How do you help an angry teenage boy?

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Leslee - posted on 09/24/2012

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Dear Machelle..........I am SO sorry you are living through this without direction. I can only speak from MY experience. My sister had a brain injury at age 16 (she is 58 and I am 46 now) however, at age 16, her actions were more "dramatic" than they are now.......however, they are not less anger-filled and her ability to process information is difficult at best. No one would know if they met her! They would think she is a bit "eccentric" or outgoing, etc. But the family knows the ugly, brutal truth. We wanted to blame it on her teen years, but now years later, her behavior is just like a teen, only in a 58 year old's body. Please outreach the brain injury association of america. biausa.org they are kind and helpful and understanding. When my sister had her injury, they didn't have brain injury resources they have now, like brain injury speech therapy, so the injured can learn how to do simple things that now frustrate them so much, or occupational therapy, in case there are things he has forgotten how to do but won't tell you (like brush his hair, or add or subtract numbers) only a clinical psychiatricneuropsychologist can assess what part of the brain is truly affected. The scans will show what is damaged now, but not how it will affect his life and behavior. I do hope you live near a town that has these specialists as you will find a wealth of knowledge, such as what to expect, how to handle it, what to do to prevent it........etc. I wish I could say if it is brain injury vs hormones, however, at this point, I don't think you have an choice, and you have err on the side of caution, and have the brain injury evaluated and treated as much and as fast as possible. I wish my sister would have had that chance. I have worked as a nurse with brain injuries, for many, many years, and the ability of these professionals to bring someone back to functioning in this world is amazing. Please seek them out. Fight for your son, as he is unable to process the tasks that face him. Much love!!

Machelle - posted on 04/29/2012

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my son became angry after two bad injuries to his head that happened by kids at his school...the school says and the legal aide says the school is not responsible other than to try and keep him safe, because they didnt do it directly to him.....so if ur child gets hurt at school know they are only required to pay the unpaid medical bills.....now my son has been diagnosed with brain damage..i found this out by a neurology specialist who is now sending him for a brain scan to detail his diagnosis.....i knew something was different about him..his anger...straight a's to failing and unmotivated......what i am unsure about is....how much can i chalk up as brain damage and teenage testoserone.....i still mandate that he knows right from wrong and even though his aggression speaks out...he manages to keep the physical in....he gets very upset when things dont go the way he believes they should.....or when he gets unjustified somehow...it happens throughout life i tell him and give him dealing skills,,,,sometimes he uses them sometimes he doesnt...and his best friends are not how do i say.....come from healthy families....but the area i live in most kids are unhealthy,,,unfortunately!...i care for them alot as well...but i need some more advice on what i can say to my son or find what his aggression is stemming from.....

Julie - posted on 11/04/2010

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i have lived the teenage years twice and dont envy any of you. like ange suggests thougha physical outlet is good. with my son it was martial arts for a while. good environment and not parent monitiored. all teenage kids are angry at some point and all us parents can do is reassure them that we are hear to listen and help where we can and that we still love them but some behaviour is still noit acceptable and has consequences. my son eventualy settled for playing the guitar and has loved it. its something to take his mind off things and give him some kind of satisfaction knowing he can do something. he is now in a band with his friends and has been on tour twice. the first time beleive i dont think i cried as much when he first went to school :) but thats me that a bit attahced to them i think. he just needs to know he is worth something teenage years can be the most self conscious demoralising years any person live through. he just needs to focus on something he likes. trust me your happy boy will return one day and if he is like my kids they bound back with a vengence mine do nothing but torment the life out of me roll on being an empty nest mum ha ha

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2010

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I have the same problem with my teenage daughter. She is angry all the time. We dont' know what is bothering her because she refuses to talk to us. We have tried everything! When she does talk to me, it is out of anger and probably not even about the problem.

Angie - posted on 11/02/2010

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I give him a physical outlet. For my son (17) it's running. He runs 3 miles or so outside as long as it's not dark and if it is dark, he runs on th treadmill.

Amy - posted on 11/02/2010

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I try to help my son open up and talk about what is bothering him. It is not the easiet thing to do but if he doesn't feel like he can talk to you about what is going on that is making him angry give him a notepad and tell him to write it down. Sometimes it is easier for them to write what is bothering them than to talk to us. ou just have to make sure that he knows that no matter what you are only trying to help in the best way that you can..

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