How do you get over the scary feeling you have when your 16 year old gets there drivers lic and starts driving ALONE??

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Cheryl - posted on 03/06/2009

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How do you get over the scary feeling? The same way your young adult learns to drive the car.... Practice. My daughter has her cell and is learning to call me when she gets to wherever she's going and calls again when she's ready to leave. She drives a fair bit with me, but to be honest? I get really nervous when the roads are slick with ice. Then, either we don't go or I drive. She's okay with that, too. She's not looking forward to tackling that obstacle just yet. When she has more confidence in her emergency driving skills, she'll try. I've been working with her on skid control and such. She's managed most of it, but she still overcorrects sometimes. I think we all did when we were starting out.



 



*lol* She's more worried about getting into an accident when she has passengers than if she's alone, which doesn't help me any.

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My sixteen year old son just got his license February 21st (ha - "a day that will live in infamy!").  He got his permit at 15 1/2, has been driving with me or his dad for more than six months, has taken driver's ed, been through the eight hours of in-car instruction and passed the final test with no trouble.  He's comfortable and confident behind the wheel, but it's still hard to watch him drive off - harder still when our thirteen year old daughter is with him.  But I know he takes the responsiblity seriously and will do everything he can to be safe.  I don't dwell on the things that could happen which are out of his control or I'd go crazy.



Like other mothers who've already responded, my son calls when he reaches his destination.  Ohio, too, limits teen driving:  only one non-family member passenger until he's seventeen.



I also have to admit to using some mom guilt on my son.  In all the discussion leading up to his drivers test, I told him several times to think of what it would do to me if something happened to him as a result of him having done something stupid while driving.  Guilt works, and I pull it out when I really think I need it  (:o)

Sami - posted on 03/04/2009

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I have 18 yr old twin girls that share a car for right now....I did the home taught driver's ed for them so I am confident in how they will be on the road because they had to learn to drive with me in the car...we played music, we laughed, we talked, and even had a friend of theirs come with us a couple of times, just to see what it would be like with distractions! Made me feel much better actually seeing their reactions and being able to answer questions right then! Good luck!

Tamara - posted on 02/23/2009

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I'll let you know when I do! I find myself praying a lot. My children still call me when they get to their destination and before they leave. My son is away at college and takes his Fall and Spring breaks driving with a group of other college kids to do missionary work in Mississippi. I'm telling you, I pray a lot!

Laura - posted on 02/23/2009

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Well It turns out I dont have to worry too much right now..My son did not pass his drivers test..Needs to work on parking..

Angie - posted on 02/22/2009

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My son is getting his driver's license on Tuesday, if he passes the test. I'm actually feeling very comfortable with him driving on his own - but we'll see how I feel Tuesday afternoon - LOL. I look forward to not driving him to 6am basketball practice or 7am jazz band or picking him up at midnight after getting back from long trips. He knows that if he does anything to bring his insurance bills up he will be paying the difference. He also knows that if I see him driving in an unsafe manner (and I'm out running around a lot) I will take his license and his truck keys away from him.

Laura - posted on 02/20/2009

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yes it is! Well I dont have to worry about right now because my son ended up failing his road test so I guess he is not ready yet. He is very imature for his age so i feel like this happened for the best. He will re take the road the test in the future when he gets a few more months practice.

Helen - posted on 02/20/2009

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Here in NSW my daughter can get her L plates at 16, that was last Monday, 16 on the 16th!! I hit me like a tonne of bricks, when she started talking about getting her L plates.



When she passes the theory test she will have to do 120 hours of documented driving in all conditions and has a year to complete or has to renew her L's. She drives around our small property so she has an advantage on alot of other youth, but I worry about her driving on the roads, its the other drivers that worry me I know she will do her best to be safe and responsible, I know my husband will ensure he has taught her all he can and I will do the same making sure she gets lots of practice



, I do wish that they did some sort of Driver training at school which I have seen in other countries as then it would be discussed amongst their peers in a different environment, other than just getting excited about who gets their licence first.



I was confident at her age but oh boy its so different when you are the parent isn't it.

Tricia - posted on 02/19/2009

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xanax...lol. I am afraid of most adult drivers, but riding with my 3 older teenagers absolutely scares me! Pray, is all I can say!

Pam - posted on 02/19/2009

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After reading the other messages... I really don't know how you cope. Here in England they have too be 17 to get their licence and to have lessons before they have their test.  My son had 3 attempts and passed but is a careful driver due to the reason they failed him on the other 2 attempts!  Now he is 18 he is a little more responsible.  At 16 I don't think I would hold the same opinion!  He has grown up a lot since then...

Pam - posted on 02/19/2009

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Just wait til they have a car of their own and then the real fear kicks in!  But then remember when we were that age and trust that your children have some responsibility when behind the wheel.  Scary I know, especially when I get in the car with him! Ultimately though they have learnt everything from us and although they are slightly inexperienced they will know right from wrong.  My son has just returned home as I write and thankful he is here!!  All the best. Pam xx

Jackie - posted on 02/19/2009

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My advice to parents out there who have a teen about to get their drivers license...
LET THEM DRIVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITH YOU IN THE CAR... if it is raining...let them drive... if it is snowing let them drive... if it is foggy...let them drive.
It is amazing how fast that time is gone and all of a sudden they can drive on their own.
We let my daughter drive as much as possible but it stil didnt seem like enough.
Once they are driving on their own the phone calls... help alot... mom... I am here.. mom I am leaving now.
and it does get easier *smile*

Sue - posted on 02/18/2009

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Jennifer, it sounds like Utah has a great driviing program! And you sound like you're a great parent too! :)

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2009

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My daughter just turned 16 in January, so I can really feel for you. But Utah, where we live, makes it a bit easier. She got her "Learner's Permit" at 15 1/2 and was required to drive at least 40 hours with a guardian before she could get her driver's license on top of a driver's education course, which included driving with a teacher and other students. That really helped me to start with. Then until she is 16 1/2, she can't drive with anyone in the car except immediate family. I like this part, too. It keeps her focused just on the road. Apparently, teen accidents have gone down because of these.
Now, don't kid yourself, I still worry. But my daughter has a healthy fear of driving and carries her cell phone every time, so I know she'll just do her best and take it slow. And so far, so good - even with the snow.
Now my 18 year old son, I still worry about him in our old Jeep Cherokee.
Lots of Luck!
Jennifer

Sue - posted on 02/17/2009

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It's scary when we let go of our kids, I totally understand. I guess as parents, we have to just hope and turn it over to a "higher power" and let them go! I know that, for me, I say a little prayer each day for our 3 children and for my husband to travel safely through their day and to come home safely as well. That's all I can do! If I were to really sit and think about all the horrible things that could happen to them, I'd be a basketcase! :)  We just have to have faith that we have done all the right things and given our children all the right tools in dealing with being a responsible driver! That's all you can really do!

Pati - posted on 02/17/2009

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I dont really know, I am grateful that she calls me as soon as she gets to her location so I know when she is off the road, that helps a bit. I drove around with her for a year before she drove away by herself, and I know she is a good driver, but I worry about the other drivers on the road. Its been a year and now I only panic when I hear sirens and I know she is not home. She has a contract that we put together as a team and she follows it to the letter.

Sue - posted on 02/17/2009

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Hi!



First off, your son or daughter has been through the drivers ed course and passed? If so, you know there are certain rules to abide by. Here in Illinois, we have what's called a "Graduated Driver License Program".  Check it out! Even if you don't live in this state or have this, it has some great tips and pointers for you! Gone are the days when getting your driver's license meant you hopped in a car and just took off! I hope this helps! Good luck!



http://www.cyberdriveillinois.com/depart...

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