Marty - posted on 04/26/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
My daughter has been progressively rebelling since I left my ex-husband in 2008. She started becoming violent when she was 12 and hit me for the first time when she was 13. Eventually she was charged with assault at 14, probation for 6 months and community service. That was a joke to her. She became sexually active at 14 with a random boy, NOT a boyfriend, since then, she is proud to say she has slept with 9 boys.
I have taken her to therapy, she has been on multiple medications, we have even had her involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility twice. I have had to lock down my home, including a lock on my bedroom door. She takes random things, and we have found jewelry missing as well. We can not even leave food, such as snacks laying around, she eats everything, and no I am not being a stingy mom, but I feel 10 ice cream bars in one sitting to be excessive. We find hidden food boxes and wrappers hidden in her room as well.
She has no access to any social media, we had to lock computers with passwords. She was using the sites to contact random men, post pictures that were much to mature for teens, and bullying. She is OBSESSED with her cell phone. We have taken it away, cut off service, and the other day, we let her use it while I was at work, only with incoming calls, and she has now broken the iphone and supposedly thrown it away because if she can't have it no one will.
My daughter has cut her wrists twice, pierced her own ears and lips. My final straw has been a tongue piercing. I took her to the therapist yesterday, she kept talking funny and the therapist asked her to stick out her tongue and there it was! She pierced it herself with a needle! She was just released from the psychiatric facility on Friday, they took her off medication, and this is what I am dealing with.
I have taken her to her therapist and psychiatrist, both have no resolution. We are now going to begin intense home therapy, but I am not sure how much more I can take. The verbal abuse, lack of self respect, and no respect for adults has taken its toll. We have to argue with her to bathe, do laundry, and clean room. I have been battling this for four years and my relationships with family and my fiance are suffering to the point I may be alone soon.
Her father is an alcoholic and marijuana user, his wife and him are unemployed. They offered to take her, but after 3 days on two separate occasions, they called and gave her back. Her aunt on my side of the family offered to take her, but she has a 26 year old handicapped child herself. Easter weekend she came to visit, my daughter was staying with my 70 year old mother, and after 3 days again, I was getting a call to come get her. She had left with a 26 year old man and a 19 year old stripper, only to return home the next day with a car load of different boys. The police were called and she was reported as a runaway.
My mother, again 70, wants her and has went to children services to try and get her. My mother tells her that I do not want her. There is nothing children services can do, I work 2 jobs due to expenses incurred because of this. We live with my fiance, and have since 2009, he is a police officer and works security on the side. We are upstanding members of the community and this has taken its toll on our relationship. Our lives revolve around every aspect of this child. She cannot be left alone, she has no friends to hang out with, will not attempt to get a job and is doing horrible in school.
I would love to be able to let her go and come like a "normal" teen, but I do not think that will ever happen. Any suggestions?