My 13 year old wants to wear a string bikini?

Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 46 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old daughter is very focused on boys right now and its driving me crazy. We are going on vacation soon and went to get her a new swimsuit and she only wanted a tie on the side very skimpy bikini. She was not willing to compromise and we ended up not getting one at all. I think she is too young for this and of course she is telling me " that all her friends are getting one". Am I being unreasonable not allowing my 13 year old to wear a bikini?

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Jay - posted on 11/09/2013

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Love seeing those aged girls reveling them selves best jerk off material watching little firm but cheeks bouce up and down

Cierra - posted on 04/12/2012

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No you are actually being a better parent than those other ones. Setting the boundaries is always a must with teenagers. Let her know that she is not getting it bcuz its just inappropriate for her age. There doesn't need to be an argument or discussion about it.. you are the parent and she is the child, end of story.

Tracy - posted on 03/18/2010

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Good advice on your post about not giving in if your daughter wants a side tie bikini! I would only add that she WILL get the kind of attention she seeks out. If she is hoping to get the boys to drool over her and think sexually about her, and she chooses clothing that supports that attention, then she will get it. Sometimes it will attract the attention of sexual predators or young men that won't ask her opinion about having sex. She probably hasn't even considered this. And I'm fairly certain, at age 13, she won't want that kind of attention. A young boy her age will think she's cute or "hot" in a potato sack, so she might as well keep herself in more modest clothing for her own good!

Chelsey - posted on 05/05/2013

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My dauther is 14 I let her wear the shorts and a top but not a string. Top just a like straight across top but if we are in our home swimming pool and no one is over and it's just me her and her father I let her wear a string bikini but not out in public so if u have a home swimming pool let her try it out there give it till 16 then let her wear a string bikini

Lo - posted on 02/28/2014

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By not letting her wear a bikini, you are essentially body-shaming her. It's her body, and if she wants to be proud of her body, you should let her wear whatever pleases HER. However, I do think that you should talk to her and try to educate her in a body-positive way, letting her know that her value does NOT come from the opinion of other people, and especially not from the boys she's trying to attract.

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Tammy - posted 2 days ago

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Hi
Clifford Gartside
yes I bet your daughter looks so quite in her
bikini my daughter will only wear her thong bikini
you should get her some c string panty
my daughter fell in love with them

Clifford - posted 2 days ago

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I have the same problem with my ten year old, she insists on wearing a REALLY tiny bikini that doesn't leave much to the imagination to all the perverts out there.In the end we agreed buying her a somewhat modest bikini which she loves , even her girlfriend said how sexy it was, so every body is happy..........

Clifford - posted 2 days ago

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Hi Tammy, my 10 year old also loves to wear a thong bikini, we get a lot of looks from men and women at the beach which gives my daughter a lot of confidence. She also loves sexy thong panties. I have an 8 year old who has just discoverd her sisters stash of sexy lingerie and is egear to try them on

Tammy - posted 4 days ago

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Hi my 9yr old daughter wear a bikini
this past summer her and I bought matching bikini
she does own a thong bikini which she love to wear
and she wear g string pantys

Little - posted 4 days ago

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0k,I am 12, and my first swimsuit ever was a bikini... And you ask I still wear bikinis.
I don't know why there is a lot of parents that don't let there daughter wear a bikini,when THEY wear this type of swimsuit... Now, your daughter is not a baby at all, also she isn't a "adult" (if you know what I meen).All I can say is that your the mom.she's the kid.You make the dicision and do what you fell better for you're daughter.
But I think it's better to let her wear a bikini, we're in 2014...

Kayla - posted on 08/16/2014

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this is exactly right! It is also NEVER a 13 year old's fault if her clothing choices attract unwanted attention that is not her problem. Any adult who is ogling a child IS ALWAYS THE ONE AT FAULT. She should be able to wear whatever the hell she wants without being shamed. When I was attacked by a man at 15 ( and barely escaped) I was wearing a baggy sweater and baggy old jeans so predators honestly don't care either way what you wear! And I am sorry to say but in this messed up society your daughter would still be in danger if she wore a shapeless sack everywhere. Let her wear what she wants, do not shame her, but be a responsible parent and make sure you watch her or she is always with friends because girls and women are always in danger we live in a rape culture and blaming girls saying their choice of clothing means they are "asking for it" DOES NOT HELP THE SITUATION AT ALL!

Anna Blakely Rose - posted on 06/30/2014

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As a 16 y/o I can understand your daughter. I personally think that it is up to you. My mom does not let me wear string bikinis. At first, I didn't understand: all of my friends wore one, but then I realized that my body type does not look good in a string bikini. However, in your case it seems that you just don't want your daughter to show too much skin, which I fully understand. Maybe try and buy her a string top and a more full coverage bottom or vice versa. If that doesn't work, offer to let her buy one with her own money (if you are okay with that, if not, don't) Good luck!

~Anna Blakely Rose

Alyssa - posted on 06/16/2014

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Wearing a bikini is fine! something that has more coverage than a string bikini though.

Kimberly - posted on 03/02/2014

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We live near the coast with miles of beaches. Bikini's rule the waves. .

Younger body's do look better in Bikini's than their mothers do in them.. I know because my daughters are 17 and 20 and I am 36.

Seriously, they are so common that nobody notices them even when girls wear them

Being honest, you can go to a beach with a couple of thousand bodies and only about a dozen or two are worth looking at-- maie or female-- and those body's are most always owned by teens. The vast majority of even teen bodies would look better with more coverage. String and thong suits.look good on about .000001% of teen girls and zero percent on the over the hill crowd (21 and up)..

Just say NO, if it offends you. She can look just a sexy in a more modest bikini.and her boy friend can still take it off without much difficulty. (The last comment was made as a joke, but is also a sobering truth for parents).. .

. . .

Nelly - posted on 03/02/2014

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You are the adult, you are paying for the bikini you have to make the decision

Jillian - posted on 01/30/2014

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Yes, I only let my daughter where it at home. Otherwises she will where a tankini or a NORMAL bikini. Its really about you, your rules, and your choice. I say yes with you in your backyard but no in public. If you wanna talk more about 13 yr olds contact me by private messaging me.


Another mom with 13 yr old,
Jillian Anderson

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2014

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you are absolutely right!!! do not back down otherwise she will end up like Miley Cyrus

Jillian - posted on 01/29/2014

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My 13 year old comprised on a really cute normal bikini. But I sometimes let her wear string bikinis because it is the new thing. She actually looks really good in it though. Depending on where you are and how it looks on her.

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2014

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Well as the mother of teens I care. I care what people think of when they look at my daughter and I care about how she potrays herself to people.

Maeve - posted on 01/26/2014

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I think you guys are getting a little worked up becuase of a bikini. so what nobody cares really

Hannah - posted on 01/12/2014

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Not every girl who is interested in boys want to have them think of them like sluts, I know I let my daughter wear string bikinis and I know she fancies boys but I trust her, and so should you.

Gerard - posted on 11/08/2013

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What happen to a bit of modesty, have we all forgotten to apply that thought to our children. No it is not the way of the times for 13 year old girls to wear a string bikini or for that fact thong underwear. They may have developing bodies, but their mind is still that of a child. They do not understand that there will be those that look at them with wrong intent, and that wearing risky and revealing clothes will attract the wrong kind of attention and often from the wrong kind of people. It is not as if the skimpier type of bikini is any more comfortable to wear at the beach or while swimming. As for the parents in here that think it is wrong that you deny her her request, well parenting is not giving in, it is protection, better thought, and sometimes means we have to exert our will over theirs for the sake of control and moderation. Having Daughters, I understand that they may not feel we are being fair, but until they are an adult, fairness is not always a quality I have to abide by. I would not put a gun in their hand or a beer, hence I will not let them wear overly revealing clothing or makeup, Everything in moderation.

Samantha - posted on 11/04/2013

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You are being a little harsh my daughter wear a sting bikini and the only time i ask he not to wear it is if I notice a guy look at her.

Pam - posted on 08/25/2013

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wow, some real sick people have come on this group!

A comment I would like to make is that you can teach your daughter to be respectful and classy no matter what she is wearing! I teach my daughter that she is beautiful and she should be able to wear a bikini if that is what she chooses without being JUDGED by anyone!!!

John Duffy - posted on 08/21/2013

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A 13 year old can wear a string bikini if there are no boys around in the area, plus she can wear a string bikini in any backyard pool with no boys around as well, I have seen 10, 11 and 12 year olds wear tiny string bikini bathing suits but it should be in a private area where no boys are around, I do support this!

[deleted account]

A good compromise to make with her is to buy her the regular bikini bottoms, but sew bathing suit material strings onto the bottoms, or allow her to do it. So it will look like the bathing suits with the strings in them!

[deleted account]

A good compromise to make with her is to buy her the regular bikini bottoms, but sew bathing suit material strings onto the bottoms, or allow her to do it. So it will look like the bathing suits with the strings in them!

[deleted account]

A good compromise to make with her is to buy her the regular bikini bottoms, but sew bathing suit material strings onto the bottoms, or allow her to do it. So it will look like the bathing suits with the strings in them!

[deleted account]

A good compromise to make with her is to buy her the regular bikini bottoms, but sew bathing suit material strings onto the bottoms, or allow her to do it. So it will look like the bathing suits with the strings in them!

Rachel - posted on 06/08/2013

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I would let her! my daughter wears a string bikini and it looks great! as long as it isnt showing too much cleavage and her butt is not sticking out i would let her! because it would make her feel left out if she wasnt wearing one because all of her friends are

Sam - posted on 05/29/2013

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well if she is wearing it for sexual attention she isnt ready...yet i let mine because i know she can handel italso she tells me she feels a lot more comfortable and she is in the pool alot so i let het because she gets terrible tan lines according to her,,,,but in your case if she is boy crazed i would go for tankini

Jill - posted on 05/29/2013

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Although it may be absurd, many girls her age wear string bikinis. I would say it's fine. The real problem is the push-up bra swimsuits. Those are meant for adults, but many of my daughter's friends wear them.

Kasey - posted on 05/24/2013

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You are being unreasonable all my daughters friends do and so does she SINCE THEY WERE 12! As long as she's ties it tight and has the right body it's fine honey.

Enna - posted on 04/02/2013

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I had the same problem with my daughter last year, so she went for a couple of months without a bathing suit and was completely ready to compromise after that. This year we compromised on the first try. Her top was a bikini, but not a string bikini. And she chose the bottoms, which are shorts.
I don't thing string bikinis are appropriate for that age. I will probably give my daughter bathing suit freedom when she's 16.

[deleted account]

I WILL GO OUT WITH HER MY NAME IS JORDAN I,M THIRTEEN I LIKE BEING WITH THE GIRLS I GO OUT WITH SO I WOULD LIKE TO GO OUT WITH HER THANKS

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2013

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My 13 year old has all these high shorts and you can see her underwear we got in a huge fight and the fight was that she brought a boy in the house in her room with all these pairs of underwear all over the ground when i walked in the boy ben had all her underwear picked up in is hand i made him leave next thing i know he is kissing her in the front yard

Samara - posted on 04/10/2012

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Hell no you not unless you want to raise a lil tramp that gets pregnant at the age of 14. Tell her your not her friends parents you got more sense than to let your daughter advertise her womanly goods.

Susie - posted on 03/28/2010

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Heck no, we both know as adults the guys like it for one and only one reason; to get it off her.I wore a string bikini with bells on the hips. I remember the uncomfortable looks I got. 13 is way to young to handle that kind of attention. But good luck telling her that. Be strong Mom.

Karen - posted on 03/22/2010

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OH and join the club except mine is 14 and in 8th grade! SHe just went away with a friend and her mother and came back with every piece of clothing she is not allowed to wear. The mother of her friend bought all of it for her.

Stick to your guns on this. Plenty of time to grow up. Age 16 is when I'm going to let this girl wear what she wants, not 14.

Kirstie - posted on 03/18/2010

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I say if it ties NO, the boys well they will try to untie it not what you want for you girl .Keep saying no untill you can compromise with her and good luck on that

KEITHA - posted on 03/17/2010

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No, you are not being unreasonable. Stick to your guns she is too young. I have a 14 yr old. I commend you for not giving in.

Jodi - posted on 03/17/2010

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Not unreasonable at all. It's good she's comfortable in her body (my 13 y/o is really disliking the changes to hers) but it is your responsibility to teach her what is appropriate. It's also a great time to point out her body is not her only asset in attracting boys. I often find that when my daughter says "all her friends..." its usually because the other parents have not yet weighed in. I thinks it's great you left the store without buying her anything. If you decide to try again - explain to her what your requirements are and let the choice be her's. It would be sad if she couldn't enjoy the vacation but it is ultimately up to her. Good luck.

Joan - posted on 03/17/2010

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hi

you are not unreasonable in denying your daughter who wants a side tie bikini. you have to remember that the reason she lives with you is because she is not ready to always make the best decisions. don't feel bad about being her mom. you are not supposed to be her friend but her mother someone that will help to guide her to do the right thing.i would buy a suit that you think will fit her if she wants to swim she will wear it. when my kids were not willing to work with me they lost their chance and i was left to decide for them.i would tell her that either you work together and decide together or she will be left with your choice.

good luck

Joan - posted on 03/17/2010

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hi

you are not unreasonable in denying your daughter who wants a side tie bikini. you have to remember that the reason she lives with you is because she is not ready to always make the best decisions. don't feel bad about being her mom. you are not supposed to be her friend but her mother someone that will help to guide her to do the right thing.i would buy a suit that you think will fit her if she wants to swim she will wear it. when my kids were not willing to work with me they lost their chance and i was left to decide for them.i would tell her that either you work together and decide together or she will be left with your choice.

good luck

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