him lazy, unmotivated, told me he would never read at grade level and basically would never amount to much because he had not motivation !
After MANY MANY months of fighting they finally tested him for everything from Autism spectrum disorder to you name it and he was dyslexic ! We changed districts and in less than 2 years my son was reading at grade level , now receives minimal services through special ed. and is about to graduate next year. He struggles yes, but he is doing it. My pts are this:
1. Do not assume any child is just lazy , you HAVE to look into it .
2. Schools do NOT always want what is best for your child. testing takes money , they dont want to spend it .
3. If you do not know what to do call an advocacy group , go to your pedi and request testing, it cant hurt.
4. Your childs teachers can not tell you your child has ANYTHING wrong with them, they cant tell you " Your kid might have ADD" they are not qualified to do that. its against the law. they can tell you " I think something is going on w/ them you might want to look into getting them tested " But they can NOT EVER tell you specifically what they THINK is wrong , because its just that , they are GUESSING !
5. email your childs teachers, ask them what they are doing in class, what assignments are they not doing . Why . etc. I email my son's teachers weekly and have since Jr high . Note I said EMAIL do not call any teacher, get what they say in writing you may need it later !
Sorry i am very passionate about this after what we have gone through. In my experience talking to other parents 90% of the time the "laziness" means something !

Mindy

Lindsey - posted on 05/19/2010

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my son was the same- no amount of talking did any good- he was just made that way. he is now 22 and only just getting his act together- he now realises he should have worked then and is now paying the price having to start at the bottom.some people just dont want to listen and will have to learn the hard way

Mindy - posted on 05/18/2010

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One other thing i would like to say is this. If your child is doing more than 10 minutes of homework per grade level ( meaning if they are in 3rd grade they should do no more than 30 minutes of home work , it should not take them LONGER than 30 min to do the work ) its TOO MUCH and you should put a stop to it . espically if they are ADD , Dyslexic or have some other form of LD . This was something my son's special ed facilitator told us very early on . Nothing is being accomplished by making a child sit there for hours trying to do home work , your fighting them , they are fighting you . So if its taking longer than that you need to go to the teachers and say Look " He WILL NOT do more than this , you need to grade him on what he finishes PERIOD " 99% of the time they give you no fight on it "

Mindy - posted on 05/18/2010

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Very Well Said. My son is still a child . He still does the things you mentioned. His self esteem is very low . He's a bright , handsome, very athletic child. But nothing he does is ever good enough . He is harder on himself than I could ever dream of being .

Sherrie - posted on 05/18/2010

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it's just adolence my sons phycrisit says and leave him alone let him do his own work which I don't agree with but if you find something that works please share it with me at sharebear1994@hotmail.com

Pam - posted on 05/18/2010

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oh my goodness when I read this I was so happy to hear that we are not alone. My 16 year old son is going through the same thing. He was diagnosed with SI (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) in the 4th grade. He to aces test and is very intelligent however we CAN NOT get him to get his homework done which in turn has caused him to flunk some classes. I follow his homework assignments on the school web site and have been to teacher conferences to see what we can do. We have taken many things away and it doesn't seem to bother him. I am anxious to see what others have to say

Shannon - posted on 05/18/2010

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I also have a 17 year old but not ADD. Being a nurse I understand there is a mental component to the difference. That aside most 17 year old boys don't do homework. Mine rarely ever has any and pulls mostly C's. If he actually brought his homework home..he might get better grades. The only motivator with him is the car. My rule for my children is that you have to have a C or better on your report card to be able to take driver's education. IF after you have your license and bring home anything below a C, you lose all privelages of the car until the grade is up. Right now he was struggling a bit in one of his classes and has summer comming up. I reminded him that if the grade didn't come up, the car was gone all summer. It is up to a C again. I don't believe that all ADD kids need to be medicated, but hopefully you find something that helps him focus. I have read a few posts that talk about self esteem and his homework getting done...KUDOS!! That is a great way to go!!

Melissa - posted on 05/18/2010

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We have also had this problem, it started when our son was in fourth grade. We eventually got tired of taking away everything and screaming and yelling, and decided that he was going to have to learn for himself. He is now in 10th grade and making out his schedule for 11th, he is not able to take all the fun classes he wanted because he has to make up the ones he flunked, (because of not doing his homework.) We did notice a change in his grades though, after he filled out next years schedule, he is now getting A's and B's. Sometimes they just need to realize how they are hurting themselves!!!

Fran - posted on 05/17/2010

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I feel much better seeing there are others out there with similar problems My son is 14 and extremely bright. Doesn't do most of his homework and doesn't study for tests. He has failing grades at progress report time, but after I sit next to him to make him do his work, he manages to get b's. I am taking him to a phycologist, but we've just started. I still can't figure him out.

Mary - posted on 05/16/2010

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Have you looked into a program for gifted and talented students? It is not unusual for some TAG students to do poorly in school because they are bored and don't want to do the work when they already understand the material. He may very well need more intellectual stimulation, something that really challenges him, in order to do well.

Rose - posted on 05/16/2010

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I have the same problem but i noticed that if my son sleep well his mood changed a lot ..And if he doesn't sleep enough , he refuses to do any homeworks.

Lesley Jane - posted on 05/16/2010

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I have tried a combonation of all of the above suggestions with little or no improvement!Our son has dyslexia and once thought to have had ADHA.He is now just finished his 2nd year of a 4yr apprenticeship in 'Heavy Haughlage Mechanics' and is passing with 'credit/distinction.He is 20yrs.The task of learning is extreamly tiring and requires considerably more effort than you or I would need to complete the same task.These kids are very quickly 'running on empty',causing fatigue and frustration.They themselves do not want to be treated any differently from their piers,but they are unable to learn in the same way as their mate's.They tend to have low self esteam and are frustrated with themselves for 'not being able to do' what comes easily their friends.In amongst these issues you also have perfectly normal hormonal teenagers!Who,leave their rooms untidy,talk back,fight with their brothers and sisters and throw a tantrum just because you asked what their plans are for the day.It is important that we don't lose the 'child' in 'the problem.

Melanie - posted on 05/13/2010

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my son has adhd and will be turning 17 on may 21st. he has this same problem on occasion. now i started off taking things away. but i have learned ( at least with my son) you gotta go big or stay home. on his last report card he was passing everything a majority of which were A's. but now he has a 47, 36, and 17 on his progress report. the last time this happened i took it all way. no phone, no ipod, no tv, no computer, no xbox, no wii, no outside time, no company over, and on top of that when his homework is done each day i pile on the chores. making dinner, cleaning up after, switching laundry, vaccuuming, helping younger kids with homework, fetching things. all at the same time. til i get a passing report card. which also means if you fail. none of this over the summer. he'll go straight back and forth to work. etc..... i know it seems harsh but its working for mine. its the only thing that ever did work since he was a little guy. hes a good kid and rarely gets in trouble but if he is its for this and this is the only way to fix it for him. hope that helps.

Elda - posted on 05/13/2010

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My son was diagnosed ADD at the end of 2nd Grade. Was perscribed Addorol, then changed to Focolin, because of his decrease in appetite and eventually Vyvance. Well he's was a Freshman this year, 6'1 and growing muscles everywhere. He REFUSED to take anymore medication. He is now barely passing and flunking math. He know he has focusing problems - but to continue to medicate my child, when in his words he "FEELS NOTHING" when he's on it, is just plain wrong. I know education is very important. So is creativity and indivudualism. He is witty, funny and a pleasure to be with when not a ticked out skinny zombie. He may not be 1st in his class, but he's going places in life, because we accept, love and support him just as he is.

Jenn - posted on 05/12/2010

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I have been struggling also with my 13 year old son. The first 2 quarters he was on the National Honor Society, elected to student office, and played sports. He is still upbeat and has a great time with his frineds but is now averaging a 1.9 gpa. I have talked with his teachers, counselor, and him to no degree. All his teachers tell me he is great in class, funny, bright and doesn;t cause problems. I am so frustrated! I have nothing left to take away from him, games, laptop, phone, friends, even his bedroom door...still nothing. I drive him to school, we chat along the way about what he will accomplish, then he gets home and NOTHING! He was tested as gifted and I know he is bored in class, but he still has to do his work. When he takes a test, he gets an A, but then does none of his homework. I am going to set up an appointment with an outside counselor to make sure nothing else is going on but in the mean time...AAAARRRGGG!

Rana - posted on 05/12/2010

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Well, this works for mine so maybe it will work for you. I told my son (since he is now driving age) that if he did not bring home grades at the level of a c or above then there would be no permit or liscense for him in the near future. This seems to be the only thing that he responds to. He wants to drive so badly so that he can have his freedom and without the grades there is no extra freedom.

Denise - posted on 05/12/2010

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Just wondering why he has so much homework. I let it be known very early that we did not approve of homework and that only the occasional assignment or work that was started in class and not completed due to child not doing it, were acceptable for homework. We are on child number 4 and other than the odd teacher, we have had little problem with this. To me this is a work/life balance issue and schools should not be sending home any large amounts of homework. My kids have been assessed on the work they do in school, tests and some assignments.

Mindy - posted on 05/12/2010

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My son's problem is not homework is class work most of the time. He struggles w/ the class work and instead of asking for help in front of the class ( which is hard for him to do because the last district he was in humiliated him ) he would rather not do it and come in before class or after class . I have helped other parents deal w/ their kids when it comes w/ the dyslexia and most of the time ( not all ) If they are not doing their work there is usually a reason behind it. They don't do it because they dont understand, its too hard . However boys , especially for what ever reason have a hard time communicating that .

Patyc - posted on 05/12/2010

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When did he started to fall behind homework? I have three teenagers boys, never had any trouble with grades, but now my fourth child since K he has hidden work, lyng about homework, cheating, signing papers with my name,hidding books you name it! I arranged a Dr apponinment to a pscologist, I want to resolve this before he starts middle school.

Alice - posted on 05/12/2010

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Our son also has some difficulty turning in his work. We actually hired tutors to ensure that the work was completed. It helped, but it's an expensive way to go. The reality is, he may not be interested in what's being taught at school. How is he spending his time? He may actually be learning more on his own. Most homework assignments are mundane. Talk to his teachers and see if they will waive the homework and just grade him strictly on his test results.

Mindy - posted on 05/12/2010

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My 17 year old is Dyslexic . Since he was a Freshman he has always had a bad habit of failing his classes right before progress reports come out then busts his butt to pass his classes , he does the same thing right before report cards. He always gets high B's or C's . Granted he has to work harder for those c's than most . But he gets decent grades. Instead of doing his work when he's suppose to he would rather go in every morning and after school and get help. He's in football and other sports so he has to pass or he cant play . I think i finally i figured it out this year though. I think he likes to go in early or late because he gets the one on one attention , he gets more help w/ less people . He might feel less intimidated .
When was the last time your son had an evaluation ? Maybe something else might be going on w/ him learning disablity wise. Honestly if they told you he had ADD in 3rd grade , unless you had a reevaluation since then re confirming that I would be REALLY skeptical. My son's old school told me for 5 yrs he had ADD when I had 3 docs tell me he did not . Turns out he was dyslexic . ADD mimics LOTS of learning disabilities. Children can act out in ways like not doing their home work , acting up in class etc because they would rather do that than feel " stupid" by asking for help . Just some thoughts .

Susanne - posted on 05/11/2010

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I have a 16 year old and he has tried the same thing with me. I do care about his education, so with what I about to say, just remember that.

I have found that sometimes when they find out that it bothers the parents, they do that on purpose just to get attention. My son did it for a little while and then I told him that if he didn't do his homework, that was his problem. At that age they think that they can make thier own decisions so why not let them with homework. He now does his homework because he has found out that he can not get me anxous or excited over homework. He has come in contact with some people that have said that if they didn't have their gr12 they wouldn't be able to have the job that they have.

At age 16 they think that the parents don't know that much anyway, so I don't think that you will be able to do anything to make them do their homework if they dont want to, unless you take total control of their life. But in the end it will just push your child away. You need to let them have control of some of their life. They are young men and will come around if you give them some slack.

Not everyone is made to sit for hours and do paperwork. Get them something that they like doing physicaly and when they get to the point where they have accomplished something, their self esteem will be boosted and they might be willing to do school work.

I have a brother that quit school at age 16 and couldn't read past the gr 2 level. He got a job and started to get realy interested in reading things and is now getting to where he would enjoy school and would probably pass the gr 12 equivelency test with little studying and is 20. Before he quit school he was so frusterated and hated school so much that he was getting into trouble. As soon as he had some accomplishment at work he settled down and is now a well behaved young man and is getting married this summer.

Rochelle - posted on 05/11/2010

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WOW, this is insane. It must be a something with the male children. I have a 14 yr. old son who will do just enough to get by. He was tested in Algebra 1 thru a club like Sylvan Learning Center and came out scoring at a 12th grade lever. Impressive right? He got an F in the dang class. Talk about disgusted...I don't know where or what to do from here. The video games have been taken, the phone he still has because of my schedule and needing to locate him. Nothing seems to get thru to him. I told him he was going to pack his stuff and go live with his dad. He can't stand him but maybe that's what he needs!

Naomi - posted on 05/11/2010

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Yes, i've tried making deals or rewards but they don't work. He gets motivated for a day or two then he reverts back to not caring about his homework. If I remind him about the deal/reward, then I'm nagging him. I'm thinking of having him do volunteer work during the weekends, so that he can see how fortunate he is to have a loving home and friends. I'm also searching for an older teen that can "mentor" him with the hopes he'll listen to them.

Matilda - posted on 05/11/2010

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Have you tried to make a deal with him by promising him something that motivates him that he should always look forward too if accomplishes his home work.

This has worked with me. I was trade good grades with a small bribe say - a sleep ova at his friends house at Easter

Naomi - posted on 05/11/2010

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I have a 16 year old son that doesn't want to do his homework either. Therefore he is flunking half of his classes. The only classes that he's passing are the ones that do the homework in class. I'm taking time off from work today to try to talk to his school counselor for help. I've already taken away texting, his video games and trying to get his girlfriend's mom to cooperate with me (limit their time together). He doesn't have his driver's permit either. I'm frustrated as I don't know what to do to convince him he's jeopardizing his future.

Kim Lee - posted on 05/11/2010

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Kids need to know that you will not compromise when it comes to school. If my daughters results aren't want I think it should be, I take away that which she loves: cell phone, friends, tv etc. She gets them back when her test results start to improve. That takes a few months and she hates it.

Elaine - posted on 05/10/2010

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My son is the same...14 and passed all of his classes for the first time in a year. We tell hime he will lose his xbox or phone when he fails his classes. This has helped us a lot this year. We will see in a few weeks

Lisa - posted on 05/06/2010

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Actually the School is involve... at least as far as they are willing. Thanks to the ADD he has been given some accomadations.... things like extra time on homework (which doesn't work if he just won't do it), he gets to use a tape recorder (which he forgets), and the teachers are suppose to contact me to give me heads up about major projects (which they don't). As for the web, the school district has on-line grade books that most of the teachers post to.... thing is by the time it shows up as missing in the gradebook he has already missed the deadline to complete it. I should mention that some of the teachers have turned some his homework into class work which worked a little except in Chemistry. I am begining to think that anything that is paperwork intensive more the problem than homework is.

I am just so frustrated.... you know I actually offered him $100 if he would go just one 6-weeks without a missing assignment. It's been 2 since the offer and still no luck.

Gloryanne - posted on 05/06/2010

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You are not alone!!! My son did not graduate on time (he had to take summer school) because of his homework grades. My son, also, is very smart and was accepted to one the the best engineering schools in the East Coast - he blew it because of homework. UUUGGGHHHH!!!
You need to get the administration at the school involved - a lot of times there is commuication via the web for homework assignments, but parents don't know about it. You need to get this under control so he can self manage his homwork.

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