HOW TO DEAL WITH A TEENAGE BOY. HELP.

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Toni - posted on 06/05/2009

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LOL, I am a mother of an 18 yr old and an 11 yr old. My 11 yr old has ADHD, so he is quite the handful. But the general question on how to deal with a teenage boy is an excellent question. There are so many things going on in a teenage boys head. 1. he is trying to figure out how to become a man, hopefully he has a good example to pattern himself after, if he doesn't FIND ONE. 2. He still wants to be momma's little boy, but is too embarrassed to ever admit that, just give him love and hugs whenever he will let you. 3. Sex, yea, sex. Trust me he thinks about it all the time and I mean all the time. This is where that male influence comes in, as mothers we try to understand what they are going thru, but really it's hard. There is so much on a teenagers mind, school, girlfriends, being a man, being a kid, drugs, peer pressure, should I do this, should I do that. The years 13 thru 17 where the hardest for me. So, what worked for me. I never gave up the ropes. I am the mother. Period. It's my way or the highway, and you have to be prepared to back that up. This is my house and you WILL respect my house, if not, then you have to go. Heidi, my son graduates from High School tonight, he starts college in the fall. If you had asked me 1 yr ago if this was going to happen, I would have said "no way". My boys have given me a run for my money, and I don't think they are thru...lol. But, I always, always tell them how much I love them. I take time to love on them, and tell them I am so happy I had them and how proud I am of them. But I don't take any crap, with boys you can't. Stand strong. Stick to your values and morals. Trust me your son will respect you for this. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. My oldest son now talks to me about everything, his fears, his hopes and dreams, his girlfriend, and he even told me when he had sex for the first time. There are a lot of times when I have to bite my tongue and just listen, it's hard, because teenagers are stupid...lol. But, I try to think before I speak to him about his personal/private life, explain how it may affect his future and try and discuss options. But we had to work at getting to this point. I also would suggest reading "Love and Logic", it is a tool that did help me a lot. Good luck and remember he won't be a teenager forever.

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Diane - posted on 10/02/2012

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I need some advice. My son is 17 and doesn't really have too many friends. He never hangs out with anyone other than me. As soon as I get home from work, he is waiting for me so we can go to Walmart or just do some errands. The whole summer went by and all he did was watch tv and hang out with me. And when I get home, he is all over me, hugging and trying to give me a neck rub. As if that makes it ok that he was home all day and made a mess and didn't clean up. My other son, who is 19, was never like that. He has a core group of friends and is always busy. I probably see my older son maybe once a month. Tony, who's 17, is the only one who has lived with me 100% of the time. My older son has only lived with his dad. Is my youngest son a momma's boy. I want him to have his own friends and life and not depend on me for entertainment and companionship. He also can say some things that are inapproriate, referencing my time of the month and that must be why I am in a mood. Anyone else out there experiencing the same thing?

Niranjala - posted on 07/13/2011

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i have a 19 year old son and only son who has given utmost importance to his friends.he can be very rude nasty and use 4 letter words on me if he wants to. he knows we both care for him alot.however my relationship with the father is not a good one.my husband has been a very violent boistrous when it comes to dealing with problems. please advise .





angela

[deleted account]

I dont live with the boys father - we parted 13 years ago and I remarried 11 years ago so my boys have known their step dad since an early age. we have always been fairly strict and their father (who plays an active part in their lives) is a waste of space when it comes to parenting. just scared our 17 year old will resent our discipline and lean towards his useless father

Tamara - posted on 06/08/2009

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i have a 17 yr old too and he has done nothing but tear my heart apart, he lies steals smokes weed does other drugs and has an 8 month old which i didn't approve of at all cause i knew he wasn't ready because he's learning diabled and has mental illness also. I did everything for this boy from being in court, at school when he got in trouble. i'm at the point where i am done because now he's incarcerated and me and my husband r contemplating wheter we leave him there or not. the bail is 200$ and his been there for a wk. His trial is in August so i can't figure out wheter to bail him out or let him learn a tough love lesson, or will he come out despising me and his Dad. Very confused but i do feel peace knowing where he's at. i don't no. i feel not sad but very mad at him. the week before he went to jail he stole our rent money and denied it --called the police on my husband cause my husband wanted a reason a sorry some type of admittance to his guilt, there was nothing he was like a blank slate. i beleive he has alot of resentment towards my husband which legally isn't his father but has been for 17 long yrs. His baby's grdmother told him to call the dept of social services on me and none of it worked. I don't understand the laws cause u can't kick your child out but he can be charged as an adult and he can runaway. Just sad confused and need advice.

Tamara - posted on 06/08/2009

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are u a single mother? Because that can make a big difference sometimes, it seems as if i'm more protective over my boys than my girls. Ihave teenage boys and they have a father and they continued to go down the wrong path/ with 2 parents. So it's really hard for me to give advise with teenage boys. I know we need to be loving but firm which can be hard. i'm sorry if i was of no help but i'm where your at so it feels good to not b alone. good luck Heidi

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Please help. My 17.5 yr old son suddenly announced he wants me to butt out of his life and let him get on with it. He is rubbish with his money, has recently come off weed, hates school with plummeting A-Level predictions, lies, is lazy, thoughtless and has no sense of those around him. How can I stand back and let him get on with it - I think I will go insane with frustration.

[deleted account]

Please be more specific- tell me what is you number one concern? Tell me what one problem you have tried to solve and nothing you tried worked. I have raised three kids- a son, a daughter, and a troubled foster son. All are in their twenties now- I survived but got really good advice from child dev specialists and teenager support group with coach. The things we implemented really worked!

[deleted account]

wow! I have a 17 year old boy, who has is license now for 6 weeks! We talk about everything...........

Heidi - posted on 06/05/2009

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theres no easy answer atall, i have a 15 yr old who has played up for 2 yrs, ive learnt to take each day as a new one and the problems deal with on the day/night then try hard to take the next day as new. dont rise to his response if its bad and take time for you to rest. x

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