Lying Daughter, does any parent have a teen daughter that consistantly lies?

Leesa - posted on 04/03/2013

Holly, yes I agree she doesn't have anything
Except for being a bratty teenager who is selfish and cares only
About herself !

Holly - posted on 04/03/2013

what about leesa's situation sounds like the child has aspergers? she just sounds like a bratty kids

Leesa - posted on 04/02/2013

I agree Kim, judge judy is so cool love her and shes so right
U can tell when a teenager is not telling the truth
Their mouths will be moving lol

Kim - posted on 04/02/2013

Judge Judy says it best whenever a teenager opens their mouth they're lying LOL

Amy Dawn - posted on 03/30/2013

Leesa, it sounds like she may have Asperger, you might consider having her tested.

Leesa - posted on 03/23/2013

God anyone want a bratty 14 year old sd LOL she has been a nite mare today. We have just had to take her ipad and phone from her so shes sulking like a 2 year old. She even asked me and her dad today if she could sleep over at her boyfriends house WTF shes 14 and because we said NO WAY she thinks we don't trust her its not that it's we don't want to have another baby to look after, and she won't have the needle to avoid getting pregnant she claims she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to and the pill well forget that she is too irresponsible to even do her homework. Dont know what to do with her. I have 3 bio kids and compared to her they are angels. I know it sounds really bad and i love my sd a lot but sometimes i wish she would just go back to her mother cause since she arrived our whole family have be fighting what to do before i go insane

Tina - posted on 03/22/2013

My 17 year old daughter who is a A student suddenly started lying and not doing homework. She is not even caring about her grades which are falling from A to F. She is becoming very rude, disrespectful and stubborn. I think I have to see a psychologist since nothing is helping. Can anyone please recommend a good one dealing well with teenagers in northern VA area?

Loreli - posted on 02/06/2013

Hi Angela,
Yes I DO! I just made a post about it the end of last week. she is 17, an "A" student in school with goals for after graduation, however with in 2 months everytime i'm not sure if its friends or what her influence is - there comes a house breaking lie. she is in counceling now - but i'm not sure if something else is wrong. i had gotten a response - but............ to that, she said she kids don't lie because she grounds them and makes them do their siblings chores for 2 weeks. Well, on that note. I do ground her and she has no sibling at home but she still has chores that she does and that doesn't stop the lies. i was hopeing for advise.

Madison - posted on 02/06/2013

My children dont lie because every time they do they are grohnded for two weeks and have to do their syblings chores

Loreli - posted on 02/02/2013

Ummmm Hi there!! Me Me - I have a 17 yrs old senior "A" student who - like every 2 months after we think things are going well, seems to mess it all up by bring the house and everyone into a tail spin with a lie. now i'm finding out or as she says - shes afraid of me becasue she knows how angry and or upset i'm going to be about the lie to begin with. i'm truely at witts ends as to how to handle and fix this problem - any suggestions??
I'm a new-bee out here any in put would be greatly appreciated..

Leesa - posted on 01/25/2013

YES my sd came to live with us 2 years ago an omg what a difference teen boys are to girls, i have 2 boys and a girl that are so different to my sd. She has tantrums like a 2 year old if we take her phone from her and starts to tear up her bedroom. All she has to do is cry an her dad gives in an gave her phone back to her in less than 5 mins. I don't understand it she swears at her dad all the time an lies about everything but he still treats her like a queen. She nice to me an very respectful but she has no respect for her dad which I keep telling him is because he lets her get away with EVERYThING. My 3 kids live with us also and have had their stepdad in their lives for over 8 years an we have no trouble from them they are loving an very good kids. My sd if she doesn't get her own way tells her dad well ill go back to bio mum then so he gives in he has started saying ok u know where the phone is call her but her bio mum did treat her really badly an doesn't want her back which is sad. I think it's just teen girls in general that are hard to deal with like my sd who hides in her room all day n night on Facebook which if she was my daughter she wouldn't even have as my 3 dont I'm hoping it will get better good luck to any mums in the same position

Brandy - posted on 01/25/2013

my daughter lies about everything grades bf and now i think she is sneaking out at night

Lakota - posted on 01/07/2013

Hardcoredad? 1. Learn to communicate without all the offensive language 2. This is a site for moms. 3. Get a grip

Harriet - posted on 12/01/2012

Still lying at age 27. I came to my daughter's rescue across country only to read the text to her boyfriend that said she wished she had a mother that loved her. Said I was sleeping on a nice bed in the hotel while getting a cot for her...so untrue-she was in the queen bed next to me! This is just one example, her friends have told me that she tells terrible lies about me. I know she does it for attention-to be seen as the victim. It hurts me and of course her friends that dont know the truth stare at me and dont like me. On the phone, I have a good relationship with my daughter and she calls me when she needs help or just to talk about her problems. I have never really confronted her that I know the other side of her. I want to but know this will drive her from me.

Rhonda - posted on 10/24/2012

Yes I do, I can not believe a word that comes out of her mouth even about small issues that don't really matter.

Laura - posted on 09/24/2012

my daughter lies about me , it started when me and he daddy broke up and i started seeing this new man ,he was brilliant with her ,she looked like she got on with him but then every time she went to visit her daddy she told them things that wernt true like she walked into my bedroom and saw us having sex,this really hurt me and now she lives with her daddy because she couldnt get over the fact that we wouldnt be together again and she is only 11 ,broke ny heart .

Kim - posted on 09/23/2012

Yes we do. We made the statement once we would never have to worry about her lying because she was a good child and told use everything. At 15 we let her date a bit and at 16 shw was dating. Dated boy her entire junior year his senior year. We trusted her because we never had any reason not too. We started having issues of no answering text. We always had that talk with her about sex drugs and drinking. One night she came in drunk after being out on date we too phone car and going out for one month. What bothers me is she is not ashamed at all and she can turn a simple talk into a big fuss her body language and crushing are too much we also summer of going into 12 th grade her and boyfriend had been having relations. How did I not know that. We always told her if a boy try's something just call us we will come get you. She seemed to be on our page. She started lowering her grades not doing anything to help out around house laying out or her pt job. When confronting her with these types of things she got mad mad rage throwing things and even raised her hand to me. Never had that trustful I'm sorry. I could go on but the point is I need help I don't know her and it's so hurtful to say she will lie about everything. In college now not doing well was in four year college a freshman came home for boyfriend he broke up with her shortly after.she has to have a boyfriend can't ever have just friends which she has no friends really. I miss her and she lives with us so much wonderful times have passed us by she is not grateful appreciative nor respectful. We ask her to do things she want if we say anything she gets mad and turns it on us saying we fuss all time. Do you have any ideas.

Regina - posted on 08/26/2012

Yes please help I have never punished my daughter for telling the truth however she lies about any and everything for now reason at all and has no remorse about it

Ashley - posted on 04/15/2012

All teens lie at some point I believe but little tiny white lies shouldn't be that big of an issue as long as you make your point clear that it is not acceptable.

Tammy - posted on 04/06/2012

It was encouraging reading everyone's stories b/c I've dealt with the same issue with my teenage daughter. She seemed to have started lying at about age 10. Little white lies for fear of being punished for breaking a toy or spilling milk...silly things. I know I have always been a pretty cool Mom. Accidents happen. Sure there were times when she would do something foolish when I was in a bad mood, but I have no dout that I was always reasonable and talked things through. Maybe I was too nice. Funny thing though....throughout all the years to follow I have ALWAYS said "when you lie you get in big trouble...when you tell the truth we can deal with it." I'm not sure how I could've changed that up for her to feel confident that telling the truth was a far smaller consequence than lying??? She's almost 18 now and lives in another Province with my family. She seems happy and getting by. Going to school and working.

We talk a lot and she is starting to fess up to lies she's told me in the past....I have to say there are few I didn't know about. I was always on top of her as far as always knowing who her friends were, their parents and I always had the door open for her friends to come visit. I figured that would be the best way to keep an eye out on her. Her lies were minor, but still lies.

I feel ad for you parents who are dealing with troubled teens who lie and hurt others in the process. especially YOU, the parents. You all deserved to be loved by your child. Society has changed for the worse...but stay strong, open minded and know that your kids need to express themselves. Talk about it, forgive, then let it go! Many parents hold on to the grudge well after the forgiveness and still bring up the past to their kids. You've just lost their trust by doing that. Forgive and move on....we have to be role models no matter how hard. :) Hugs to all our parents staying strong :D

Mrs Susan - posted on 04/03/2012

Yes I do my daughter constantly lies but the funny thing is my daughter must think I am stupid but I can tell when she is lying. Why do they do it because if it is to act big it does the opposite. I have a son and up to now he hasn't told me one serious lie. I am frightened my daugters lies will not stop and do not know what to do to make it. I love her dearly and am frightened that her lies are going to end her in trouble.

Deborah - posted on 04/01/2012

Hi there.

I WAS a teen liar when I was from 12 until I was over 23 or so. I couldn't tell my parents the truth no matter what, even over the smallest and stupidest details.

I never knew why, until I was into my 50th year and found a psychiatrist who actually listened to me and found me not to be just a pathalogical liar, but the reason. He said my aim was to please a mother who thought that I looked too much like my biological father and told me so many many many a time even though her 2nd husband adopted me when I was only 2 years old, she held a grudge against him and visited his punishment on me in a daily dose of total emotional abuse. My Daddy, (her 2nd husband) knew what the problem was and ALWAYS defended me to her, but the trick was trying to keep myself in control until my Daddy came home.

I really didn't want to disappoint my minister mother, and I thought that because she was such a good woman under God that she didn't have any human problems ever. Not true. And I lied because I never wanted my Daddy to feel like he shouldn't defend me. I wanted to be perfect and I wasn't. My girlfriend lied just as much to her "perfect" family of a stay at home Mom and a very successful Dad.and her problem was just that she wanted to do what all the cool kids did and couldn't find a way to get her Mom to allow her so she just lied and did it anyway. It could be one or both or neither of these things, but whatever the reason is, she doesn't want to make you disappointed. She wants you to have a great mother and daughter team, or she wants to do something that she knows you would disapprove of and doesn't know how to tell you without you hollering. Instead you need to sit down with her whenever you suspect, or find out a lie. ASK her why she lied and if she says, "I don't know" don't take that for an answer. ASK her if there were some reason she felt she couldn't tell you the truth. ASK her if she thinks that you are asking too much of her. ASK her what the reason is that she doesn't confide in you and let her know that even if you do disapprove you won't yell and you won't hold it against her forever. She has to know that you will love her no matter what, but there are some things that you want for her that her behavior will not allow. It is SO much about what other kids are doing too. We would say to Mom, "Jane Doe is going to a rock concert, can we go" and Mom would say, "Absolutely not" and when we asked why Jane Doe's mother let her do fun things, she would answer, "Because I am not Jane Doe's mother and you are not Mrs. Doe's child" Period. That was the end. No more talking about it or anything. Basicly if she said so, then it must always be so. So we all lied. 3 girls. Lied our fool heads off so that Mom would let us out of her sight for a minute. You see, the 2nd problem was that she was the town minister and God forbid that her children would be seen doing something that the community might find unpalatable. That is why they say that the child of a minister is always the most devilish. But her BIG beef with me was that I looked like my biological father, and I can understand that now that I have met him. BIG TIME LOSER~! Always someone else's fault that he hurts you either emotionally (a lot) or physically, (which he was often times with my mother causing her to abort 2 pregnancies before me). Anyway, that's that, but try to look inside yourself and wonder if there aren't some type of thing that you are visiting on your child where she is unable to meet your expectations. I am not saying let her do what she wants, but sit down with her and talk it out together and if you still don't want her to do something, explain why truthfully and honestly and I think that you will find your daughter will calm down a bit on the lying. Yes, it will take you a bit longer than your usual split second decisions, but it will work on your daughter a whole lot better.

Ana - posted on 04/01/2012

Yes, I have come to the conclusion that my daughter is an illusion. I have no idea who she is or what she does. She left me to go live with her dad when I took away her phone and computer and discovered her double life. I finally stopped crying the second month after she left and doesn't want anything to do with me saying that her pain is healing. If anything, I'm the one in pain from her lies, deceit, rudeness, hostility,etc. I've reached out to her so many times but have finally chosen to let go since her last email to me said she needed more time because of the pain. She was bringing in baggies of marijuana, taking all kinds of inappropriate pictures of herself, bad mouthing my husband (who has treated her like a princess), my sons and myself, and who knows what else. The images on her phone and computer were beyond disturbing. Quite frankly, I am rather fearful of her and what she is capable of. :(

Teri - posted on 03/30/2012

I think it's strange to have a teenage daughter to doesn't lie. My daughter is 20 years old now, but she gave us a run for our money. I had to pray all of the time because it's a crazy world out there and with the lies and trying to go places she shouldn't be, stressed me out. But she made it, she graduated and now she's in the Navy. My hard work paid off!!

Carrie - posted on 03/30/2012

My 16yr old daughter has been lying/fabricating for years. She always seems to have, seen, done, or heard what someone else has. She has gotten me in the middle of them ie tells someone something such as there is no food at home....they then talk to me....its not that there was no food, there wasnt what she wanted at home! Its to the point I can't believe anything she tells me!

Saundra - posted on 03/29/2012

Children lie because they are afraid of others'(especially parental figures) reactions.

D - posted on 03/22/2012

I struggle with this. My 18 yr old daughter is now attending therapy to deal with it.

Kat - posted on 03/15/2012

Personally I have found that eventually they start to lie when the first second and third lie passes over easy. Then they just start telling lies. Eventually we figure it out and know they are lying to us or maybe we knew from the start. Then you have to ask yourself why are they lying? What are they gaining by lying to you? I think eventually it becomes a terrible habit and they end up doing it all the time ans sometimes don't know where the truth starts and the lie begins. This is something very serious and something I think counseling can help. Not only to get to the bottom of the lying, but help rebuild the skills they need to regain the truth. Because if it is not stopped and corrected the compulsive lying could cost them a job or meaningful relationship down the road. Because they want to be trusted. Ans there is NEVER any shame going to see a counselor and the counselor can give you some ideas on how to work on this at home. Also sometimes they lie to cover up other things such as substance abuse which is definately something you would want to see help on. Things will work out, it just takes time and learning to trust again.

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2012

my 15 year old daughter lies about homework being done, why I don't know since she is a straight A student and her school posts homework on their website for parents to see every day and call if any student scores below 70% on any given assignment or test. Tonight she is meeting a boy to see a movie and she won't tell me (I know because I saw her text). I would have no problem with her going out on a "date" and she knows that. I think they lie because it makes them feel in control of any situation.

Vicki - posted on 03/07/2012

i do and im in the same boat and not sure how to handle it

Cami - posted on 03/07/2012

I have a 12yr old daughter who I can't trust because I feel like all she does is lie, I just got a call from the school counselor telling me she just went in there telling them a construction worker was looking at her butt and biting his lip, I would believe this but then she brought up her friend who I can't stand because this girl has no home life and I forbid her to hang out with this girl. Well the counselor tells me well Amber was also in the cafeteria today and a different worker did the same exact thing....So I have no idea what to do with my daughter, she is a super duper great lier.....She knows how I feel and my husband we can't believe her at all...My husband doesn't even talk to his mother because of my daughter, she lied to us about things his mother supposively said about him and I when she didn't...Also she has been bullied at school lately and I don't even know if that is true, she comes home crying and crying but who knows if it's real, but her stories she comes up with are so so good they just role off her tongue it amazes me....So if anyone finds a cure for this I would love help also, I am at a breaking point, never in my life did I expect to raise such a child like this.

Leann - posted on 03/04/2012

Yes, my adopted daughter can't speak a word that isn't a lie. I had prayed for a daughter for years and was on a list for years when I finally had the opportunity to adopt an 11 year old girl. Unfortunately, when a child lies, you don't know their real problems, real dreams. You can't have a real relationship. You can't get through to them because they don't own up to anything, not even their own opinion. I have begged, pleaded, bargained, disciplined and pulled my eye teeth out trying to get her to be genuine and have genuine conversations with me but it has never worked. She is 18 now and I don't know if anything we have ever done was worth a hill of beans to her cause i can't trust her. I do hope your teen stops lying. I know how frustrating it can be. I would much prefer a kid do something wrong and just own up to it. But, my child didn't even do things wrong and she'd lie. Anything and everything she said she would lie about. I think she was always trying to say what she thought you wanted but not what she actually thought.Goo luck Angela

Lyndsey - posted on 03/03/2012

i have a 16 year old daughter who lies through her back teeth.....:(

Desiree Jane - posted on 03/02/2012

I have a 17teen year old daughter which will be 18 on Tuesday. Well she has been lying for a long time and with alot of anger. She skips class,recently found out she has been drinking and has a yr old child. Im so lost for words. Life out here has changed, i remember playing outside.....now its about electronics. Kids doing drugs.... i cant stop her but i refuse to give up on her also.

Maria - posted on 03/01/2012

I have a 10, 15 & bf that lie to me. When someone figures out out how to get them to stop, let me know!

Vicki - posted on 03/01/2012

i have a soon to be 14 yr old that i think lies to my face by holding a straight face im not sure what to do about it and how to get her to behave and listen to me and respect me i am a single mom and their dad is no longet around

Sherry - posted on 02/29/2012

sry not daughter but have a 14 yr. old son that lies to us all the time.