How do you handle your daughters boyfriend your husband doesn't like?

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Tammy - posted on 01/19/2010

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I'm not sure if there is any hope for this poor boy, or any other. My daughter has recently turned 15 and we keep a pretty tight rope on her. But she's a good girl. She's been talking to this boy she met through a friend and seems to like him. Well she did until my husband stepped in. He was furious that our daughters text so much to BOYS. I mean he was livid. Needless to say he and the gilrs got into this huge debate and he called this boy from my daughters phone and asked him what his intentions were with our daughter. He also told this boy that he was his age once and he knows what his intentions were and what he did. My daughter was irate. This boy was scared to death by the end of the call and of course my daughter was embarrased to death. Your husband sounds like mine. He circles this boy like a shark waiting to go in for the kill. Nothing this boy says or does is going to be ok with him. And god forbid this boy get stupid and try to kiss daddy's little girl. You would be amazed at how normal this is. So do what I do. I try to beat it into my husbands thick head that if he doesnt give a little trust, he's going to make them rebel. And as a woman you know that every girl wants that bad boy that mothers want to smack. They want him out of spite. Tell your husband to try talking to the boy about respecting his daughter. But do it with respect. Tell him not to over react or he's going to make it worse for everyone. And for god sakes dont let him do it alone he is a man. Meaning there way of getting there point across is to scare these boys until they cry or wet themselves. I try to stay very open with my daughhters about sex, this doesnt mean there going to tell me. But it means I know what there going through, and about curiosity. And im willing to do what it takes to protect her from diaseases, pregnancy, and a bad reputation. All I can do is watch, keep trusting her, tell her everyday that im there for her, and i understand. I also try to keep the husband aware that she's going to grow up, we cant stop this. So enjoy this time we still have with her at home. Dont make her desperate to get away from us. Because thats OUR baby, not just his. So he needs to find the comprimise. Good luck and if you fi9nd something that works even better please share. Like I said I have 2 teen girls right now that are all into the boys.

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Judi - posted on 01/20/2010

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Thank you for the replies. I have talked to my husband ad nauseum, but he won't even give the guy a chance. I am not really enamored with this boy myself, He seems to be a nice enough kid, but the main issue is, he is a junior and my daughter is a freshman. They are only 17 months apart in age, but the life experience age is much greater. I don't want to forbid the relationship, because I was there once, and it made me rebel, and my daughter is just as stubborn as I was. So I'm taking it one day at a time. They are now "going steady!" But my husband says it is tearing this family apart! It is just pissing him off. I'm dealing calmly. I have always thought my daughter to be responsible, but she has made some bad decisions as far a the boy goes. I have a fairly open relationship with her, and I hope she can confide in me, but lately I just don't know. As far as overreaction? That's all my husband does. He is MR OVERREACTION, that's why I don't want him talking to the boy. For now, he expresses his opinion, but has pretty much stayed out of what happens in the relationship. We'll see how it goes.

Angie - posted on 01/19/2010

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You and your husband should parent as a team and not one person against the other. The idea one of the mom's has about telling her husband to keep quiet unless there is a reason for him to say something is a recipe for disaster. Listen to what your husband is saying - truly listen. In my house, we discuss things away from the children and make a decision together. In all honesty, my husband is better about understanding teen boys than I am - he was one!

Maryjo - posted on 01/18/2010

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I usually tell my husband to keep quiet unless there is some reason to say something,I usually keep ears open and keep close eye on, because my husband really doesnt like any boy that likes my daughter just because its his little girl eventhough she will be 15 soon

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