Jane - posted on 12/06/2008 ( 17 moms have responded )
Six months ago I thought I was so lucky to have a teenage daughter that I got on so well with.
I trusted her in all ways etc but that has all changed in the last couple of months.
She is only 13 & I got a call for me to go to her school to have the news broken to me that she thought she was pregnant! I was so shocked at the time I just didn't know which way to turn, especially as she hardly ever went out & certainly wasn't the sort of child that was out roaming the streets until all hours, so as you can imagine, I just didn't see this coming at all.
As if this wasn't a shock & bad enough, it just gets worse.
Thankfully, she wasn't pregnant but has obviously been behaving in such a way to think that she could be.
Two days later, I get another call from her school.
Could I please go & remove her from the school as she was drunk!
I just didn't believe what I was hearing but it did explain where the bottle of wine had gone (that I had treated myself to the previous evening but not opened) out of the fridge.
Once again, I was mortified by her behaviour & it turns out she was really upset about not being pregnant & thought she would dull the pain by stealing the wine & taking it to school!
This is a child that doesn't do anything to help around the house unless she is forced to & can't even pick up a wet bath towel off the floor behind herself so how on earth she thought she could look after a baby is totally beyond me.
Everything has just gone downhill from there really. Never a day goes by now when she isn't in trouble at school for either bunking off of lessons or when she does bother to go into a lesson, when she has had enough or is asked to actually do any work, she just gets up & walks out. After yet another meeting with her year head last week (which she got up & walked out of half way through then was missing until about 8pm that night, after which she turned up at her Dad's house) she is so, so close to being excluded which I think will just make matters worse but on the plus side, at least I would know where she was at all times so she couldn't be smoking & drinking & stealing etc.
I can never believe anything she says anymore as its all just lies anyway. She has lied to me so much recently I feel devastated to be honest.
And its not just the lying, she thinks nothing of stealing which really hurts me as one thing I just cannot tolerate is people who steal.
I feel like she just has no respect for me or anyone else at the moment & I really don't know how to deal with it.
I have tried the nice approach & talked to her, I have taken her mobile phone off of her & the tv etc out of her bedroom but she really doesn't seem to care which is heartbreaking as she just hasn't been bought up to lie & steal without even thinking about it like she does.
I can't ever leave any money anywhere around the house, it has to be kept in a locked tin & I have to make sure I have the keys on me at all times.
It really feels like I'm living in my own home with a total stranger who cannot be trusted at all & its really not pleasant.
She has now started spending a lot of time around her Dad's house (who she didn't speak to or see for nearly a year & said she didn't want anything more to do with him) & even that hurts as Ive always been there for her & like I mentioned earlier, we used to get along so well & it feels like she is just throwing everything back in my face & behaving like a spoilt brat to be honest.
Anyway, if anyone is having the same sort of problems with their teenager behaving like someone you don't know at all or can just offer any advice as to how is the best approach for dealing with all this then I really would be grateful as it's tearing me apart & I feel like I have failed her in some way to have made her lose all respect & be so hostile towards me now.