My 14 years old Son

Rozy - posted on 08/19/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi My Son is 14 years old and he is always browsing net and playing games in the computer and not studying school books i am very worried for this please help me how to put him in to his school books and make him study without being hard on him

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Jodi - posted on 08/20/2012

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Hey Rozy, as a parent sometimes it is our job to make our children sad. Set some rules and enforce them.

You don't have to be a dictator about it, merely explain that school is his job and the most important part of his life right now. That without an education and good grades his opportunities in life will be limited. Explain that you don't want him to be limited, you want him to have a good life. Then ask him what he wants from his life. Yes, he is only 14, but I'm sure he has an idea of whether or not he wants to have financial success, and a fulfilling career. 14 means high school, this is when grades start counting and kids have to understand that they are responsible for their futures, not you, not dad, but he is responsible for what his life ultimately looks like and how it turns out - whether or not he gets into college, whether or not he gets a scholarship, etc.,

When he starts doing his job (school) well and the grades are showing the proof of that then he can have some negotiating room for more computer time.

good luck

S. - posted on 08/20/2012

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Hi rozy, I always think that with teenagers we are setting them up and preparing them for adult hood, for example my daughter gets pocket money for odd jobs if she doesn't do her jobs she doesn't get payed because her employer wouldn't pay her if she didn't do her job when she's older and has a job, Sometimes we have to be slightly harsh to teach them because the real world is a lot harsher.
If your not happy with his request of 3 hours randomly on his tearms tell him no, tell him his hour study is earning him computer time full stop. no study no computer! If your happy with his deal then fine give it a Trial.
You could say " right I'm not happy with your idea so let's work our something till were both happy" and try and find a happy medium.
You need to remember you are not being mean you are doing what's best by him, you could be a crap mother an not care about his education but your not.

S. - posted on 08/19/2012

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Have set study times were if he studies for say a hour he earns a hour of game time. Sometimes you have to be a little hard.

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Rozy - posted on 08/20/2012

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Hi Jodi & Stacey
I am so thankful to both advise and ill take care of my son accordingly. he promised me that his grades in the school will be high. also i got purely good comments about him from his school teachers and class teachers. I am so proud of him. only i want him to be much smarter in the life. he has a ambition to become a Pilot and i will make it possible for him in financially :) hope all of you will be with me in this long journey with my Son. Hope you also have good time with your kids and this site will be always the healing point of us.
Please do visit to My country ill be happy.
Thank you
Rozy

Rozy - posted on 08/20/2012

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Hi Stacey
As you advised i set up a time for studies and i told my son that if he study one hour ill give computer one hour. than my son said Mom ill study three hours in different times trough out the day and rest of the time i want computer so please tell me what should i do in this case without making him sad
Thank you
Rozy

Rozy - posted on 08/19/2012

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Hi Stacey
Thank you so much for your advise. i will set up time now on-wards and will try to make him study. I am so happy that this site is their to help us in these kind of matters
thank you

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