Courtney - posted on 06/20/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
I needed help with my boyfriend's mom and knowing how to react to her behavior. I know this site is for moms but I needed some motherly advice. I talked to my own mom but she just turned me away and I don't discuss with her any longer.
I'm 20. My boyfriend is 21. We've been together for 16 months. He is my first serious boyfriend and was even my first kiss just last year. Everything hasn't been perfect ofcourse but we do respect each other and love each other. We're both in colleges 20 minutes from each other so this has had constraints on the amount of time during the weeks and months we get time together. All in all we do the best we can and are happy together.
My boyfriend's parents are getting a divorce. From what he's told me it's been prolonged for more than 15 years. I met his dad once and saw him once more. That was the last time, he never comes home, only every few weeks then leaves for weeks. He has another adult son who is my boyfriend's half brother but they don't seem to be very close. His 19 year old sister is nice and lives at home when not at college.
The only person that seems to be having any outward issues consistently is his mom. He's said that she ignores people on purpose, loves shopping and hair, doesn't like quiet people (I can be quiet but am polite and respectful. My parents raised me well to treat others with respect) and belittles his opinions and is very reliant on him.
I can see that and it's in the way that he's HER husband and his sister's dad. She's implied I was ugly (on the first meeting with her), is extremely defensive, talks over me, ignores me when I ask a question but answers later when talking to her son or daughter, and has made snide remarks about my boyfriend being a cheater and a coward, our relationship and that i'm his "little girlfriend", and worst of all my parents. She's never met them and it makes me angry because my parents have been kind, generous and thoughtful to my boyfriend.
I am always respectful to her and never say anything mean back. But it makes me feel like protecting myself and not being around her. His family is ok but she's the one that makes me feel unsafe and even judged.
What to do?