My 10 year old sweet girl spent the night w/ her BF who watched porn on the computer all night

Brooke - posted on 10/03/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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she confided in me mostly because she DOES not feel comfortable talking about sex with her friends....so how do i handle this.....the other girls mom has NO IDEA how obsessed with sex she is. I am especially concerned because the overtly sexual behavior might mean she has been violated in some way by a predator. How do I tell her mom without losing my own daughters trust and faith in me ? She told me in confidence, of course, and our ability to communicate so openly would forever be scarred. Is it worth it? what does anyone else think or suggest I do? I have to put my relationship with my daughter first no matter what, we have worked so hard to be able to talk openly and freely about anything that she may be going through, or worried about, and pressure , sex, emotions and hormones etc. etc. etc.

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Louise - posted on 10/06/2010

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As the other mums have suggested I would sit my daughter down and explain that her best friend may be in trouble and that you need to help her. Try and put it in such a way that it does not frighten her but makes her understand that this is not normal behaviour for a girl her age. I would of thought your daughter will need quite a few chats to help her though what she has seen at such a young age. I would definitely approach the mother but be prepared for complete denial. The mother needs to know this is going on so that she can stop it happening to another child innocently coming over and get to the bottom of why her daughter is doing this.

Theresa - posted on 10/03/2010

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I think you need to explain to your daughter that a child of her age being so consumed with sex may mean that the child has been abused in some way. Of course you need to explain this in ways she understands. Then explain that you feel you need to tell the girl's mother so they can get her friend help if she has been abused. Explain that you very much appreciate that she came to you and even though you don't want to betray her trust that there are times when secrets can't be kept because someone may end up hurt. In this case you need to tell the friend's mom so that her friend can get help with whatever problems she may have.

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Shelly - posted on 10/18/2010

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Brooke,
I suggest you talk to your daughter and let her know your concerns and fears and that as a mom you would want her friends parents to beable to come to you about these types of things. Let her know that you are concerned about her friend and you would like her to go with you when you taslk to her parents...

Jennifer - posted on 10/15/2010

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I agree with all the other mothers. Its important for the other mother to know that this is going on. I would want someone to tell me if it were my child. Also, this is actually a good situation for your daughter to learn about puting others first and making the right choices for all involved. It may even strengthen your relationship.

Tah - posted on 10/08/2010

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I would def talk with the mother and maybe she can find a way to bring it up with her child without saying your daughters name. Just explain to her what you have said here but if it were my baby I would want to know...

Jennifer - posted on 10/05/2010

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I would definitely talk to the friends mom. You can explain the the mom that you don't want to break your childs confidence but felt this was important. I have been in this situation and sometimes you have to do the greater good. I figure if this was your daughter would you want to know? I know I would. Good Luck.

Ramona - posted on 10/04/2010

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I agree with the other posters. You need to somehow approach this mom and let her know what happened. I would also be restricting big time the time spent at that house.

Joan - posted on 10/04/2010

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i agree you need to talk to your daughter and let her know that you think that this friend may have been hurt or is possibly still being hurt. let her know that you understand she may be concerned about her friend getting angry but unfortunatly it is more important to make her mother aware of what is going on, and this is a risk you need to take so her friend can get help.

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