Is it okay to allow 13 yr old to go to the mall alone with friends?

Pam - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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My 13 yr old daughter is constantly asking to go to the Mall with her friends. My daughter has never given me reason not to trust her, so it's not a trust issue. I am afraid of something happening to her. Her friends go all the time ,not always with money, and I don't think that the Mall is a place to hang out, it's for shopping. Am I being to over protective?

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Jane - posted on 03/30/2013

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this happened to me only a few weeks ago, the mall is far away and i was not going to let them go there by them selves, i took the bus with them to the mall, my daughter and sister cam along, once we were therei let them go off for 1 and a half hours they each had my number, once it was time to go home i gave them a ring and told them to meet me at starbucks, then we took the bus home, it was very safe and my daughter had a great time, maybe you could do this too?

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Hi Pam. I go to the mall with my 14 year old. She hangs out with her friends while I shop. We both have our cell phones and communicate when needed. I wouldn' t just drop her off. I don't think at 13 years she could handle and adult situation. Also, I so trust my daughter, it's other people I'm worried about. We do need to let go and let them grow up, but still need to protect them as well. Go with your instincts, just because other moms are doing it doesn't mean you have to. Sorta like peer pressure all over again as an adult huh? It's sooooo hard being a mom to a teen girl. I find myself wanting to be a friend and trying to be mom too. What we have to remember is that they have a lot of friends and only one mom. We are the biggest, most important influence in their lives.... might not seem like it but it's true. So, some things we do they won't agree with now, but in years to come they will understand why we protected them and will be appreciative.You seem to be a wonderful mom!! Good Luck!!

Rachel - posted on 01/05/2013

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No I would not allow it. I went when I was that age and was approached by older guys all the time. I was too young to deal with it. Not a good idea.

Chealsea - posted on 11/25/2013

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Yes she should be allowed to go to the mall herself. you can be in the mall shopping in other stores and letting them socialize while you do a bit of shopping too. She will thank you,but make sure you don't bump into her or anything, because she will get angry.

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Jessica - posted on 02/13/2014

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lol my friends and I go shopping all the time and we just have one of our moms (theres three of us by the way) go over to the play center with the younger kids and we go shopping and were 13 too 😃

Drew - posted on 11/25/2013

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What my mom did is she came with us but went to different shops so if I needed help or anything I could just call her.

Make sure you know exactly who she's going with and where they are going.

Cla - posted on 11/20/2013

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Kids are becoming sexually active as young as 12 now, it is usually children who are not adequately supervised or given too much freedom, u may have a good child but her friends may not have the same upbringing.......13 is too young to go to the mall without an adult chaperone, too many kids without morals, too many paedophiles, and child kidnappers.

Angie - posted on 08/18/2013

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yes shes thirteen. im actually only 12 lol and i always went to different places with my friends, even to laguna etc. lol if i go to malls i go just with my friends but if its far away my mom lets me bring my yaya lol :))

Nelly - posted on 03/17/2013

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When my children started high school we allowed them to go to the mall with their friends we drove them there and we picked them up

Julia - posted on 03/11/2013

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yes you are being very over protective. kids will b fine since there is security. or just give your daughter a bottle of mase

Grace - posted on 03/09/2013

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No I trust my daughter to but I still don't what going by herself or with her friends

Alaizha - posted on 02/02/2013

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You will have to let her have her own space,not too much.Just let her go with her friends but let her bring her phone and her friends their phones.Make sure there is supervison afterwards.

Wanda - posted on 01/17/2013

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No, she is only thirteen, it was a little different when we were young. She would need to be mature enough to handle certain things that may arise.

Clementine - posted on 01/06/2013

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Well, if the mall is creepy no. If the mall is nice, then yes. My parents let me go alone and if the mall is a little scary, they stay somewhere in the mall while we go around and they text us every once in a while.

Maggie - posted on 01/01/2013

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Okay it depends who the child is with she has to be with friends so I sometimes with just do my own shopping and then HAHAH IM JUAT KIDDING !!! IM 15 AND DESIDED TO LOOK AT THIS SITE AND I HAD TO DO THIS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT KIDS!

EVELYN - posted on 10/01/2009

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I THINK IT DEPENDS ON THE NEIGHBORHOOD THE FRIENDS SHE HAS AND HER OWN RESPOSIBILITY LEVEL. I NEVER LET MY KIDS DO IT UNTIL 17

Pam - posted on 09/25/2009

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Thanks Jackie, for the great advice. My daughter is mature and responsible, but it's so hard to allow her to grow up. I have to take baby steps. Lol.I guess I can be over protective at times. ;-)

Jackie - posted on 09/25/2009

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I really think it depends on the child. If your child is a mature 13 year old, then I would say yes, with rules of course. I have two teenage girls and the oldest who just turned 18 was allowed at 13. My 14 year old was just recently allowed. This was due to their maturity levels. They never went/go alone. Always with friends.

Pam - posted on 09/25/2009

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Cara, I truly "LoVed" your advice. Thank you sooo much. I am going to share your comment with my daughter. ;-)

Cara - posted on 09/24/2009

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13 is kinda young to leave at the mall. The concern you have for her may be God's discernment. When my children try to say, "so and so's mom lets them go." I remind them, God gave me them, because He wants me to raise them how He leads me, not according to how so and so's mom is raising them.

Just a suggestion: When my kids were too young to go by themselves but old enough to have a little freedom, I would go with them and we would go seperate ways. They would have cell phones and we would meet up every 45 minutes or so and check in. I felt better knowing I was near if something happened (I think they liked that too, although they may not addmit it.) and I was able to see how they handled a little freedom.

Pam - posted on 09/24/2009

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Thank you, Suasn. I appreciate your help. I sooo agree with you about just hanging around!!! ;-)

Susan - posted on 09/24/2009

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i let my kids go to the mall when they were 13, but, i stayed in the mall, they had there phones and we had a set time and place to meet. Even though they are with friends they are 13 and not mature enough to handle situations that may arise. now at 15 he is able to go with his friends but with a two hour time limit. Nothing good can come from just hanging around in my opionion.

Heike - posted on 09/17/2009

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I wouldnt worry so much ,if shes with her friends all the time...hanging out is what teenies do....

Pam - posted on 09/16/2009

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Thank you, Mindy. I feel much better hearing that it's okay to let go a little. I am going to take baby steps and try not to baby her so much!! Lol

Mindy - posted on 09/16/2009

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I Think it's fine to let them go to the mall at 13, I have 2 daughters 15 and 12 and my 13 year old has been going to the mall to hang out with friends since she was 13, they have fun and get to hang out with friends, I always make my daughter have her cell phone on...

Pam - posted on 09/16/2009

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Everyone is giving me this advice, so, I think that I will try to drop her off this weekend and see how it goes. I have to learn to let go and stop being so protective

Denise - posted on 09/16/2009

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Lots of kids these days hang out at the mall. I used to let my daughter go there with her friends when she was 13. I would drop her off and pick her up when she was ready to go home. She also carries a cell phone so I or she could call in case of anything.

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I for one, would not let my child go to the mall alone at 13, but I can say I did let my son go with friends to the mall, but I was there also. I took him to meet friends and I hung out at the mall doing my own thing and we had a set time to meet up. Try this with your daughter, see how it works out for you.

Patricia - posted on 09/15/2009

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Believe it or not alot of people go to the mall JUST to hangout and window shop....the mall is for shopping but its also a place where you can go and see people of different cultures and races all in one place having a nice time and just enjoying all the varieties of clothing, shoes, foods, etc...that they have there. I say let her go with her friends to the mall. If when she comes home you don't think she should be allowed to go again then that's your decision. Give her a little freedom, I think she will be happier for it.

Sherrie - posted on 09/15/2009

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I think it depends on the neighborhood, but she should be capable of handling hanging out with her friends at 13. Going to the mall is what they do. You can ease into it slowly by dropping her off and giving her a set time and place as to where you will pick her up. See how she does and see how much more she'll respect you for trusting her and allowing her to grow up a little. Also set boundaries....she can't go any where alone, to include the bathroom. And discuss your fears with her openly! That way she will be on guard for those things that you fear.

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