Kelley - posted on 09/23/2012 ( 26 moms have responded )
My son recently turned 21. He still lives at home, doesn't have a job, and seems fine with having nothing. We stopped giving him money some time ago although I know my husband still buys his cigarettes (which I disagree with). He rarely wants to leave the house and has terrible personal hygiene. He has a couple of friends that he's had for years that come by and share their pot and alcohol with him. When I talk to him about change or looking for a job, he says that he feels anxious all the time and angry for no apparent reason. When I suggest counseling, he says he'll look into it, but never does. Sometimes it seems like he plays the mental illness card when pressured to do something he doesn't want to, but still....he does show symptoms of depression. I don't know how to motivate someone who seems perfectly content with their life and not at all willing to change it. I know we are enabling him, but do not know what to do or how to change it. He is the oldest of our four kids and financially we are strapped. It doesn't seem to bother him in the least and he doesn't feel he should contribute or help out with anything. It's as if he were still 15 but he is 21 with absolutely no responsibility....