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TONI - posted on 03/24/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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TALKING TO ALL THOSE SINGLE MOMS OUT THERE WITH TEENAGE SONS. I AM RECENTLY DIVORCED SINCE HALLOWEEN. ANY ADVICE . MY SON HATES ME AND HE LIVES WITH HIS DAD. HE CHOOSE TOO. I WAS ANGRY AND HURT. HE HATES ME AND WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I HAVE SOME DISABILITIES AND IT IS HARD TO DO THE THINGS I USED TO DO. .

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Misty - posted on 03/26/2012

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I have a 17 year old son who lives with me (hasn't seen biological father for 15+ years). We have went through phases where he "hates" me. Of course, I'm the one that has always been the nagger, enforcer of rules, etc. The best suggestion I have for you is continue to show a desire to have a relationship with your son. Take accountability for your part in what is wrong with the relationship (AND THEN SOME). Most importantly, NEVER speak ill of his father in front of him. I know that can be really hard. My ex and I were young when we married. I do not put the blame for the demise of my marriage or their relationship on my son or his father. I truly believe that has been the best thing I could have done for my son. Being a mom is the job with the longest hours, lowest pay & most heartache. Your divorce is still very new. If your ex makes you out as being bitter or controlling & your words or actions reflect that, your son will inevitably believe his dad was in the right. However, if you display positive emotions and keep the relationship with your ex separate from your relationship with your son, he may see things for what they truly are. Not saying it won't take time. Just continue to show an interest in him and the things he enjoys. Wish you the best!

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Hi Toni,

My son is 20 but he still acts like a teenager and chose to live with his Dad. At this time my son doesn't want anything to do with me either. Many of us are in this situation. I've learned that boys can be very disrespectful to their moms especially as teenagers. Just remember that you are not alone. A lot of moms are going through the same thing. I know how you feel and I'm so sorry you are being treated badly.

Sandra

Terrie - posted on 03/26/2012

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add me im new and have an 18 and a half year old son who is screwing up lol

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Misty - posted on 03/28/2012

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Not having a solid support system definitely makes the situation even tougher for you, I know personally. Just try to stay strong and keep your head up. I don't know exactly what each of your relationships were with your son pre-divorce but in October 2011 my daughters father filed for custody. He has seen her once every few weeks to once every few months since she was born. Initially, she acted out and pushed away from me. In hind sight (and after many hours of talking), she just felt like she had to choose sides and she knew deep down that my relationship with her was not going to change but she feared the realtionship with her father would get worse. Is it possible he is doing/saying/acting a certain way in an effort to seek approval from his father? Continue to be sensitive to the fact that he is still a kid. I believe every child wants to know they are loved and cared about...no matter what they say!

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Tony,

I understand how you feel. I have no other family either other than my son & I understand how hard and terribly hurtful it is when you feel your son acts like he hates you. Just remember that you are not alone. You have friends now! At some point most kids act like they hate their parents and/or say they hate their parents and it's especially hard on single moms. Keep reading Misty's post. She's right about everything she says.



Sandra

TONI - posted on 03/27/2012

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THANK YOU MISTY. I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT. IT WOULD BE LESS STRESSFUL IF I HAD MY FAMILY AROUND FOR A SUPPORT GROUP. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. MY FAMILY IS SPREAD ALL OVER. THANKS AGAIN.

TONI - posted on 03/27/2012

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THANK YOU SANDRA. MY SON IS COMING HOME THIS FRIDAY FOR SPRING BREAK AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH HIM. HIS FATHER IS WORKING ALL WEEK. MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MAKE SURE MY SON IS NOT BORED ALL WEEK. JUST DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO .

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