Indecent behaviour by my son and his future wife!

SilvyZ - posted on 11/12/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi to all,
I am a single mother (50) of one son. I god divorced when he was a kid. His father left the country and we have not heard about him since then.

Recently, my son ( 25) got engaged to his girlfriend (24) and they moved in my house, until they provide their own place. I certainly agreed, as I know their situation. They have some financial difficulties, so I am glad I can help them.

I have never had sympathy for his fiance, which does not mean that it disturbs our relation. I try to be reasonable, tolerant, to be of benefit, and of course the most important thing, i try not to cross the red line, neither through words or actions.

Unfortunately I can not say the same for her. Except that she is always arrogant and rude,in some way she manipulates my son and she does it very successfully. I really do not understand what happened, but my son suddenly began to show disrespect to me. I did not know what that was due to , until one night after we had dinner.

After we ate, I kindly asked his fiance to wash the dishes if not a problem, as I was really tired and had a headache. It was the first time I asked for something like that from her, because I always do it by myself.
What she said to me, got me astonished: ‘’ What do you think, that I am your servant? ‘’ I just stood there confused, but the biggest shock came when my son told me that I do not have right to give her orders. I tried to calm the situation, but it only got worse. They both turned against me. I did not have a choice, so I washed the dishes and went to bed.

Next morning, when we had a breakfast, my son said to me in front of his fiance: ‘’Mom, you know what would be very interesting? If you and L*****A(his fiance) get out of control and solve your misunderstandings by exchanging slaps and fighting moves. That would be great.’’ I stayed frozen when I heard that. His fiance started laughing and said: ‘’ You can count on me for that, anytime you wish.’’ They both looked each other and kept laughing.

I have to admit, I am worried and a bit afraid. I can not suppose what they intend to do. Any advices will be welcomed.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted 6 days ago

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Time for them to move out and grow the heck up. They are grown adults and can manage financially on their own or live in the street. To treat your future mother in law with such disrespect? Absurd.

Lilian - posted on 11/14/2017

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I'm sorry for what you are going through. Perhaps it is time to set up boundaries. With love & compassion, you may want to sit with your son and set up rules, eg. pay rent, do house chores, etc. And you have every right to remind him that you are mom, and would not put up with disrespect in your home. Tough love will serve your son's best interest, he may be resentful at first but he will soon learn that it is for his own good. Sending you love, peace & blessings.

Keith - posted on 11/12/2017

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Wow !!! free board and lodging and now they want a real live reality show as well. You will have to lay down the rules and get them to commit to some sort of arrangement !!! This means that you need to bring in outsiders since their is clearly a plan for assaulting you. Not only this but it will boil down to your word against theirs. Tough love is required and if you cannot safeguard yourself then have them evicted. It's probably easy to work out where the financial problem comes from and selling your home could be what they are after. Your son will thank you eventually once his totally away from his fiancé. If you place him in a tough situation then he will have to make some tough choices for his own future and his own life that means breaking off from a bad situation. I am father to 3 boys myself and I feel for you. I certainly would not want anybody going through this situation.

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