Cheri - posted on 01/29/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
I do not have teens QUITE yet, but I will and would like some questions answered.
I was reading a blog where people said that they felt judged because they are young moms. Some of these gals are just 30 and have 16 yo children and are getting dirty looks, nasty comments and more. I was thinking about the "new days" where teen pregnancy seems very acceptable these days and yet, I see it's really not. I think teens are idealizing what they think motherhood is like, and it's very confusing.
I feel like I would want to tell these people to imagine what they want for their children, and share those dreams with them. I don't mean like "I want my child to be a lawyer" but what we want for our kids to be happy overall. I feel like if they did that, they would feel much less judged for having children young. I wonder if expressing themselves to their child can prevent a cycle of their child getting pregnant at a young age, and by doing this, they can feel less ashamed that they, themselves, were teen moms; but rather triumphant that their kids are NOT. I know that we can't turn back clocks, but maybe we can help our future generation make better decisions than we did ourselves? However, IT IS SO HARD. Even if I block every teen mom episode on TV, every magazine from the home, etc....there is STILL school, friends and peer pressure...
So, How do you go about telling your children what you went through? It seems like all of the sudden, it's "in" to have babies. Perhaps, because celebrities are younger (think Jaime Lynn Spears and Ashlee Simpson) these days, perhaps the tv show "Teen Mom", perhaps because there are pacts, perhaps it's something all entirely different, but it seems that more and more teens want to become pregnant and start families. I want to prevent this from happening to my children. I, myself, was not a teen mom so I can't tell them horror stories about my life, or talk about boyfriends' lies or pacts or whatever. I just don't know how to bring it up exactly, and don't know what the heck to do.
I thought about bringing a former teenage mother to talk to my daughters, who had a difficult time trying to support her child, boyfriend left her (after promising he'd always be there), and her struggles and sacrifices throughout her life to provide for her child, but am not sure that in it of itself would actually work.