How to stay sane with my two kids throwing tantrums on a daily basis?

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Brandy - posted on 07/09/2017

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tantrums are going to happen and i cant stress enough how normal it is to get overwhelmed at times and i think if more women would be more open to admitting that they get stressed out there wouldnt be as many cases where they break down and harm or neglect their child or children. i will be the first to say that ive had my moments where ive had to put my 3 year old in his room and my 8 month old in her crib just to get minutes of quiet to pull myself back together and gather my thoughts. it will never help the situation if you are upset too, when youre calm its easier to calm a child. you could possibly set up a schedual of activities thru out the day or a reward chart... google some ideas on reward charts, they work pretty well, i had to do it with my two older boys because they would constantly fight. for instance if your child likes to color have the reward be that if theyre good for a number of days you take thenm to get a new coloring book... and ect... it doesnt all have to be about punishment let them know they will benifit from being good.

Teresa - posted on 01/13/2015

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Hi Chrystal, tantrums can be exhausting for both parent and child ! unfortunately its a stage of development most young toddlers/children go through, its a way of communicating their frustration and emotions, that they are unable to deal with or share.

hope these help keep you sane!

1/ If you can see a tantrum is about to happen try distracting them with something, bring up the level of your voice so it sounds exciting, and they have to listen to you.

2/ Create a 'safe area' where if the tantrum is unavoidable you can 'place ' them there until they are calm, enough to talk,a small corner of the room with big cushions should do it. Don't get this mixed up with 'time out' space, you should make it clear that the 'cushions are there to go to when they feel upset, or angry and they cannot tell mummy or daddy what they want straight away. Always sit with them after the tantrum in the 'safe place' so that when the tantrum is over you can calmly ask them why they were so upset, and help them to resolve it, give lots of hugs and reassurance. As they get older they can place them selves in the 'safe place', and when they are ready ask to talk to you about it.

Ignore the little tantrums over not sharing and arguing over toys, children need to problem solve for themselves unless they are physically hurting either themselves or friends, try ignoring heir behaviour and see if they can resolve them, always give them positive reassurance if they do resolve their issue or stop their tantrum them selves, 'Oh my goodness how good you are to share that toy and not get up set'

Its ok to walk away if its to much! Just make sure there not anywhere they can hurt themselves or any one else, and go and find your own ;safe place' .

Talk to your child at the end of the day when perhaps you reading to them a bed time story ,if it has been a typically difficult day with lots of tantrums, something like, today we had fun doing this and that, but sometimes you were very upset and angry ,can you remember , and tell me why? again try and help your child resolve it, so eventually they learn that they can easily communicate to you instead of having tantrums.

Time out after a bad day for parents is important, and it's ok to say that the day with my children was not fun! not every day is going to be. Importantly remember you are watching your child develop and grow and learn in a healthy happy environment which encourages your child to express their emotions and feeling to you.

IT WILL GET EASIER PROMISE! Teresa

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Lisa - posted on 10/10/2014

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Hi
I work in a nursery part time and there are days when a few children will tantrum or scream or just be having off days. It is important to remember that you are seperate from them, so even if they are cross or upset you don't need to be. You can decide to be happy and think of the things your grateful for this can help.
When you do feel like you at breaking point well actually don't let it get that far, when your feeling like you've had enough of their noise then give yourself some time even if you just have a few moments in the toilet. To refocus and take some deep breaths.
hope that has been of help? Also please visit www.believeability.org.uk it is a website about parenting with the power of beliefs.

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