I am struggling to get my daughter how important it is to stay clean

Leslie - posted on 09/24/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am a Mom 2 teenagers,but my daughter is now adult,but her mind and age level is really low,I am struggling to get her to understand that we must stay clean and you can get sick from not staying clean poperly,I have sometimes gone without saying one word to her and she will not take the time to clean up or wash,so then I have to get harsh with her and she feels like Im being mean,but I'm not,she says she don't like it when family members says things to her and I told her time and time if you don't want to hear this then you need to do something about it and if she did the family would stop.We well go out in public and she don't even care how she looks or if her hair is comb,her body order is bad,and when you tell her she has attitude or she denies it's not her.it was easy when she was little cause I always kept her clean but once she got alot older that motherly caring to keep your child clean stops its time for them to be independent to this themself but not with her though,and I don't get it,I have to tell her at her age to get a shower get cleaned up brush your teeth and she just gets so frustrated and gets mad cause she has to do this,I don't have no problem with my son staying clean,he can't stand being dirty.im fit to be tied on this with my daughter who is about to be 19 years old here in few months...any suggestions on what I can do get her to understand keeping clean is important.

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Sue - posted on 09/24/2009

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My daughter is thirteen and has the same problem. She has to be reminded to shower etc. and it is frustrating. I've been told at my daughter's age it is a normal for your teenager not to want to do these things.



I've been given much advice but i think my daughter will be more motivated once she's old enough to date.



Perhaps your daughter is not doing it because she is in a power struggle with you or someone else. Sometimes people just do it because they are lectured about it. Self care is very important and is sometimes let go of with depression...is this a possibility?



Maybe your daughter likes to have people comment on her appearance because it makes her feel noticed?



Lots of questions......I would ask her why she likes to be that way......in a caring interesting way. She may feel less defensive and open up more. Maybe she has a body image issue?



Anyway...good luck and I hope this helps to get the conversation started again.

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