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My 13 year old drain's me of all my attention

S. - posted on 04/26/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My oldest daughter is nearly 13 and demands so much attention it's unreal! I have two other children 4 and 1 and I know she "thinks" she gets the least attention but in fact she gets the most, she stays up later, she get's to do things and go places with me her little sister can't do. She goes to cinema with just me were if I take her sister to see a kiddy film she comes too tbh the 4 year old gets the least "lone time" even family offer to take the oldest one places and not the younger one's.
She's a fantastic dancer but it's a constant watch this dance, look at this. She has always wanted the line light and I admire her for it but she's getting worse and it's rude, I'v always brought them up with manners so were her's have gone I don't know! If I'm having a conversation she trys to take over, she will try and dance almost in my face if I'm just stood there cooking and lately if I have friends down she will talk loud, dance, play music, tease her sister untill all the attention Is on her. On Monday a old friend was down all day most of the day it was my friend, me and the little one's then my oldest came in from school, with in half a hour it was bedlam in the end I sent the oldest to her (were she usually is if no one is here) my friend who has known her since she was 6 said it felt like she drained the room, I couldn't have put it better myself, i feel like she's making her self look daft.
I have tried talking to her, spending more time with her (seemed to make her worse), I'v gotten mad at her, and ignored her. We've made rules at the dinner table were we all take turns to tell each other about our day but nothing is working and I'm not sure what to do next! Is it even normal? She is a really good kid except for this. If any one can give me any advice I would love to give it a try

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S. - posted on 04/26/2012

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9

Acting like she is 7 is exactly right! But when she was 7 I think she knew better, she's been in dance classes since she was 4 her dance teacher post the dances on the internet and i always watch them and watch what she's made up at home, giving her a set time to watch her Is a real good idea thou thanks, I could set a time and maybe every other day and see if that works.
I do hold my hand up and tell her to stop it's rude and make her wait to speak, at one point me and my hb couldn't hold down a conversation with out her butting in she has improved slightly there but seems to have gotten worse when my friend are here (which isn't often) i told her in the past people won't think she's good for acting like that and she's making her self look daft and this time I told her what my friend said and she did seem a little bothered by it but I wouldnt put it past her to act like it again. It honestly feel's like the more I give her the more she wants, if she never got my attention or me to herself I could understand it but she dose, do you think she will just grow out of it?

Louise - posted on 04/26/2012

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69

I think you have done everything I would do. If none of that has worked then you are going to be blunt with her and put your hand up and say "stop right now, I will see your dance later I am busy now, off you go" turn your back on her and carry on with what you are doing. Keep doing this through out the day. Best to give her a time that you will watch her, and then remind her not now at ------- o'clock. She will learn after a few days that this is the responce she is going to to get and hopefully she will stop. Other than that have you tried putting her in dance school at the weekends where she can dance her heart out and do a performance every so many weeks, at least then you can stop her and say I don't want to see it until performance night as it spoils it.

Remind her to wait to speak if you are talking to somebody else. Raise your hand to the stop position. Ignore her until you have finished your conversation. What your daughter is doing is acting like a 7 year old, they have to learn social etiquete. Is she the same at school? I would of thought not.

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