HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR TEEN IS DEPRESSED AND NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP?

Shauna - posted on 07/07/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

3

7

0

MY 13yr old never leaves the house he is mad all the time he's mean to his brothers he hate me right now and he don't want to go over to his father's house. he has no friends and when I try to get him to go out all he say is its boring and get mad.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tina - posted on 07/17/2009

1

20

0

That is a great question. I am feeling the same way about my 18 year old daugther. She seems to be very unhappy most of the time and never wants to do anything until forced. She even has a boy that is interested in her but she doesn't want to do anything with him. I don't understand her. She is sad, withdrawn, and even seems to be slightly ill a lot of the time. What is up with teenagers these days?

Linda - posted on 07/26/2009

2

12

0

My thoughts on this.... I have been through this with both of my teenage girls. both got so depressed they got into cutting themselves. I never knew they were until after it was too late. Your son sounds like my youngest child. She never wanted to leave, always pissed off and basically slept most of her days away. I got really tired of it and took her to see a counselor. Just so you know i was seeing one at the time too. I have been diagnosed with depression and my counselor recommended that i get her in. I truly believe that counselor i got for my daughter saved her life. She never went on medication but saw the counselor 2 times a week. Look for a counselor that deals with children and depression. It could help.

KIM - posted on 04/04/2013

3

0

0

MY 13 YR OLD HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED, PTSD, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION. THATS A HUGE CLOUD OVER HIS HEAD.....HE HAS FAILED 2 GRADES IN SCHOOL FIXING TO FAIL A THIRD. ALL BECAUSE HE GETS" BORED" IN CLASS, "FORGETS" HIS HOMEWORK. GETS SENT TO OFFICE FOR JUST PLAIN SILLY REASONS...GOOFING AROUND AND HORSEPLAYING, GETS DETENTIONS, ISS FOR MISSING WORK. AS OF YESTERDAY HE HAS 20 MISSING! HE WILL TELL ME THAT HE DOES CARE, BUT DONT SHOW IT....I AM AT MY WITS END . AND WHEN HE BRINGS HOMEWORK HOME ITS A BATTLE TO GET IT DONE! IF HE FAILS THIS YEAR TOO HE WILL NOT GRADUATE UNTIL HE IS 20 YRS! HELPFUL IDEAS?

Joy - posted on 07/14/2009

2

17

0

Well being a mom of two depressed and medicated teens myself I can say this...#1 Teenage hormonal angst can seem very much like actual depression..#2 I noticed with my kids at that age even with their meds there were bad days and REALLY bad days (especially with my daughter due to the beginning of her cycle etc)....#3 teens tend to lock their lips about negative emotions even when the communication with the parent/parents is amazing which of course makes it very difficult....Best bet IMO in trying to determine whether or not its just hormonal or a bout of depression is to first evaluate whether or not there is something or recently has been something major that has happened..be it a death in the family (it was my kids fathers sudden suicide which followed right after our move to the U.S that put them both over the edge), being bullied at school, maybe a move to a new area and so on...Has there been unusual fighting for example between you and his father? Second suggestion is to watch for other things that he may or may not be doing or has changed etc...



Of course keep the door of communication WIDE open and becareful how you word things to him..For example if he shares something that is bothering him, NEVER tell him to "just get over it", "move on", "forget about it", "stop being silly" etc..(not saying that you would or wouldn't, obviously I dont know you ya know)...Those are all expressions that are VERY damaging though they may not seem like they would be...



finally if you think or find that its not getting any better I would talk to his doc about it and see what he/she suggests...



Hope things look up for you and of course your son...depression is a horrible thing to have to live with (speaking from personal experience) and when your kids are going through it its 100 x's worse IMO cause who wants to see their babies in so much pain ya know...

Ann - posted on 07/08/2009

1

17

1

I have a 17 yr old daughter that we adopted and her mom is in the picture sometimes. I don't know the situation with son's father but it sounds like we have been going through. He is angry with his dad for not being there for him and blames himeself for the situation. Even though it's not his fault. I sought counseling for my 17 yr old daughter last year because she was angry all the time and was taking it out on me. The counseling has helped her understand that it's not her fault for the way her mom left her and is in and out of her life and he knows now after a year of counseling. Trying to learn how to tell her mom how she feels. Things are better but by no means perfect. She's a teenager. Hope you can get some counseling for you and your son.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

28 Comments

View replies by

Cynthia - posted on 06/13/2012

3

0

0

I know of a wonderful solution to your problem. If you are not sure whether your child needs professional help but you are worried about him, send him over to the folks at Portrait Health. They've got a new program they are running for moody or unhappy kids to receive evaluations without the social stigma of "therapy". It's an iPhone app course where kids will learn how to make iphone apps and receive psych evaluations at the same time. It's completely free and location is not an issue. Check out this press release for more information, or send me a message: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/portrait-h...

Sam - posted on 05/17/2012

1

0

0

so whqt do you do when your step-son posts on the internet that he hates his life and wants to kill himself???

Melanie_kennedy91@yahoo.com - posted on 04/13/2012

5

0

0

Talk to his doctor about it. They can do a quick quiz to talk about what he mostly feels like in situations and if he answers the depression or anxiety aspects of the quiz you will know right away. how you go about therapy and medication is another story. I've found medications dont work for me at ALL no matter the brand or dosage. The best thing a depressed person can do is keep busy. If you find a lot of activities to do specifically together just you and him he may feel alot better. he might be calling out for attention and just being a teen and being angry but ask his doctor.

Sara - posted on 04/12/2012

4

0

0

sit him down look straight in his eye and say 'i love you' dont break eye contact and say nothing else but i love you, even if he says something eles just keep repeating it i hope you will learn what is happening and with another post a person asked if anything happend at the fathers house that is very important too. i dont know much but i hope this helps even if it is just a little.

Laura - posted on 07/21/2009

1

8

0

These 2 things kind of go together, i have recently taken my son to see a phyciatrist because he came to me and told me he needed some help. He was diagnosed w/ ADHD and depression, and is taking medication. He is also seeing a counselor to help him figure out how to deal with things that have happened in the past. My son and I have a very close relationship and we both know that these things are temporary and will be resolved soon.I dont know about your sons situation, but he may be crying out for help in his own way and all you can do is try to be there for him as much as possible. I am sure he doesnt hate you even though it my seem like it. Stay strong and just try to let him know that you love him and you are here for him. Hope things get better for you and him. Take Care :)

CONNIE - posted on 07/19/2009

5

9

2

If you are questioning yourself then it is time to get help. You have that mom's intuition acting up. I also thought something was bothering my 14 yr. old son, but before we could get help he took an overdose of pills. He is okay now, but if you have any doubt seek help.

Heather - posted on 07/17/2009

1

16

0

It sounds like you are talking about my son!!!! His dad left us in 2008. After he started punching wholes in the walls I took him to a doctor. The doctor put him on medication and counseling. He is doing better and has maade some friends and I am now working on getting him off the meds. Medication is not always the answer, it should be the last resort, but it did help him to calm down enough so I was able to get through to him. Good luck and prayers!!!!

Toni - posted on 07/16/2009

149

34

15

Depression usually comes with sleeping a lot, eating a lot or not eating at all, not wanting to talk etc. If he is mad all the time, it is not necessarily depression, however it could be manic depression, which is kinda different, more known as bi-polar. I suggest you talk to his doctor asap. Start writing down his behavior on a daily basis. One way I was able to tell is this - When he is up he is really up but when he is down, he is really down. This is a tell tale sign. Good luck and god bless.

Linda - posted on 07/16/2009

1

19

0

Every child is different and different things will effect their moods behaiour and so on Best advice you can get is counseling to see if it is a mantal condition or just typical Teenhood..Depression and bi-polar are two of the conditions that have those very symptoms you are describing but also normal everyday life as a Teen is rough specialy in this day and age with all the extra added stresses of society..so best you can do is seek Counseling..hope you do and all works out by th way Bi-polar can look just like depression because one of the cycles is a depressed state that is why it is also referred to as manic depressive and the manic stage will sometimes be just what others consider normal everyday behaviour so seek a cunselor and your personal physician

DAWN - posted on 07/15/2009

14

15

0

My daughter's biological was never around and my ex-husband came onto her life when she was 2 years old. I thought everything was fine until her step-father betrayed her.Our lives has changed in the past 2 years.We moved to my ex-mother-in-laws house and she was kicked out and moved in with my parents for 6 months. Then once again, we all moved into our old house.

When she was younger, she always had to be the big sister and watched her brother and sister alot during the day while I was at work and my ex-husband slept. Then all of a sudden, she was able to be a teen-ager and not have to be in charge of her brother and sister. Now she is very rebels against everything, we have gotten into fights, she has tried to run away and claims that she soes not have to listen to anyone. I have tried to take her to counseling, but it did not help. In fact I think it made things worse. We have times when everything is fine and we can talk but then it can change in a matter of seconds.

Has anyone had the same problems or similiar to them? I really need some help I am at my breaking point and at times want to send her away to military school.

Chastity - posted on 07/15/2009

1

2

0

Hello, I know what you are going through. I have a 12 year old son that does the same thing. We did talk to our family doctor and he referred us to a phsycologist. My son was dianosed with ADD, OCD, and depression. He was put on medication for his ADD and depression. I have taken him off the medicine though.. We started chiropractic care which has been a huge blessing. He's very very manipulative and very intelligent. Counseling helped him out alot. He was so angry, has alot of friends but, tells me he doesn't. We started to attend church and he was saved and baptised. He is very involved with church activities. So I would strongly recommend talking with your family dr. and then counseling. My husband works alot and our son felt he had to be the adult male in our home while my husband was gone.. He now knows that he's just a kid and it's ok. It's alot of work but, so worth it!! Good luck and lots of prayers sent your way!

[deleted account]

I agree with Joy. Anger can be part of depression, but I think it is more frequently part of being a teen. It probably varies in severity due to their hormones, their genes, their mental and emotional genetic background. I have/am gone/going through the same thing with all of my teens. Particularly around the age of 14.
I think conversing with them is the key to finding out 'is it depression" or is it hormones.

Joy - posted on 07/14/2009

2

17

0

Quoting Paula:

Doesn't sound like depression to me, that would look more like: sleeping all the time, getting "sick" VERY often, getting bad grades (if they were formerly a good student), forgetting everything, taking about deatha nd being sad, moodiness, but not neccissarily angry. Getting counseling sounds like the best idea to find out what is really bothering him.



Thats not necessarily true..neither of my kids wanted to sleep all the time, nor did they "get sick" very often and my son isnt a top notch student but his grades never really changed and my daughter who is an honour student remained so throughout the harshest phase of her depression...



As for angry...all three of us (I have suffered from severe depression since childhood I'm almost 40 yrs old now) did in fact display anger..my son and I moreso than my daughter and I actually tend to go into violent rages..



As for death and talking about it etc...well that varies I think...my daughter talked about it, I've attempted suicide several times since the age of 13 and my son first became suicidal when he was 6 yrs old when his brother died...



I definately agree that talkign to a professional is the way to go when in doubt..what can it hurt ya know.

Angela - posted on 07/14/2009

1

20

0

I have had a teenage daughter who suffered with depression and my suggestion would be if in doubt that he is depressed get a professional oppinion because the earlier the intervention and help the better the outcome.

Sandra - posted on 07/12/2009

8

1

0

Actually, anger is a VERY big part of depression. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and my son last year. Anger and flying off the handle at nothing seems right. My son has never really been too good at school, and this year he actually did pretty good. He does not take any medication because he has choosen not to and the doc says it is his decision. He has never, and i hope never does, speak of death. Also, he doesn't sleep nearly enough. The best advice i can give you is to take him to his doc and see what they say. I was shocked when my doc said i may have depression. I never would have guest i had it. Anger and forgetfulness were my main things. Teenagers are very moody and that may be all it is, but it is definately worth a trip to the doctor to find out for sure. Good luck

Paula - posted on 07/12/2009

5

3

1

Doesn't sound like depression to me, that would look more like: sleeping all the time, getting "sick" VERY often, getting bad grades (if they were formerly a good student), forgetting everything, taking about deatha nd being sad, moodiness, but not neccissarily angry. Getting counseling sounds like the best idea to find out what is really bothering him.

Carmen - posted on 07/12/2009

1

22

0

My sixteen year old daughter went through this when she was fourteen. There were alot of changes going on in our family: moving, changing schools, new blended family. I took her to the pediatrician, had therapist referred and we went as a family first until it was only her making the visits. The therapist worked with her and gave her tools to cope with the new family dynamics. It turns out, we all needed therapy and were given conversational exercises that really made us think before we spoke. We learned alot! My daughter didn't end up on meds and she was not depressed, just normal teenage hormones...that needed a different sort of attention and focusing her energies in a positive direction (sports, music and rotc). I'm glad that we all went together as first.

Tara - posted on 07/11/2009

54

22

1

Is this a new thing, or has he been like this for a while? It isn't normal to be angry all the time. Is there a specific trigger, or is he just angry at everything. A lot of mental health issues surface during the teenage years. Have things changed for him lately and that could be triggering things for him. As for not leaving his house, is it like an anxiety? His behaviour does sound like maybe you should get it checked out. What you could do is talk to your family doctor and maybe he may need to be refered to a therapist. Maybe with some counselling he will be able to learn some coping skills, and it may be helpful for him to have someone outside the family to talk to. Good luck!

[deleted account]

oh hell.....same here...13 yr old son, gets so moody, says he has no friends and that he eats lunch alone....but then when i talk to his cousin, she says he sits with a ton of friends at lunch.....says he bored all the time, wants to skateboard and if he can't then the world comes to an end....has anger spurts, then cries and says sorry.....what is going on, is it hormones?!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms