My 15 is pregnant

Amada - posted on 01/26/2013

What was the outcome this was three years ago.

Amada - posted on 01/26/2013

This was three years ago what was the outcome of her pregnancy?

Alexandra - posted on 01/26/2013

i would tell her how i feel about it. But I would let her decide for herself what she wants to do with her baby.

Amada - posted on 01/26/2013

That's a shame a precuous 15 yr old child has to put her young body thru.the decision is between mother and child.but.I know a 15 yr old cannot raise a baby alone .Todays teen boys are not responsible. they don't care if the girl gets pregnant or not they just want sex that's not. love they are confused between love and sex that's where this problem starts.And the wrong friends.be there for your daughter .she would benefit from a loving ffamily. right now .

Giselle - posted on 01/25/2013

FIRSTLY, Y DID SHE HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. KNOWING THAT SHE DIDNT WANT A CHILD. AND WAT IF SHE GOT AIDS, OR SOME OTHER STD. WHERE WOULD SHE GO AND ABORT THAT. NO SHE WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT, SUFFER THROUGH IT. SO, EVERY TIME SHE GETS PREGNANT, OFF TO THE CLINIC YOU GO, TO KILL THAT INNOCENT BABY. YOU ARE HER PARENT TEACHER HER RIGHT FROM WRONG. AND HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE. AND SERIOUSLY Y DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND. MY ADVISE IS LET HER MAKE HER OWN DECISION, ALLOW HER TO WEIGHT HER OPTIONS. AN ABORTION IS A DECISION THAT SHE WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE, ANYWAY GOOD LUCK!

Niki - posted on 01/16/2012

Abortion is NOT a crime. Period. It MAY be against your particular religion or cult, but it is not illegal in any state. Get your facts straight before you start preaching on a site that is meant for SUPPORT, no soap boxing!

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

I would show her all her options from having the baby, abortion and adoption. obviously she doesnt want to keep the baby. But I wouldnt tell her my opinion as it isnt my decision, she thought she was old enough to have sex so she needs to be a grown up and make the decision the best thing i would think to do is to provide ALL the information I can maybe take her to an adoption agency and an abortion agency to show her. and tell her she needs to make the best decision based on how she feels and the facts that she has.

Susin - posted on 01/15/2012

Well, this original post was so long ago, I suppose answering it would be a mute point...but I've read it, so here goes! I would refrain from giving my opinion as it would be HER choice. I would give her correct information and tell her I support her in any choice she makes. All choices are hard, but they are also personal, there is no one size fits all.

Now...as to the countless 'adoption is so great there are so many couples who want a child' responses. A 'child' is not what they want, they want a shiny new 'baby'. Because if they wanted a 'child' there would not be so many kids in foster homes. My parents are foster parents and I've lost count of all the children they've had pass through only to stay in the system because no one wants them. If only these 'desperate' couples would consider a child and not just a baby....(and a lot of these kids are under the age of two)

Ultimately, the mental anguish from any choice can be great, but with family support I know she can go on to have a happy, productive life.

Sheli - posted on 01/15/2012

Honesty is the best policy. always. But she is faced right now with a very adult decision. The best advice I can give you is to talk to her like an adult.

You would not want to be lectured about bad choices or what you did wrong when you were already facing the most dire consequences of your actions. Neither does she. She wants and needs sound, adult, honest advice.



Also... even if you don't want her to have the baby (I don't know what your stance is on abortion) I would strongly suggest not encouraging an abortion. it is emotionally more traumatic than anyone understands. And if it were my daughter, I would make her think on it for at least a few weeks. I would feel she needed to understand the weight of her actions so it is not an 'easy way out'.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

angie, 1st off just cause of an abortion your not at a highter risk for suicide, depression etc... i had an abortion, im fine. never a second thought. that being said, do NOT give your child your opinion or thoughts on it as this may force your child to follow your thoughts.My husband said he would give the child his opinion,but leave the matter up to the child. and please do NOT allow all the religious crap and all the ppl that use scare tactics. your daughter obviously knows that having a child right now isnt a good idea. support that.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

give her the MEDICAL facts ONLY!!!!!!! and whatever you do, do NOT give her your thoughts on it,doing that may cause her to feel as though she HAS to go along with you. and do NOT give her religious thoughts on it either.

Kathy - posted on 01/12/2012

I have worked with and counseled women who had abortions as teens and young adults. Once they become pregnant with a baby they plan on keeping, they realize that the baby they aborted was a human being and the guilt they feel is incredible. I would be honest if she were my daughter and tell her I think abortion is wrong and I will support her completely if she chooses to give the baby up for adoption.

Lizzie - posted on 01/09/2012

A lot of people overlook the option of placing a baby for adoption. If your family decides that you would like to look into the adoption route, message me, I have a lot of great information and resources.

Sherri - posted on 01/07/2012

Ladies whatever decision was already made as this thread is almost a yr old.

RACHEL - posted on 01/07/2012

Oh Rasheta my heart goes out to you. Before you answer her you better think about how you truely feel about abortion. Also remind your daughter that this is a decission that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. To keep it, abort, or give it up for adoption all have their consequenses. Perhaps she should talk to some other girls who have gone through all three. This is where a family planning clinic or a community counciling center could come in handy. Above all else keep your cool. Trust me she feels like she let you down already and coming to you was most likely the hardest thing she has ever done thus far. Good luck and God bless what ever you decide.

Karen - posted on 01/07/2012

I think you need to sit down and have a long chat to her about it. She needs to realise that Abortion is not just an easy way out, She need to take a little bit of responsibility for her actions as Abortion could damage her chances for having children in the future or she may even regret her decsion or worse still think that she can just carry on having unprotected sex and next time result in an std.
Noone is saying not to have an abortion but it is a huge choice and although the alternatives are not a walk in the park either she may cope better with knowing she has the support.

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2012

It's her decision to make. If she's asking for permission because she needs consent at a clinic, give it to her because if you don't, she'll resent you later.

Natalie - posted on 01/05/2012

*****I just noticed that this post is from almost 2 years ago, so whatever they decided it's done already and I pray that they have found peace with their decision**********



There are so many negative post on here! She's asking for advice not judgement. Now I agree....her daughter is way too young to think about sex let alone pregnancy, but all of that is water under the bridge now. There's a baby on the way and decisions need to be made. And to those who say that a teenager should be supervised 24/7 hasn't been inside most high schools these days. Many teens and even little kids are having sex any and everywhere.....bathrooms, stairwells, the auditorium, the bus, etc. Her getting pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean that the mother is a bad parent. Kids do really dumb things. Peer pressure now is a lot worst than it was when I was a teenager 11 + years ago. Girls try to impress boys and do what they can to keep them, despite their own feelings. Rasheta please have a conversation with your daughter and if you can the father and his parents as well. This is a time where you need to hear multiple viewpoints because you may feel a certain way now, but that doesn't mean you will be happy with that decision later. Your daughter needs to decide what she wants to do and you should support her in that decision. Now as a mother, I would never expect you to raise the baby as your own. Inform her what you are and aren't willing to do so there isn't any surprises later on down the line. Tell her that she won't be partying and clubbing it up all the time. Explain to her that regardless of the baby, she is going to finish school. Look into schools that have pregnant teen or teenage mother programs. I went to one and it was one of the best schools in the area. They had a free daycare in the school and they had a graduation rate of 99.9%! Gather all of the info so you all can make an informed and educated decision. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but God wouldn't give you more than you and your family could bear. Just pray on it and I'm sure that He will give you the right answer. Be blessed!

Amy - posted on 01/05/2012

I would sit her down and ask her how she feels about it. This is about her. If you have any experiences with it then you should share. I have openly talked with my 13 year old about the options if one gets pregnant. She is aware what they are. I told her of my experiences and that if ever she is in trouble I would be there. I would give her my true honest opinion that having a baby at 15 is not a good future for her or the child. My solution would be abortion because to me all that matters would be what is in her best interest. Having a child is not. Adoption is a wonderful thing for a person who is older and can handle the emotions of giving a child away. 15 years are not ready for that. I am 36 and dont think I could handle it. Be truthful to yourself and ask what do you want her to do? Then speak with her and go thru all the options.

Sherri - posted on 01/07/2011

Shawnn and the requiring therapy happens actually more often in cases of adoption and can also happen in cases of keeping the baby.

Safety of Abortion
Surgical abortion is one of the safest types of
medical procedures. Complications from having
a first-trimester aspiration abortion are
considerably less frequent and less serious than
those associated with giving birth
http://www.prochoice.org/pubs_research/p...

Also you are wrong about the legalities of it as well in many many states in the US you do not need parental permission to have an abortion under the age of 18.
http://www.essortment.com/articles/abort...

Shawnn - posted on 01/07/2011

Ok, Rasheta, first of all, you need to answer the first part of the question. HOW DO YOU FEEL? If it was my daughter, my response would be "Abortion is a crime. It is the murder of an innocent life, one that did not ask to be created, but was, in this case, due to the irresponsibility of the two people having sex." And, yes, that is a harsh response, but she and boyfriend THOUGHT they were mature enough to play around. Since they failed in the protection department, they must now endure 9 months of pregnancy. Would I make her keep the baby (so I could raise it while I made her finish school), probably not. That would be her choice to have the baby adopted. However, if she chooses to keep baby, then boyfriend should IMMEDIATELY be served with paternity papers, and a court ordered support system established. Does she understand that an abortion does not just "go away"? That she will remember for the rest of her life? That for some people the experience is so traumatic that they are still in therapy for it years later? Does she understand the health concerns of having an abortion? That it is a MAJOR medical procedure, and like any procedure can to horribly wrong?

Ultimately, the decision is up to her. But, at 15, she cannot legally get an abortion without your approval.

I realize this sounds like I am a complete bitch. However, I would be EXACTLY this way with a child of mine. You and she will be in my prayers! This is going to be tough, no matter what your decision is.

Louise - posted on 01/03/2011

Do not get pulled into this trap! Sit your daughter down and explain to her that you will support her in whatever decision she makes but it is her life and her choice. The decision she makes SHE has to live with not you. Give her as much information as you can find and tell her to sit quietly and read it. She can not pass the buck like this as it will bit you in the butt for years to come if you push her either way. Try and be supportive and keep your feelisngs out of it this is a major decision and one that will haunt her if she gets the answer wrong.

Sherri - posted on 01/02/2011

Sorry but I would be driving her down there for one at 15 she is not old enough or mature enough for sex or a baby. #2 I would never let the girl out of my sight. A girl that young should not be anywhere where there shouldn't be adult supervision for her to be able to have sex in the first place.

Christina - posted on 01/01/2011

Have her talk to other teenage moms. I was a mom at 17yrs old, and I have no regrets about becoming a teenage mom. It was hard, and I don't condone teenage parenting, but it can be done. I became a nurse before I turned 20yrs old and am able to provide a decent lifestyle for myself and my children. If she is scared to raise the baby, have her talk to teenage moms who placed their babies for adoption. I really wanted all my options laid out for me when I got pregnant. I talked to everyone and made an informed decision.

Kristina - posted on 04/24/2010

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my oldest son and it was just last year when when we thought that maybe our then 16 y/o daughter was pregnant. Although it turned out she was not, we still went through a trying time. I was 4 years older and 6 months from graduating from a paramedic program and being able to support myself and my son. For me abortion was never an option. I very seriously considered adoption but ultimately choose to parent my son. My husband adopted him and we have two children in common biologically. And then we adopted out youngest child. Yes, I was older and it turned out that our daughter was not pregnant. However, if she had been pregnant, we would have encouraged her to seek counseling to make an informed choice. Abortion is not an option for us because of the life of the child growing inside. It is not about her taking responsibility. This is not a punishment, this is a life. This will change everything no matter what. I am very close to someone who made a very different choice and terminated her pregnancy when she was in High school. She is still traumatized by that choice 30 years later. It is your daughters choice but she is only 15 and needs to have your input. Get some help. A pregnancy does not have to be the end of your daughters life as she knows it. There are lots of couples that would love to care for that baby and if your daughter does decide to parent, she can learn to do that too. Do forget to include the dad and his family too. If it was one of my sons I would want to know so I could support you and your daughter. He has a right to know too.
May God bless you and your daughter as you go through this difficult time.

MICHELLE - posted on 04/22/2010

SHE DOSN'T NEED TO HAVE AN ABORTION. SHE CAN GIVE THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION.. PLEASE TELL DONT ABORT THIS BABY... I WAS 14, WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD.. I HAVE RAISED MY CHILDREN BY MYSELF WITH MY MOMS HELP..THEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH SECOND CHILD @15... SO PLEASE TELL HER NOT DO THIS .. SHE WILL REGRET IT IN THE LONG RUN!!!!

Deb - posted on 04/22/2010

I'd sit with her and let her know what your feelings are. But she still is a child and a minor. But as others before me said, placing the baby for adoption is a better option as there are many couples who are wanting to adopt. Many are willing to have open adoptions where you and she could have contact and be apart of that child's life. I know I am prejudiced or biased on this subject because I am an adoptive parent.

Davette - posted on 04/22/2010

Mom how do u feel about abortion? Why don't she just have it and give it to someone who could taken care of it and can't have kids no ties to her family . That better than taken an life and also should of not been having sex at all wait go to school enjoy being a teenager

Shelley - posted on 04/22/2010

Wow. Hard one. Your daughter asked how "you felt" about abortion, so obviously she really takes your opinion to heart. Let her know that you appreciate this. She didn't try to sneak off and have an abortion without your knowledge. That in itself should be commended.



My daughter is the same age as yours and she just told me about a friend whose mom just forced her to have an abortion (at 15). My daughter said her friends personality has completely changed. She rude, mean, inconsiderate. Her friend may be dealing with the aftermath of the guilt and have no way to express it. In all truth she is still a child. And to be honest...I think she wants to get pregnant again because of the guilt. She's constantly telling my daughter if she get's pregnant again (because she is still participating in sex)...she'll have it...no matter what.



So it's hard. Your daughter needs to know (as mentioned) abortion is NOT a quick fix...nor is it birth control. She needs to be responsible for her actions. If she does choose abortion, love her through it. I don't agree w/abortion...but I do agree with love. And love is what she needs. She's scared (and rightly so). Speak with her about waiting for sex. And be honest...about all 3 choices (raising, aborting, adoption). Give her pros and cons to each scenario. None of these choices are easy. Especially at 15. But you guys can get through this...together.



You...and your daughter are both in my thoughts and prayers.



Shelley

Angie - posted on 04/15/2010

Bless your heart, that a really tough one. I can't imagine how I would feel in one of my children came to me with this question. First I think I'd explain the pros and cons of abortion to her; depression, increased risk of suicide, infertility, etc..... I would also offer her the option of adoption. There are many infertile couples in my family and I have seen the joy that adoption has given them. I know it would be difficult for her to go through her pregnancy but it is the supremely loving choice to give a childless couple the baby that they yearn for. Good luck!

Louise - posted on 04/15/2010

This is not a decision that should be yours to make. It is erelevant what your thoughts on abortion are. This is for your daughter to make the decision as she and she alone has to live with the aftermath. All you can do is guide her through her choices and be supportive. Tell her that this is not a decision that can be made lightly. She needs to know the truth about pregnancy birth and raising a child on very little money and probably no father figure in the childs life. She also needs to know that an abortion is not a quick fix so to speak that she will probably need counciling to combat guilt and the what if's. You really are in for a rough time but at the end of the day your daughter has to take some responsibility for her actions. If you press her to have an abortion and she does not want one within 12 months you could find yourself in the same situation again. Tread carefully here and make sure she is making a decision based on facts and not what she thinks you want! My thoughts are with you.xx

Debi - posted on 04/01/2010

I don't know what I would do should my 17yo tell me she was pregnant. But I know how I feel about abortion and would encourage her to have the baby & put it up for adoption. SO many childless couples out there and while it would be 9 month of her life devoted to taking care of herself for this baby & a lifetime of knowing she has a child out there, I don't know if she could live with the guilt of having an abortion. I've talked to too many women that thought it was the best choice only to have it haunt them for a long time, especially once they married and had children.

I would support her, let her know you're there for her, but take her to talk to someone about birthing the baby & giving him/her to a family. A friends daughter recently did an open adoption and everyone seems very happy and the birth Mom knows she's in a better place with the family.

Best of luck to yall and my prayers are with you as well.

Victoria - posted on 03/31/2010

WELL, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT. SIT HER DOWN AND TALK TO HER ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION. WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY MOTHER MADE ME HAVE ONE AND THAN AGAIN ON THE OTHER HAND IT WAS BETTER FOR ME. SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF NOT GETTING PREGNANT. OUR YOUNG GIRLS DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT SEX IS NOT THE KEY TO SATISFYING OTHER PEOPLE OR TRYING TO FIT IN. I HAVE A SIXTEEN YR OLD AND I STRETCH TO HER TO WAIT BECAUSE BOYS ARE AFTER ONE THING AND WHEN THEY SUCCEED IN GETTING IT THEY ARE THROUGH WITH YOU. I HAVE SHOWED HER THE CHANNEL HAVING BABIES AND LET HER SEE EXACTLY WHERE THEY COME FROM AND THAT IT DO HURT. I HAVE LET HER SEE WHEN I HAD MY LAST DAUGHTER THAT ITS NOT PRETTY TO BE IN LABOR. I HAVE GIVING HER BOOKS AND WE HAVE WENT ON LINE TO SEE DIFFERENT DISEASES. I HAVE EXPLAINED TO HER THAT IF YOU DO EVER CHOOSE TO HAVE SEX DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT AND NOT BECAUSE SHE IS BEING PRESSURED. BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING THAT SHE SHOULD BE WILLING TO DO AND ENJOY DOING BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS. TODAY IM 42 WITH A SIXTEEN,ELEVEN, AND A FOUR YR OLD. I LEARNT FROM MY MISTAKE AT THAT AGE. IF THAT WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO HELP HER AND DONT HOLD IT AGAINST HER SHE MAY HAVE LEARNT HER MISTAKE ALREADY. EXPLAIN TO HER IT'S NOT THE EASY WAY OUT AND GOD WILL FORGIVE HER ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS ASK AND SHE SHALL RECEIVE. GIVE HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE HER CHILDHOOD AND GO FARTHER. EXPLAIN SHE ONLY GET ONE GET OUT TROUBLE FREE PASS AND IF SHE MAKE A MISTAKE AGAIN ITS ON HER.

Joan - posted on 03/31/2010

hi

that's a tough one . i would be as honest with her as possible.if you are against it let her know,also encourage her to give the baby up to a couple who would desperatly(sp) love to have a babythey would be able to give her baby all that she is not ready to give to a baby due to her age.just tell her the truth.

good luck