How old is too old for a 13 year old girl.

Heather - posted on 10/17/2009 ( 36 moms have responded )

7

25

0

I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter, her boyfriend that was 13 broke up with her last night at the high school football game. she was devistated. well by the end of the game she was introducing us to her new guy as she called him. He told me up front he was 15 years old, and he didnt want to disrespect us in anyway nor would he hurt her. I think this is just a rebound type boyfriend but is 15 year old boy too old for 13 year old girl. they will never go anywhere alone, but would like opinions.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lola - posted on 09/16/2012

1

0

0

My little sister is 12 years old and she has been together with a 15 year old guy but they are only one school year apart. They have been together for almost four months and they have not dome more than kiss its true, he might just be a rebound, but don't worry, unless you suspect that they are doing inappropriate thuings, let her be happy :)

Julia - posted on 06/18/2013

45

0

4

I think it is okay for your daughter to be in that type of relationship. My son had a girlfriend who was 14 when he was 11, and it worked fine.

Kelly - posted on 10/23/2009

21

1

4

My daughter did not date till her junior year, but no that is not too old!!!!!

Tina - posted on 10/26/2009

4

2

0

Quoting Heather:

How old is too old for a 13 year old girl.

I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter, her boyfriend that was 13 broke up with her last night at the high school football game. she was devistated. well by the end of the game she was introducing us to her new guy as she called him. He told me up front he was 15 years old, and he didnt want to disrespect us in anyway nor would he hurt her. I think this is just a rebound type boyfriend but is 15 year old boy too old for 13 year old girl. they will never go anywhere alone, but would like opinions.


I have 3 daughters that are all married now but when they were teanagers i did'nt let them date until they were 15 1/2  and only on group dates then, where i knew they were like the movies, carnival, bowling etc. but i allowed a 2 year age difference for friends and boyfriends, haveing 3 girls believe me if one did something wrong, one of them was sure to let it slip.

[deleted account]

I have four daughters and this is always tough. You can't forbid or he's even more attractive. I have found it best to say nothing and keep a very close eye on them. My daughters have all come to their senses on their own and usually very quickly.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

36 Comments

View replies by

Allison - posted on 05/31/2013

1

0

0

My daughter is 13 and she has a 15 year old boyfriend he doesn't pressure her into anything she doesn't want. He respects her. All they have done is kissed. They met by one of her close guy friends and now 3 months later they are just really happy.

Kristi - posted on 01/12/2013

1,355

3

78

My 13 year old would not be allowed any where near a 15 year old. The question is WHY does a 15 year old high school student want to have a 13 year old, who may or may not have been through puberty yet, junior high school girlfriend? Something is more than a little wrong with that picture.

Lady - posted on 01/11/2013

7

0

0

i say, that any age over 17 is not proper 4 a girl her age. dont be snoopy but try to figure things of him.4 instince, look at how he dresses,and what attitude he has in his voice. if hes a snob,then say HELLLLLLL NOOO!

Valarie - posted on 10/25/2009

2

11

0

me personally i think 13 is too young i feel the older the better but everyone raises their kids differently however i think a 15 year old boy is told for a 13 year old girl because guys tend to have a little more experience we are to protect our kids even when they dont get it

Christine - posted on 10/25/2009

2

22

0

In my opinion, 13 is way to young to date. I have an 18 year old and thought it would be ok for her to date younger. I was wrong. That opened up an area that her mind was not ready for. I know you can't control what happens at school, however you can control outside of school. I would suggest not dating this young. But group functions will be ok. We will not allow our 2nd daughter to date until 16.

Rosanna - posted on 10/25/2009

2

20

0

I think 13 is too young to be dating. Groups is great. But girlfreind/boyfriend - no. What happens in a few years when an innocent girlfriend/boyfriend relationship isn't enough. Age appropriate. Kids are growing up too fast. That's why kids are having sex at 12.

Heather - posted on 10/24/2009

7

25

0

YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT, I KNOW THIS FROM WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER. I AM WAS 13 WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND AND HE WAS 15. WE MARRIED WHEN I WAS 15 AND HE WAS 18. NOW 20 1/2 YEARS LATER WE ARE STILL TOGETHER. BUT I DONT WANT THAT FOR MY BABY. SHE IS IN NO WAY AS MATURE AT HER AGE AS I WAS THEN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE. I LOVE THIS CIRCLE OF MOMS.

[deleted account]

I think age depends on maturity. But a 15 year old boy is going to want different things than a 13 year old girl. Hopefully it is short lived. Kids that age go through lots of boyfriends and girlfriends. My daughter is 15 and she may not date untill she is 16 and even then he has to be in her grade. Though she has had boyfriends on and off sense she was 13 they have all been at school or at school related activities. 16 is a good age to start dating because your daughter is now able to drive and can if a situation arises where she NEEDS to.

Laura - posted on 10/24/2009

1

6

0

This is only my opinion but i wouldn't let my daughter have a boyfriend until she is 16 years old and that is with supervistion. As for the friend that she introduced to you. Yes he is a Rebound or a way to get the exboyfriend mad at her and make him come back to her. 1 of the 2. Hope this helps,Laura

Kathy - posted on 10/23/2009

8

2

0

I ha ve a 13 year old daughter she in the 8th grade and she is not aloud to date till at least 16,that it.She talk about boys and says I have a boyfriend,then she say I just broke up.I don't worry to much about her.She going thru that stage.Yes 15 is alittle old for a 13 year old girl.Be the parent stand your grounds..

Kathy Hathaway-Kline

Melanie - posted on 10/22/2009

5

7

0

That is a good question. I too have a daughter who just turned 13. I am interested in others opinion on this as well.

Cassandra - posted on 10/21/2009

4

14

0

I believe that if you tell her now she can not date him then she will behind you back and possiable do something wrong, but on the other hand if you allow them to date witha strict set of rules and boundries then it might work.

Melissa - posted on 10/21/2009

22

21

2

Not to make light of your situation, but my 10 yr. son is for hire to help chase the boy away. My daughter is also 13 & her newest "boyfriend" wanted to take her to the movies. Hubby & I said no, he comes here so we can meet him first. 4 hrs. after dealing w/ hubby, me and the 10 yr. old tyrant - he barely calls anymore. We'll see if he sticks around. Unfortunately, at that age kids are more interested in being boyfriend & girlfriend then actually being in a relationship. We've told her time and again boys are the last thing she needs to worry about but her hormones are raging so we just make sure they only talk on the phone or w/ us as chaperone. Personally, a 15 yr. boy saying that to me would be just lip service & knowing that she just broke up w/ another boy the night before, I would've nipped that in the bud right away. Unfortunately for my daughter, I would of embarrased her but hey, she lives under my roof and we told her she couldn't date until she was 30 anyway!! lol

[deleted account]

It depends on the maturity level of both of the kids. Do they seem on par in that department and do you think the boy will treat your daughter with proper respect. Generally, I would think a 2 year difference is Ok...but each situation needs to be judged on its own merits.

Jeannette - posted on 10/20/2009

911

3

78

omg...this sounds like my middle daughter...one day she's crying over Mikey, the next day, Taylor is the greatest thing since sliced bread! I wouldn't trust the boy...I don't care how honest he seems, I know they put on an act for moms and dads to make us feel more comfortable.

It almost doesnt matter how old he is though. As long as you are set that they aren't going anywhere alone, then who cares.

Twyla - posted on 10/20/2009

48

1

4

i went through the exact same thing, 2 years later they r still together. loking back ,even though they were never alone , i would hav done things differently .

Heather - posted on 10/20/2009

7

25

0

I WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER IS NO LONGER TALKING TO THIS 15 YEAR OLD BOY. HE BROKE UP WITH HER BECAUSE I WOULD NOT LET THEM GO TO THE MOVIES WITHOUT BEING CHAPARONED BY ME AND HER FATHER. OH WELL! SHE IS OK WITH IT. NO LOVE LOSS. SHE IS FOCUSING ON HER STUDIES FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS. THANK GOD!

Lupe - posted on 10/20/2009

6

15

0

13 is just too young for a boyfriend, but if you allowing her to date, then i would say to date the same age, 15 they are in high school and have different stages going on in their lives, in high school you have a different curfew, and different friends, and you dont attend the same school so they are always worried about the other cheating,, with all this on your mind then how do you concentrate on school, i didnt allow my kids to date til high school, and even 15 is too young but i would rather monitor it by knowing.

Jody - posted on 10/20/2009

2

20

0

I feel a year to year and a half either was is a good range. What is a RED FLAP to me in your situation is that he UP FRONT says "he did not want to disrespect you nor will he hurt her" She was vulenorable that evening so she was looking for a selfesteem boost. Guys pick up on that and it usually ends up in an unhealthy relationship. So be carefull!
My daughter is almost fifteen and she has a promise ring of abstanace. I notice she wears it sometimes and I have figured out that when her boyfriend ( he is 14months older than her) presures her sexually she wears it on her necklace.

Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Encourage her to find things without a boyfriend and tell her that the older boy can be her friend first and they you can decide how it should go from there.

Angie - posted on 10/19/2009

2,621

0

406

I think 13 is too young to be dating. My children aren't allowed to date until they are 16 (boys and girls). But if I was letting my 13 year old daughter date, I wouldn't let her date anyone any older than 13.

Kimberly - posted on 10/19/2009

33

34

0

I was raised with a 2 year age limit. of course i married a man 7 years older than me.
do to that experience i think staying close to one's age is a good thing. more in common and learn together.

at 13 I would say keep her in her age group 13 or 14 ...let her know there will be lots more break ups in her life before she gets a good friend

I think I would stress more on how attractive and strong independent educated women are and to make friends of both sexes instead of worrying about the dating scene..she is 13.

my 17 yr old still goes on group dates with friends, it is rare for an alone couple date for her. though she has had a few. she says she wants to get to know the guy in a realistic way with no expectations or awkard situations a girl might not beable to get out of. it is good to see how they are with her friends and to get to know her on a friend level first also. I think she is pretty smart...wish I would have been at that age.

Heather - posted on 10/18/2009

9

17

0

Be careful, don't encourage the relationship but I would be careful on how tou discourage it. You need to be thankfull that she is even talking to you about boys. You want to keep up that line of communication. Before saying to much either way you need to understand what she is looking for from the boy. It may be nothing to begain with. I agree with Kimberly the talk needs to happen if it hasn't already. But keep the talk between you and her do not through in names of guys of interest. Good luck you have communication with her and that is a feat in itself.

Kimberly - posted on 10/17/2009

6

6

0

I would love to live in a world when teenaqers don't date or like the opposite sex until they reach the maqical aqe of 16, but we don't. They qo thru boyfriends like water! The minute you say that you hate them, makes them 100% desirable in their eyes. You have to watch, and very carefully, what thay are doinq. If you allow movie dates, qive a few minutes as a deadline. But the most important thinq, and I know it is a hard thinq that we don't want to talk about, but preqnancy and STD's is huqe. They do know more then we know and more then we think they know. It is hard to be a mother of a teenaqe qirl, but if I keep the lines of communication open, and don't act totally shocked at the thinqs that she tells me, I learn alot more, and I know where she is at. That allows me to not only watch out for my kid but for "friends" kids! At 13, she is qoinq to do the boyfriend thinq, cut her off at the pass, allow it, but on your terms. And stick to them! Best of luck! Teenaqers make us qrey!

Candy - posted on 10/17/2009

13

14

0

IMHO I think 13 is too young to be worried about boys..but that's just me..They have more important things to worry about like school..My 13 year old is boy crazy-but the b/f stuff doesn't fly w/ me..Boys at that age have to many raging hormones running through them-and girls are too willing to please when they are young.

Heather - posted on 10/17/2009

7

25

0

that is what i was thinking too. i have had my heart broken too. this is a self esteem boost also. i will heed your advice. thank you

Kelly - posted on 10/17/2009

3

6

0

Sounds like it's a rebound, she's sorting out her feelings after being rejected. Kids at this age really don't know what they want, just to be accepted. You state that they won't be alone. I would make sure they're at your house anytime they're together. Let her know you respect her enough to make decisions, but at the same time, she needs to know that you're there for guidence and suggestions. I'm the mother of 4 daughters. It's not easy but communication and respect is a MUST in our house!!

Heather - posted on 10/17/2009

7

25

0

thank you, that is very true, that is the way that we feel. i think it is just that age and jr. high and all of the above. i appreciate your response, thanks.

[deleted account]

I always think, during the teenage years, that one year either way is a good suggestion. Any further you have quite a bit of difference in maturity, likes/dislikes, and feeling comfortable being together. Hope this helps.

Joanne - posted on 10/17/2009

4

15

2

our girls have been quite comfortable with not dating until they are sixteen as they were able to handle the pressure of dating much better than at thirteen. Have a discussion with her and bring up waiting for a while until she doesn't feel so devastated when they move on to other people. let her know that she will be broke up with as teens of 13-15 years go through people like crazy.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms