How to deal with an 18 year old Daughter teach responsibilities and lacks communication???

Mickie - posted on 05/30/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Lacks responsibility and doesn't come home when suppose to!

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Melody - posted on 05/31/2009

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I'm not sure I could answer this without needing a few questions answered myself. I have a daughter who will be 18 in a few days and of course she thinks she's ready for the world. She's graduated high school, has a job and a dream and she's never dated. In fact she's never done anything outside the family. Never just 'hung out' with friends. She's been a really good if not a bit sheltered girl.
I've tired to make her ready by forcing her to take care of her own stuff financially. Car insurance, gas, cell phone etc. I tried to teach her budgeting and refusing to bail her out when she miss calculated the week's pay. She buys her own gas, licensing, pet food and needed hygiene supplies. But she still seems a bit irresponsible as she carries the attitude, "Mom will take care of it for me"
Short of booting her out of the nest to see if she can fly I'm not sure what else to do.

Tina - posted on 05/31/2009

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I would like the same thing answered. I have two of them. Only they are not 18 yet. My 17 year old is prego and due in October she really needs to learn some responsibility quick.

Toni - posted on 06/05/2009

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As a mother of an 18 yr old I can tell you what I do.....I am the mother, I am the woman who works and pays the bills. I am the woman who brought you in the world, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with your crap....Period. This is my house, you either respect my house or you gotta go...be prepared to back this up. My son knows I will not put up with disrespect, if he wants to talk, great, I love to talk, there are times, I have to bite my tongue and listen. But, I have rules, rules that I put into place to keep him safe. If abiding by those rules is something he just can't do, then he needs to find some place else to live. I know this sounds like I am some horrible mother, but when my boys became teenagers I knew I couldn't let go of the ropes for one second. I tell my boys all the time how much I love them, how proud I am of them, and yes, they have given me a run for my money, and I am pretty sure they are not done...lol. But, I am the boss, I have expectations from them, they have chores, they have responsibilities around the house, if they can't do it, well then, first take away privileges, no cell phones, no dates, no computer, no video games, no TV. See your kids don't want to leave, but they think mom will never kick me out. Well, I can tell you I took my sons key to the house and locked the door when he was 16, I told him, I am done, you wanna act like a big man, go, go and live your life on your rules. He stalked around outside until about 12:30 AM, then started crying at the door for me to let him in. It killed me. I cried watching my boy go thru this. But he had to know I was serious. So, he graduates tonight and starts college in the fall, if you had asked me a yr ago if this was possible, I would have said "no way". So I am really really proud of him. I wish you all the luck in the world, it will not be easy this I promise you. Lots of hugs, lots of love, lots of prayer, stand your ground...Mothers of teenagers Unite...

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Lashondra - posted on 12/16/2013

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I would Like to know as well. I have one that just turned 18 a few days ago and she now feels that she is an adult. No she is not disrespecftul, Her attituse now is different, I do not wan to but her out but what shoulld i do?

Margaret - posted on 06/05/2009

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My son is 19 and since he's been 16, all he is interested in is his friends. He never wants anything to do with the family unless we're planning something really special and it's then he comes around and wants to be inlcuded at the parents expense. He came home whenever he wanted to and I never seen him much. I wish I knew the answers. Most kids aren't even Loyal to their parents. What happend?

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