How old is to old for good discipline?

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Jonette - posted on 03/06/2011

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It is never to old for good discipline. It is our job as parents to teach our children how to be good adults. My kids are 19, 22, and 23 and to this day they not only expect, but respect me getting on to them for behaving in an inappropriate manner. I am their mom. I will always be their mom... My job is never done! The consequences of their actions change as they get older because it isn't like you can ground them at 23, but you still guide them in the right direction. A little reminder can go a long way!

Julie - posted on 03/04/2011

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no one is too old for discapline as long as they live in your house. everyone needs to take responsibility for something within the home and regardless of age they need to know that you are not there to pick up after them all the time. they want your time and attention and even when they are old enough to live on their own they choose to stay so they also need to choose to take responsibility and help with the day to day running of the home. we love our kids to bits and would die for them but we are not mugs. yes we chose to have them but we did not choose to have the bad mouth or behaviour that is their choice and they need to know it is not acceptable regardless of age or gender.

Pamela - posted on 03/04/2011

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even adults need to bu told they have done wrong and be discipline so no age is to old.

[deleted account]

Quoting Robin:

Children at any age need bounderies & guidelines. They feel more cared for when you set limits. My 20 year old is home from college... we sat down, discussed expectations & consequences as we do with our 16 year old.



Absolutely agree with this.  Need to set boundaries and guidelines.  Let them know what the conquences are when those boundaries are crossed.  Be firm and don't waiver.  They will have more respect for you when you adhere to expectations you have set for them.



Leslie

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Robin - posted on 04/25/2013

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If they're living in your home, or using things you bought for them (car, laptop, etc) then they can still be disciplined, because they're still dependent on you.

Amy - posted on 04/25/2013

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I don't think any child of any age is to old to be disciplined especially if they are still living at home. I am a mother of 3 a 22 year old male, 20 year old daughter and a 15 year old daughter. I also have 2 step-daughters that are now in their mid 30's. Fourteen years ago I had a good experience with discipline and older (children) that helped me with my 3 while raising my 3. My oldest step-daughter was still in college, her husband had just graduated and found a job in the area that we lived. Since we had the room and knew he was just out of school and my step-daughter still had over 1 year to go we allowed him to move in with us. My husband was a truck driver at the time and was gone during the week with a 1, 6 and 8 year old I knew I had to set some house rules and boundaries because I did not want him coming in late and not doing any chores around the house. Plus I didn't want him to walk all over me. Now I first thought at his age (23) he would respect the rules and do as he should while living here but I was shock that he did test me and did break some rules. I did have to discipline him some while he was here even if at times it was just a good lecture. He was always respectful to me and over the year built a good relationship that we still have today. He is much a like a son to me now than a son-in-law.

Laura - posted on 01/21/2013

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Thanks everyone for your input,my situation is a little different.but it still helps!

Christina - posted on 03/06/2011

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When they move out of your house, they are too old for good discipline. I was 18yrs old, with a child, living in my parents house and they would still ground me!

Mrs. CupCake - posted on 03/04/2011

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Quoting Robin:



Children at any age need bounderies & guidelines. They feel more cared for when you set limits. My 20 year old is home from college... we sat down, discussed expectations & consequences as we do with our 16 year old.





I agree with this...AND, they are NEVER too old to discipline, especially if they are still living under your roof. :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/04/2011

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IMHO, they are NEVER Too old for age appropriate discipline. The methods may change as they get older, but there should always be some form of discipline. As mine get into their teens, spanking is no longer a form in our house, but consequences still exist for their actions. Heck, my on mother still disciplines me, in the form of suggestions (which I sometimes heed, sometimes don't...LOL)

[deleted account]

Quoting Robin:

Children at any age need bounderies & guidelines. They feel more cared for when you set limits. My 20 year old is home from college... we sat down, discussed expectations & consequences as we do with our 16 year old.



Absolutely agree with this.  Need to set boundaries and guidelines.  Let them know what the conquences are when those boundaries are crossed.  Be firm and don't waiver.  They will have more respect for you when you adhere to expectations you have set for them.



Leslie

Robin - posted on 05/22/2009

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Children at any age need bounderies & guidelines. They feel more cared for when you set limits. My 20 year old is home from college... we sat down, discussed expectations & consequences as we do with our 16 year old.

Amanda - posted on 05/21/2009

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My oldest son is 20 and still has a curfew and chores to do. If he breaks curfew without calling or his chores are not done he losses his car for up to a week depending on the offense. He knows this and respects the rules with no problem. My younger 2 (ages 16 and 12) will get grounded or lose privileges when they don't follow the rules. They are more likely to break the rules than the oldest. Teenagers will test you it is their job, but if you are consistent they get it eventually. You have to be firm and you have to make sure that the punishment fits the crime. I will sometimes ask them what they think their punishment should be. Be firm but fair.

[deleted account]

i take the cell phones away, laptops away but only in extreme cases. i sit the boys down 13 and 15 and explain the behavior to them that they are doing. i give them a warning sometimes 2 because they both have central auditory processing disorder and they have to be told 2 times sometimes so they process it and understand it. it works its most cases but they are typical teenagers and you have to take that into account also. they aren't going to be perfect angels, pick and choose the battles - easier said than done, don't get on their case on everything makes things worse i found that out.

Deirdre - posted on 05/17/2009

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I personally believe that it depends on the level of respect that your child has for you . For me, I have never spanked my oldest ( so far) since she was around 5, because I have set ground rules with her and my youngest daughter. Now kids do differ, but I feel like as a parent, once you have taught them who the boss is and to respect you as a mother, then that will give you more of a guide on how to handle them. For my younger daughter, I have spanked only once ( and I allowed her father to do that because I know I would have hurt her..lol) but, that is because talking t and taking things from her has not helped, so we had to take a different approach. Hopefully with her getting spanked, she will now understand that we mean business. So.. again every child is different, but I frimly believe that you should try every method out there to bring you point across to your child.

Maria - posted on 05/14/2009

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I agree with Vanessa! Even adults sometimes needed some reminding once in awhile. It only shows your concern for your loved ones' welfare.

Jessica - posted on 05/14/2009

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Never too old! Teenagers especially need discipline. They will fight you on it. They are testing you to see how much they can get away with. Stay firm, don't give in, state the rules in a calm fashion. Let them know what the consequences will be for breaking the rules and follow through on your punishment if they do break them (and they will). That is the most important thing don't let them off the hook. Sometimes their punishment is more brutual to you because you have to put up with the sulking, complaining, whining, and having around a sullen, angry teenager. But if you stand your ground they will know you mean business and eventually they will stop testing you.

Angie - posted on 05/13/2009

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Quoting vanessa:

It's NEVER too old, discipline shows your child you love them.



I agree Vanessa.  Even now, my parents will let me know if I am doing something they don't approve of and I'm 41.  I appreciate their input!

Tina - posted on 05/13/2009

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It all depends on what you mean. Like if they are your own and you have been very leniant with them and now what more discipline then you need to put your feet down and be consistant with it eventually they will get that it's or way and not theirs. I do feel that children learn good behaviors and respond to discipline at a young age but I also feel that it's never to late to start.
Tina

Anna - posted on 05/13/2009

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I would say it depends on the type of discipline. If you mean pyhsical like spankings or time out, then I would suggest twelve. As children grow older they begin to realize that physical pain is only temporary. however, at any age a child needs guidance especially in their teen years. Force, violence, or intolerant attitudes may cause a child to feel rebellious or in extreme, extreme, extreme cases unloved and scared. Now, this was a long answer to a short question, but it is only my suggestion based entirely upon my experiences.

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