User - posted on 11/29/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )
I'm not sure quite how to handle our situation because I have different beliefs of what should be done than my husband at times... I have a soon to be 16 year old step-daughter who I believe is living in a fantasy world. She is telling people that she goes to school with that she believes she is pregnant by her 18 year old boyfriend and that they are going to get married on her birthday coming up in January. All of which is a complete fantasy I believe. We gave her a pregnancy test tonight to check and she is not pregnant and insists to us that she hasn't done anything. I just don't understand WHY anyone would want to start a rumor like that about themself.
Here is a little history on the situation: My husband and I began dating not long after his divorce from her mom when she was around 4 years old. Her mother has had NOTHING to do with her during this time, except for a few visits (by few I mean you definitely would only need one hand to count the visits), some phone calls/texts, and occasionally gifts (which by the way would always arrive late... supposedly lost in the mail). My husband and I married when she was about 10 years old. She was the sweetest, loving, caring child. Since the teenage years have hit though, it's like her head is spinning and she has totally changed her dimeaner.
Apparently, now, her biological mother is the best thing in her life, even though she has yet to make an effort to come see her daughter (it's been about 2 or 3 years since she came to visit her). She has said she even wants to go live with her mom which I think was just a manipulation attempt because after my husband spoke with her about it, she said to him "I'll stay if my boyfriend can come back over and my step-mom leaves." My husband and I are still together and the boyfriend is now allowed back over, but it does put such a strain on our relationship... How could it not?!!!
My stepdaughter asked her dad last night if she could go and visit her mom for Christmas. I worry that this would be a mistake, considering her mom is probably telling her anything and everything to try and get her to come stay with her. Heck, her mom is probably telling her that she can bring her boyfriend along and they can stay at her house together for all we know... We have not raised her to be premiscuous, but somehow I feel she is turning out to be just that... Maybe we were wrong in how we have raised her over the years, but hopefully one day she will realize it was only because we loved her so much and didn't want anything bad to happen to her.
Please help... any advice... critical or not... I want to hear what you have to say. Thanks!