My 14 yr old son didn't log out of his fb page and I saw he asked a girl when she was gonna let him f--- her? I don't know how to approach this?

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Shawnn - posted on 07/17/2012

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Ok, first of all, thank your lucky stars, and whichever deity or whatever, that he hasn't been charged with harassment!

Then, do what Kristi C. said. FULL ON PUNISHMENT, INCLUDING PUBLIC APOLOGY ON FACEBOOK.

Your son just sexually harassed another human being. His age at this point is immaterial, he will still be fully prosecuted, should the young lady's parents choose. How do I know??? Mine did almost the same, in a text, to a girl that is the daughter of one of my very good friends. THANK GOD her parents chose to come to us rather than the police...

Needless to say, 2 weeks is not enough punishment for no electronics, but that's a good start. Volunteering at a crisis center or shelter is another recommendation.

Best of luck

Laura - posted on 07/16/2012

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Yes I agree with Kristi as well. This is serious stuff. Kids need to be held accountable. I have a 12 and 15 yr old. I see the world they are in. We the grown ups in their life need to have all eyes open and let them know right from wrong. Be strong.

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Kristi - posted on 07/17/2012

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Volunteering at a crisis center or a woman's shelter is an excellent idea and IMO, a very appropriate consequence to go in conjunction with the rest of his consequences.

Kristi - posted on 07/15/2012

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Personally, I would be all up on him! After having a semi-calm discussion about how inappropriate his behavior was, I would ask him how he would feel if a vulgar, inconsiderate punk spoke to his sister (hypothetically, if need be) or to you that way. I would then make him post a very sincere apology to her on FB and make his new status something like, "I will not be on FB again for "2 weeks" (whatever length of time you take it away from) because I have to face the consequences for sexually harassing a girl. My behavior was disgraceful and it will never happen again." I would make it very clear to him that if he ever spoke to or degraded a girl like that again there would be serious repercussions. And tell him what those repercussions would be. This probably sounds harsh, but that kind of request/behavior is totally unacceptable and it is my job to teach him that. He needs to know that this wasn't funny or a "just messin around" joke. Because, I'll tell you what, if I ever saw someone post something like that about my daughter there will be holy hell to pay and I would not hesitate to call that kids parents and tell them what their kid did. If they blew it off, I'd be sending my daughter to school with a baseball bat. (ok maybe not a bat...lol) As not to be a hypocrite, if the tables were turned, a girl would deserve the same, if not worse, treatment for, not only for harassment but putting herself out there as a nasty, little tramp. But I'm pretty severe when it comes to this kind of thing. I hope all goes well and that your son learns his lesson the first time around. Good luck!

Laura - posted on 07/15/2012

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I would say thank God you saw this. Frankly I do not let my teens have a fb page without me being there friend. That is very inappropriate talk and I would just go right out and say what you saw on fb and how terrible it is to talk that way to a girl. I had an issue with my 12 yr old son about a comment he made on a you tube video. He was severly punished by no computer for 3 months. His you tube account was closed. He had to apologize to the girl he offended. He learned his lesson. What goes on with kids in the cyber world is horrendous. Many parents are blind to it. Everyone needs to open there eyes.

Ticy - posted on 07/14/2012

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well my son is 16 now and he uses my labtop which saves everything that he does and I have caught him on more than one ocassion watching porn on my laptop and I have heard him say things about how he wants to have sex with females now has he done it I don't think so for he's always at home or with his friends which is the daughter of my best friend and its a gay girl so I know that they aren't doing anything together but as a single mother of a soon to be 17 year old son in one more month I would have printed what you read and confronted him about it. I wouldn't have went off the deep end on him or anything but I would have sat him down with your husband/his father and had a serious conversation with him and I mean at that age that is when they start to have sexual urges and as a parent (for me anyway) I can't watch my son everyday all day so I just have to make sure he knows the consequences of having sex protected or not and pray that he is listening to me and he doesn't go into the world and do something stupid such as I did I was 17 when I got pregnant and he'll be that age in a matter of weeks on the 11th of August..All you can do as their mother is talk to them and make them understand about STD's and HIV, AIDS and teen pregnancy for teen pregnancy is going around faster and a lot more than diseases are...as sad as it is to say that its true..and nine out of ten chances if he is asking a girl when is he gonna let her fuck chances are he is NOT a virgin anymore...Wishing you much luck with this situation....

Angie - posted on 07/14/2012

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In my house, I had logins and passwords and my kids knew I could check their accounts at anytime. Once when I checked my youngest's facebook page and found messages cussing a girl out, using very vulgar language, I reset his password, and then sat him down and discussed what I found. I explained this is not what fb is to be utilized for and if he couldn't utilize it proper, he wasn't going to have one. He lost fb privileges for 30 days.

I worry somewhat for you though if there is more going on that you may be unaware of. Is he being sexually active or was this just him trying to be cool? I think it's time you have a heart to heart talk with him about what is going on with him. Good luck!

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