If your son got someone pregnant

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2013

I'm so sorry your family is going through such a hard time.
There's no going back-the baby is on its way.
There are several options you have. The first is he can be made to pay child support through the court. Or your daughter can leave him off of the birth certificate and he has no rights to the baby at all.
We as a society need to talk to our kids about sex and safe sex and the consequences of having a baby so young.
I hope all goes well for you and your family!

Laurie - posted on 02/19/2013

Wow!! This exact situation happened to me, when I was 17!! You brought back such memories!! But with my "boyfriend", One minute he wanted to go get married,...then he didn't want to be with Me,...then he wanted the baby, and not me, then he wanted me,..and no baby!!....Eventually He was not there at all! I had my baby, just before I turned 18,...with MY family at my side,..they were not all that happy,...but when MY DAUGHTER came out,...My entire family, and friends were right by my side!!
That "boyfriend" started dating another girl, while I was pregnant, ended up marrying her,..and they had 3 children of their own!! HE, only saw my baby once, when she was 3 months old,..because we happen to run into each other at the local mall! His parents whom I thought were the greatest people,...shunned me!! HE,...(the boyfriend) got in touch with us, when my daughter was almost 21!! He spent some time with her,...SHE thought he was the greatest!! (back track,...I always told her of her daddy) But once again,...HE LEFT HER!! HIS wife said,.."you pick your first daughter, or you chose the three children we have!!" My daughter has never seen him since!! It's a sad story!!
But today,...I can say, My daughter, is married,..has two children and doing well!! In fact, I had three more children,...and now 6 grandkids!! TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS!!

Cindy - posted on 02/19/2013

Terminate his rights or else make him pony up. Period.

Apryl - posted on 02/19/2013

Having two kids young from a guy who wanted them initially but then flaked when we divorced and hasnt seen them or supported them for 12 years. Let him go. Child support can be established later but do you really want him, hos random girlfriends or new wife and especially his parents who don't even care what happens to their grandchild in this childs life. Your daughter will do fine. You're not going to let that baby starve so let her grow up and meet a guy wh o wants to adopt this sweet babu as his own and then they can live happily ever after without fghting over a kid or worrying about the child when she HAS to give up a small baby for weekend visits in an unsafe or less than desireable place with dad. I personally wouldn't even put his name on the birth certificate.

Mary Ellen - posted on 02/19/2013

You see, Barbara you didn't want to get into a heated debate with me - but you did.
I am not passing judgement - but I am - just like you - entitled to my opinion. I don't care really if you disagree or agree with me. That is not the point. My hope is that people will understand that while their own experiences may have been good ones - that this is not the case with the majority of teenage pregnant girls. Everybody is defending her right to have the baby, and to demand support. What I am saying is: look at the statistics, that's all. I am happy that you were able to adopt a child and give it a proper home. Maybe Lisa's daughter should consider giving up her child for adoption. I know that would make me feel a little better.

Barbara - posted on 02/19/2013

No, I'm not 'defending' any issue. Teen pregnancy is a huge problem that needs solutions other than termination of an unplanned pregnancy. Parent's need to take the necessary steps with their pre-teen daughters from fourth or fifth grade up. My daughter knows she was the result of an unplanned pregnancy, she wouldn't even entertain the idea of having intercourse because she KNOWS first hand the fallout of this risky behavior. But I didn't focus solely on the pregnancy issue, there are diseases that are only transmittable by bodily fluids and I don't want her life shortened because of any of them. Health, maturity, responsible parenting and adequate, age-appropriate education from the earliest possible time (before menses begins or at the first sign of puberty). My daughter has known 'good touch, bad touch' since before she was in kindergarten, and this is not to claim that intercourse is bad, just trying to protect my young child at the time. She knows now, at 15, at least three of her classmates who ARE pregnant, knows why they are pregnant and thinks they are stupid for letting some guy (who dumped them the second they got pregnant) get away with it. I've said all I can on this subject, and yes, as a single parent, our situation did turn out well for both of us, but it hasn't been easy to raise a child from birth (my husband was killed in an auto accident just before our adoption finalized). We've had many ups and downs along the path, but we are both better people for it and have come through, worn and scarred a little, but we've come through TOGETHER.

Mary Ellen - posted on 02/19/2013

I am very happy that an otherwise desperate situation turned out favorably for you. You are fortunate, I think. But you are still "defending " the issue. Yes, teens are having sex more readily now than ever! Which is precisely why we have to teach them that instead of putting our daughters on the "pill" (yes, I cannot believe the stupidity of some mothers) we need to tell them that while sex may be "natural" there is a dark side to it, and that side is something they don't want to experience. FYI I had sex for the first time when I was 18, and didn't have my first child until I was 39. But I do remember thinking I was pregnant in college and I thought if I am - I am terminating it. I don't believe in abortion as a means of birth control - not at all - but I am not a religious fanatic either, and feel that since we do have the technology to terminate unwanted pregnancies (for whatever reason) safely and privately, we should do it. Look how many women suffered before us, and lost their lives because they tried to terminate their pregnancies in warehouses with unlicensed practitioners. Not everybody's story is going to have your happy ending...

Robyn - posted on 02/19/2013

Wow did not notice how old this was. It came in an email today.

Barbara - posted on 02/19/2013

Mary Ellen,
I have no desire to get into a heated or protracted dispute with you or anyone else here, but, in answer to your question, yes, I do read the newspapers. Many people, me included, feel that abortion is not the appropriate response to any pregnancy and people may hold that belief due to religious or moral beliefs that may not agree with yours. I don't believe anyone has the right to judge or pass judgement 'get real' messages or any one here, or on the behavior of the kids involved or the philosophies of the parents who come to this site as a parenting resource. Messages are posted based on the individual's perception of the situation, moral, philosophical, and religious beliefs and I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks about it.

As for the 'bastard child' remark, that was absolutely uncalled for. A baby is a baby.
I adopted my daughter 15+ years ago and she was what you would call a 'bastard child' that I loved then and love even more now, I wanted her then and want her even more now, and still try to help her grow and learn. I'm done here if this is the nature of the posts this thread is going to follow.

Robyn - posted on 02/19/2013

No one other than the people's involved opinion matters. Shoulda woulda coulda does not matter. Hindsight is always 20/20. All that matters now is that your daughter and her baby are taken care of. She did not get herself pregnant. He is equally responsible for this child even if all you can get is court mandated child support. His parents have zero say on any of this as he is an adult. If he won't man up then make him. With the proper support from family and friends she can be a great mom and still become successful. No one said she wasn't going to college. It is just things will need to be reorganized to ensure she can be her best. No one has the right to pass judgment on her. She needs to be shown this is just another rocky step in her path on life not the end of it. Help her fight for what she needs despite what she is being told she will get. Show her what a mom is all about.

Candace - posted on 02/19/2013

I understand where you are coming from, and I didn't have a strong support system. In fact my Mother & I were estranged at the time, which in turn made my father & I the same. I did it all on my own. I didn't have the skills or knowledge, but I realized it was mostly instinct. I was naive, over-protected & thrown out into the world at 17 to fend for myself with absolutely no help or street smarts. Luckily I am intelligent & was able to figure out how to survive, with quite a few mistakes, mostly with character of others. I don't believe in abortion & I know many other people don't either. I completely agree that I was a better parent at 24& 27, then at 20, however my son turned out wonderful. I made a few mistakes at first, but turned it around quickly.
Truth is kids are having sex. They always have & are more often now from listening to my kids. It doesn't matter what we teach them, what our religious beliefs are, it happens. None of us can control our children 100%. I hope that me being more open with my kids about these subjects & my past & keeping as close with them as I am now in the future is the key to their success. BTW, how many people lost their virginity during their teenage years? Or before they married? I was 15 & not married my first time.
She can't go back & change the past, all she can do is move forward the best she can. I am willing to help through my own experiences the best I can.

Mary Ellen - posted on 02/19/2013

Candace, my aim was not to offend anyone, but rather to put a different face on it, if you can understand. Did you happen to watch Lisa Ling's America where in this particular episode she interviews young girls who ...are pregnant and decide to go ahead with their pregnancies. Not all of these young women have the support system you had and what Lisa hopes to provide for her daughter. This is not really an individual case by case issue, but rather something that needs to be addressed with the seriousness of texting while driving. You know? Because not only is this young girl's life going to be put on hold - at least for the next 10 years, but this situation affects a lot of other people, too. The bottom line is we are talking about underdeveloped minds here. I don't know about anyone else but even the brightest kid at 17 doesn't have a clue about being a parent, let alone have the resources to raise a child. It's just not normal or "special" for babies to be brought into the world as the result of teen experimentation, AND at the expense of everybody's future.

Candace - posted on 02/19/2013

First off, your daughter will be fine without him physically. It will be a struggle, but I am sure she is strong & seems she has a good support system. Your grandchild will be just fine too. I went through the same thing. Although I was 20 & separated. However, financially, no matter what HE IS responsible & she will more than likely take on the full financial, physical & emotional burden, but it is not only a burden, it is also a blessing. I don't know where I would have ended up if I hadn't had my son with my rebellious personality at that time. (btw, I was way over protected)
As far as the other family, well, it's their loss. It's that simple. He will still be help financially responsible & it will more than likely end up being a pointless battle with that family for many years to come. I am sorry to say that, but if they are reacting this way now, then it's coming.
My son is now 15 & has no interest in his father. He is happy & healthy. Yes, I struggled, but not because of him, but the choices I made afterwards to find him a good father. I was too determined & chose wrong. Now my daughters dislike their father too. So help her by not being forceful or "forbidding" her in any way & to make good decisions.
As far as having sex at such a young age, it happens Mary Ellen. Regardless of whether you get married young or not. I was married (way too young I might add, 18) & had my son at 20, (pregnancy at 19). There is no place for judgment here. EVERY CHILD IS A GIFT FROM GOD & A BLESSING & GOD GAVE HER THIS CHILD. I do not believe in accidents, maybe a bad decision that lead to the child coming earlier than planned, but a blessing non the less.
Good luck, many prayers & message me if you need any advice for her or yourself. I've been there, been through a lot in fact, so much I couldn't even begin to share. More than likely I can help with anything you have questions about.

Mary Ellen - posted on 02/19/2013

I can't believe some of the stuff I am reading., Do you all live near the Banana Belt? First off, you are talking about pregnancy and the making of a child like the kids knew what they were doing, and how they have to stand up and acknowledge...blah blah blah. These are children we are discussing. Their ability to have sex is the same as urinating. It is a bodily function that has little to no consequence and yes, they should be responsible - by not having sex in the first place! Gift from God? Are you serious, lady? There are already too many people in the world, and now we are going to let our 17 year olds ruin their lives by becoming unfit parents, with no recourse but to go on welfare, miss out on going to college, getting married, traveling? All so they can stay at home to care for another bastard child that nobody wanted? Good Luck! You people need to get real. Don't you read the newspapers?

Mary Ellen - posted on 02/19/2013

Sorry to say this now, at this point - but (and I know this could happen to me) you really should have stressed the "no sex" rule until they understand what could happen.. Also, and I hate to say this with all of the anti abortion controversy in the air all the time - but I would have taken my daughter for an abortion and then taken her for visits to girls who had their babies, and show her what her life would be like. First and foremost, I would watch my daughter like a hawk, when it came to who she was hanging out with, and I would tell her every single day, that if she has sex she could get pregnant, and that she herself is just a baby.. Prevention is the best cure.. As far as the boy goes, of course he is also to blame but in our society it is the girl who has to bear the responsibility, the shame, and the baby. As the parent of the boy I would have asked them to terminate the pregnancy for everyone's sake.

Chalea - posted on 02/19/2013

You can initiate the legal process of proving paternity. contact an attorney. His parents think it will ruin his life? what about the life of his child? And your daughter? Protect them both...his parents are trying to do that so take action as well. It won't ensure that he will be a real father and be involved, but at the same time you may not want him around, at least he will be taking care of his responsibility...financially. It's his loss and unfortunately the child is the one who ultimately suffers. It will be difficult for your daughter but she can fulfill her education and make a life for her child.

Louise - posted on 02/19/2013

take him for child support, if the he and the family are like that who needs them. He is an adult, he should act like one. My son just thought he got someone pregnant and he was making plans on how to take care of the baby, it was a false alarm, but the point is if he was worth his salt he would be there and not listening to his parents

Suzy - posted on 02/18/2013

As the mother of a 21 year old girl and Grandmother to a beautiful 16 month old girl if this had happened when my daughter got pregnant I would simply have stated that he was man enough to help create the baby, if need be he will be forced to man up to his responsibilities financially. As far as seeing the baby, that is his choice and his parents choice. If they chose not to take advantage of that it is their loss. Unfortunately when that child grows up he or she will have questions about their father and his family, that will require thought and love to answer.

Laura - posted on 02/18/2013

That is very sad to say the least. The parents are going to be missing out on a grand child and in the end (the very end of their lives) they will regret their decision. I too would support my son if he got a girl pregnant.

Barbara - posted on 02/18/2013

Seems to me this is a fault of his parents. If he is old enough to impregnate the girl, they should be forcing him to step up, get a job and help pay child support. If they really don't want this to 'ruin his life' let them chip in too. The double standard for girls and guys when it comes to teen pregnancy is just infuriating. I'd make sure, legally if necessary by getting a paternity test and forcing child support on him via the courts system so the DAUGHTER's life isn't ruined as well. I'm sorry if I'm a hard nosed b... on this one, but too many girls have gone down this path only to be dumped in the end by the guy who wanted her to 'do it' and then walked away when she got pregnant. He's dumb - she's dumber - they both need to step up and take responsibility for their 'unprotected' actions and get real. Poor baby won't have a chance unless his/her teenager parents get some sense. There are condoms for the guy and the teen girls who are sexually active need to get birth control of some kind to prevent pregnancy at least. In the end, it's the baby who will really suffer, one parent who doesn't even want it and another who is too immature to raise it (didn't use protection is my evidence for lack of maturity on both parts).

Cindi - posted on 02/18/2013

I am so sorry that the young man does not have his parents encouraging him to step up to the plate and take responsibility for the child he has helped create.It certainly does mean that he will be missing out.I have raised my own son to know what responsibilities he will have should he help produce a child-your 17 yr old sounds like a smart young lady with great parents.

Deanna - posted on 02/18/2013

You can't force someone to be a parent when they don't want to be one. What you can do, is get him to sign papers that he wants nothing to do with the child. Your daughter would not get child support, but he can not come back later and demand the child to live with him.
By forcing him to be a parent, he may take it out on the child or your daughter. If your daughter was going to raise the child on her own before the father found out, she can still do it.
This is a tough situation. I have 2 cousins who are going through this. Although both of the kids are 3 years old now, the Mom's are both doing amazing jobs without the fathers. One is even getting ready for baby number 2 with a great guy.

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2013

My son is 21 and his girlfriend is 19. We have a BEAUTIFUL baby girl 4 months old. She, mommy, works, graduated high school, STILL works and GOES to college. My son works everyday, and they BOTH support Sabreyann. I always taught both my boys to respect women, and IF they got a girl preg. then they WOULD take care of that baby. Guess my teachings worked, bc he is an EXCELLENT daddy and she is an amazing mommy. Good luck with everything, but make sure he does his part. If not, child support enforcement will make him pay. Prayers for you all.

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2013

WOW Court order a perturnity test and make the boy pay for this child he made . His parents are a great example of what type of boys we are raising no collage degree can teach humanity ans reasponsability to you obligations . This child is a life and deservers so much too and more . You watch when the baby is born cause these type of people can become very toxic . I am sad for the baby because of grandparents disowning a innocent child before she is born .

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2013

If he helped make the baby then he needs to take care of the baby. Take him to court even if he doesnt want anything to do with it. A child is a gift from GOD, and we as people, humans, have the responsibility to care that child when we are blessed with one.

Char - posted on 02/17/2013

They know that the documents you talk of likely could not be enforced down the road. Your daughter may not be able to count on support now, but be having him acknowledged as the dad, she may be able to get assistance down the road. My son's have too much self-respect to even CONSIDER walking away if they were in a situation like this.

Char - posted on 02/17/2013

He shouldn't have an option. He fathered a child. PERIOD. I would make certain that he is legally recognized as the father and that he is responsible. I have four sons (ages 19, 22, 22 and 28) and two daughters (ages 24 and 26.)

Dawn - posted on 02/17/2013

If he has not been made aware that having unprotected sex leads to pregnancy then clearly he is not ready for college! What are his parents teaching him? That its ok to get someone knocked up and not to have any responsibility towards his actions? To ignore the problem?
Wow!!!
If this was my situation, I would not tolerate this and make them suffer!
Your daughter has more back bones then this so called man of hers!

Denise - posted on 02/17/2013

As a mother of 2 teenage sons, my husband and I are teaching them that if they get some girl pregnant, that they would have to get a job and help to take care of the child. If they are old enough to have sex with some girl, then they are old enough to get a job and become a man. I think the saying goes, any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy. Let your daughter know that she does not need his help to take care of her child and if he wants to be that way, then she needs to try to get him for child support. I believe that he helped to create the child, he needs to help take care of the child.

Tanya - posted on 02/17/2013

My son would be helping in every way possible. Not OK to just leave it up to the mother.

Kara - posted on 02/17/2013

So it is okay for it to "Ruin" your daughter's life, but not his huh? Sounds like his parents are real winners! They can say not to expect support all they want to.. but you local Department of Human resources will see it differently.. they do not like father's who don't pay support at all, and I would not LET him get away with not paying anything!! Too many men already get away with that... they BOTH made that baby and even if he is not ready to be a father, he needs to be ready to support the child. Good luck with everything, it sounds like you are going to be a wonderful grandparent and your daughter is lucky to have you!!

Pauline - posted on 02/17/2013

I have four boys and told all of them that if they got a girl pregnant they would be responsible for that child for the rest of their lives. Just because the girl carries the babe does not negate the responsibility they have for the decision they made that would bring a baby into the world. It takes two to make a baby and therefore two to be responsible for that child's well being. I am sorry that his parents don't see that or what they will be missing out on as well as not instilling this basic but important meaning into their own child's life.

Maria - posted on 02/17/2013

I think he should take respossibility for the child. He should of thought about that before. It takes 2. If it was me I would be taking him to court. He is an adult. His parents have no say.

Atina - posted on 02/17/2013

I think they are idiots. This is a beautiful young lady who obviously loves their son and a wonderful baby is on its way. They are unworthy of the gifts.
I have two sons one is 19 and the other is 16 and I would never allow either of them to turn on their obligations or I would turn on them! Having and raising a child is hard but would never ruin a life. They are selfish, it isn't about them. It's about the new baby :)
I think your and your daughter should take a deep breath and know that her love and yours will be the perfect fit for the baby and as soon as the baby is born go after him for child support. And know that if they do not change their minds regarding her and the baby that you are blessed to not have them in your lives. Bless you both, although it may not seem like it now but I believe things are going to be ok for all of you.

Tammy - posted on 02/17/2013

Lisa, My son was 19, his then girlfriend of 4 years was 18 when she became pregnant. The baby was born shortly after their 20th & 19th birthdays. I will not lie and say I was initially happy because of their age and the fact I knew they could not support the baby on their own. I was also raising my granddaughter due to her parents being deceased so it was alot to take in. BUT there was NEVER any hesitation that I would do anything and everything I could do to help them because this baby would also be my grandchild. Period. And you just do not turn your back on family. I have loved the mommy of this baby for 5 years now and have a great relationship with her. I also made it a practice not to intefere with their relationship but if my son was in the wrong, I did not side with him either! I was privileged to be asked to be in the delivery room to see my granddaughter born, somthing I didnt get to do with my 1st granddaughter..and I fell in love with her immediately. My son and her are no longer a couple.. But I am very much in the baby's life, she will be 1 next month. I babysit her most days while her mommy works, and she spends the night with me. I am honored that her mommy trusts me completely with this precious little girl. My son also is in college and does not have a job BUT I do financially contribute twice a month to the mother, and I make sure I have the necessary baby items here at the house so that she never has to worry about supplying anything when the baby is here. That baby girl is the joy of my day when I am with her ♥

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2013

I think it's interesting that this young man had the balls to have sex with a minor, but doesn't have the balls to stand up to his parents and do the right thing!! It sounds like he was willing to stand by your daughter until his parents found out about the pregnancy. I was raised by a single Mom . My bio father wanted nothing to do with her or me. I never saw him once in my life. He paid court ordered child support and health insurance. I was better off without at type of father figure in my life. Your daughter and grandchild will be fine, but don't let this guys parents dictate the financial support this child is legally entitled to. Good Luck! It won't be fun, but he needs to be held responsible, financially at thievery least.

Katrina - posted on 02/17/2013

I would also mention to the parents.. that statutory rape can and will be used if needed. Bet the turn that attitude around quickly.

Katrina - posted on 02/17/2013

first of all.. he is financially obligated to the baby, regardless of his parents thoughts on it. You need to be getting a hold of a lawyer first to find out your daughters rights and the baby's rights.. if he wants nothing to do with the baby.. then i would not push it. It would be better for the baby to be raised by people who love and want them. It would damage the baby to be around people who resent him/her. I would let him know you will be seeking child support but other than that.. he is free to walk away and do everything you can to help your daughter through this. Having been a teenage mom.. i can say from experience, your actions will help or hurt her more than his family.

Daniella - posted on 02/17/2013

Sadly, your daughter didn't get pregnant by herself, she had some help. Apparently his parents are the run from responsbility type, which does not help your daughter or grandchild. It seems to me they are forcing your hand, and by that I say take the father to court to force child support because without a court order the system can't help her get the assistance she needs such as WIC, medicaid, or food stamps. It may seem cruel to go this route but your grandchild is the one who will suffer without the asssitance.
Apparently he didn't think about ruining her life when he got her pregnant. This isn't about his life or your daughter's life its about what'sbest for your grandchild.
I too have a son and remind him of his responsbility should this happen to him along with remindng my daughter of the same fact. I hope things work out for your daughter and grandbaby! Good Luck

Lillian - posted on 02/17/2013

It's sad that this happens too often. I would encourage your daughter to establish paternity as soon as THEIR baby arrives. Sometimes, it takes the proof to make people come around. I pray that the paternal grandparents as well as the father, have a change of heart. God bless you and continue to support your daughter!

Lindsey - posted on 02/17/2013

I'd make my son stand by his child and he knows it and has known it since before it was ever going to be a possibility. I'd also stand by both kids. It's not just their son shirking his responsibilities as the childs father but also them as grandparents.

Bernadette - posted on 02/17/2013

He is old enought to have sex he is old to be a dady. This is real life not childish thay knew what they were doing under the sheets would cause a baby. Time to pay up!

Dee Dee - posted on 02/17/2013

omg , 494 comments.
I don't know if anyone would read my comment. anyway, here it is.
I don't have any son, so this will never happen to me. however, if it does happen to me, this is what I would do.....
1. buy something she like and visit her...
2. make sure she has vatamin, food and medical insurance and doctor for her and baby.
3. ask her if she need any help.
4. offer her help just like they are married, if she want me to. or else, I will stay away.
5. help my son to accept the reality that he has a son. get marry to build a family or stay responsible as much he can as a father. Loves comes many way and shapes.

MaryLou - posted on 02/17/2013

Start by getting a court ordered Paternity test. When the baby arrives, go for child support. He helped make that baby-he can help look after it. If he and his parents chose not to have anything to do with it, so be it. That is something they will have to live with and have deal with facing that child later, years down the road. you need to do this.

Karen - posted on 02/17/2013

Hmm, is the time stamp correct on this.? This came in me email today... bit did this thread really start in 2010?!! If so, recent posts really don't help now do they? Lol

Karen - posted on 02/17/2013

Regardless if he wants to help or not, child support is not an option but a requirement! She didn't get pregnant by herself and she shouldn't have to carry the finances by herself either. One day when he grows up, (clearly he's still immature) perhaps he will want to be in the child's life. Don't force that. The child and your daughter would only siffer if he participated unwillingly. But demand he steps forward w/ child support. Perhaps he will think twice before getting or leaving some girl the same situation he helped get your daughter in, in the future. If he is held accountable for his actions. Ruin his life? Certainly not. Change it perhaps... but he should have considered the responsibility of sex and being an adult before pretending he was one. Best wishes!

Rana - posted on 02/17/2013

Uh no! We told my older boys that if they were old enough for sex they were old enough to man-up and take responsibility. The fact that he is 18+ he will have no choice if your daughter wants to take him to court. That is what's wrong with this world is parents want to be their kids buddy instead of stting boundries and making them accept responsibility for their actions. I'd leave the parents out of it and just deal with him.

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2013

I dont give flying shit what he or his parents think. HE IS FINANCIALLY responsible. The law says so. If that changes if he wants to be part of baby's life or not, he syill has to pay. Child support. I would hope that he goes to college becayse he now has to get a good job to suupport that child. Tell her to expect that he will have to do a paternity test so it wont matter if he starts denyng that its his baby next off. Been there done that. Prepare her to be a sngle mom, she needs to finish school go to college and get a job to support that beby as well. I know I went threw thus as well and thank god for my mother who partially financial ly suppritrd me and my son as did my 2 jobs and then school loand till I was gainfully employed by the time my son was 2. And Im still in the same career 15 yrars later. Married, divorced, remarried and with 5 children now. Its hard but tell her to only count on herself and then there is less disappointment and heartbreak for her. If he at some point strps up the better for baby even if he doesnt deserve the chance the baby does. Good luck to your daughter and your family. Enjoybthat grand baby. My mother says its better than being a mom! Lol

Jacqueline - posted on 02/17/2013

I had my daughter at age 17, she is now 21 & in college (thank you Jesus). I had talks with her at a very early age because I didn't want her to be another version of me. If you know your young daughters are sexually active, introduce them to some form of birth control. It's not easy being a young mother. #speakingfromexperience#

Jody - posted on 02/17/2013

The boy should have thought about the consequences before having sex without protection. You and your daughter could fight to get financial support, or this may be a blessing in disguise, have him sign away his parental rights so that he and or his parents can't come back in 6 months or a year or 2 and decide they want the baby. Good Luck and I will be hoping for the best for your family.