My 16 year old sons girlfriend is pregnant but her parents seem to think they are help!

Hollie - posted on 05/07/2013

Dont accept what the judge ruled, continue to go to court over, and over, and over again! Take it to the media, mayor, you name it.... Do it all! Trust me i have been in situations i thought impossible and now we have the baby more then they do!

Hollie - posted on 05/07/2013

Joann - posted on 02/24/2013

It sounds like they are just really mad about their daughter being Pregnant. She may just be scared of losing their support at this point. wait intill things settle down. everything may change when the baby arrives. but just like your son is obligated to support his child he also has a right to bond with the baby and have visiting rights. don't waste energy on something that has not happened yet. tell him to keep in contact with her and let her know he cares and wants to be part of her and the babys life. good luck to everyone.

Kristi - posted on 02/06/2013

Momof4--

Move to NE! My daughter's father got 51/49 visitation after we proved abuse and proved that he was a felon in possession of firearms. I was awarded full legal and physical custody but he still got that much visitation.

I am so sorry for what you and your son are being put through. But, it is very admirable of your son to step up and not give up. He is lucky to have you in his corner. These people should not be able to railroad you like this and your "detective" work is fantastic. I hope eventually the right person will see it and do the right thing. If the current judge is buddy, buddy with the girl's family that should be considered a conflict of interest and he should be removed from your case immediately. Keep fighting the good fight.

Thanks for the update. Thoughts and prayers with you all!

Christy Lynn - posted on 02/04/2013

Wow. In case your son does not realize, He does have rights. Once this baby is born only its mother that gave birth (not her parents) has the right to make any and all decisions for her child. What I'm wondering is WHAT ARE THEY HOLDING OVER THEIR DAUGHTERS HEAD that she would allow the father of her child to be treated in this manner. Get your son an attorney, get his rights established even if you have to pay for a DNA test first. HE HAS RIGHTS. I'm goin through something similar with my 18yr old daughter and her nearly 16yr boyfriend who hav a daughter together. The mother of the father had no problem with our children having a relationship despite the age difference, even allowed my daughter to move into and shack up with her minor son under her roof, but is now using her sons age in order to control him so she can try to hav some type of control over my 18yr old daughters baby. and i'm consulting with attorneys to see if she can legally control him now since she has never bothered to with him before or really Any of her children. I wil pray for your son and his situation. They seem like very cruel people and sounds like if he don't make a stand his child will be raised with some screwed up values. Get as many people involved as possible, send out flyers against these people, picket them the courts whatever it takes.

Crystal - posted on 12/22/2012

I would go to your AG, because they have grandparent rights but so do you and he is the father, not her father (hopefully). he has as much right to that child as she does and they can not stop your son from signing the birth certificate, by law. Like i said I would contact your attorney general and see what they advise your son and your self

Shawnn - posted on 12/20/2012

Mom, I'm glad t hat you're making progress! Stick to it, and hopefully with a lot of prayers and video evidence, the courts will finally see the abuse being heaped on that baby!

Until then, love him all that you can, and show him the right way. He'll learn the difference, and he'll eventually start to want to be with his daddy and "good" grandparents.

God Bless you all! and love and hugs to that precious little man

BestMomma - posted on 12/19/2012

I was pregnant at 16 & by state law, automatically emancipated from my parents. You should find out the laws in your state.

And like everyone else is saying, get a lawyer and get shared joint legal & visitation custody.

Momof4 - posted on 12/12/2012

It has been and still is a long and crazy ride full of court battles!



I would like to start with honestanswer did it ever occur to you that we might be the working parents who provide for our children you know roof, food, health insurance etc? Her parents do not work they are on welfare and guess what now so is the 16yr old girl and my grandson! We don't pay them child support we are court ordered to make my checks out to the division of child support, cabinet for family services! So welfare can be paid back. If you had read the original you would have seen that her parents are A crazy and B should be on Jerry Springer!



To the rest of you thanks for the advice. My grandson yes it was a boy, was born without our being allowed there according to the judge that is a women's right and he is not technically his father until DNA comes back. I yes ME! paid for the DNA test as my son was not allowed to sign a VOB (verification of birth) due to his age and it only took 8 weeks for that test to come back. So here my grandson is 2 months old and we haven't laid eyes on him and yes he was named after their dead son. Thankfully I have a son who said he name is not what matters his love is.



We hired a attorney but nothing could even be started until DNA was back. Guess what the docket is over booked and we couldn't get a court date until he was 4 months old! Although the child support office sure got one as soon as momma named my son dad yes guess what we have been paying child support since before the DNA was back! Yet we have never seen the baby. The same judge btw does child support and custody..



So at 4 months we are in court, I have asked for custody as a minor can not be granted custody without a next of friend. We have videos of them doing very inappropriate things with the baby. Such as touching his private parts and telling his grandma to suck it. That's actually the least disturbing of what I have. Still the judge states that this has nothing to do with the mother it is her parents doing it and she is just misguided. Explains to her how these things are wrong and we get to start gradual visitation sometime between now and Christmas as the judge has 30 days to agree to orders presented by both attorneys. We asked for standard they have asked for 1 hour every 2 weeks. I guess the judge according to my lawyer will make something in between and work it up to standard. We also asked for a last name change once DNA was proven and the judge denied us stating a mother could name the baby whatever she wanted!



I seriously don't understand all this. We have tons of pictures of them drunk with him, no car seat, partying with underage drinking, videos of them teaching him to degrade women, use racist terms, the list goes on and on. Yet we work and have never had so much as a parking ticket, I didn't even know where the court house was until all this! We have a nice home, our kids are all respectful and make good grades etc. One is off to college on a full scholarship and we could also provide health insurance if we had custody vs taxpayers paying for him. All I can figure is this girls mom has known the judges father and the judge for years his father is our mayor guess we are in one of those towns!



We did get the sweet angel for 2 hours at Thanksgiving. It wasn't much but it was precious and hopefully within a year we will have every other weekend. My heart goes out to anyone going through this.

MeMa - posted on 11/24/2012

and here i am with the exact opposite .. my teen is pregnant and her boyfriend (now ex) wants her to abort the baby, says she is doing the 'wrong thing' by the baby by having it (HUH??) and the wrong thing by him (selfish selfcentred little shit!) we are 100% behind her, and we were with him also. we were going to help them finish education, finances, support etc. and he told her that "she is lost, and is trying to 'find' herself in a baby" i just wanna punch him in the junk..moron



so thats my rant. sorry. i really feel for your family, and the girl and baby. i think her parents are so wrong. good luck

Michaela - posted on 11/20/2012

Hi, was in the same situation. First of all, they have no LEGAL right to tell your son he can't see the baby. They have control over their daughter, but not the baby. It is the law! Furthermore, when she is in the hospital having the baby, she is automatically emancipated for that time. Your son can tell the to be grandparents that he does not want THEM there. That is the law. They have absolutely no rights over that baby.



Now, my son's girlfriend wanted to live with me and my son. Her parents are divorced. Her mother gave up custody of her and she now lives with her dad. Her dad "allows" my son to see and take the baby for visitation, but does not allow her to really have any kind of relationship with him. It is very sad. I just have to wait until she is 18 and I really don't know what else to do. Her father runs his house like a military camp and is very controlling. Her and my son are no longer together because of this and it breaks my heart.



Hope this helped.

Faye - posted on 10/09/2012

If her parents are set on naming her child after their lost son then "little Richard or Timothy" is going to look funny in dresses and pigtails!

Sarah - posted on 10/09/2012

I don't say this often, but LAWYER UP and FAST!! These people are clearly having some major issues and they need someone to step in and bring them back to earth! Your son has rights, especially if he wants them. He needs to stand up and fight for them. It will probably cost you some money, and it will definitely cost you emotionally, especially in the beginning. (I know that because I was sued for custody of my unborn baby at 18, it is hard stuff emotionally to get through)



Please resist the urge once the baby is born to talk badly about these other family members of this baby's. Remember that while they are misguided in a major way, they also love the baby and the baby will grow up to love them as much as baby loves you and yours. So, don't make baby hear you say bad things about their other loved ones.



In California, I was ordered to notify the father of the birth within 12 hours. Also, I was required to release the child into his custody for 2 hours at a time 3 days a week. I only let you know that info to give you an idea of what to expect. You have a really good case for custody with her parents acting this crazy. She might even want to move out with the baby, which I am tending to think would be a good idea in this case (another thing I hardly ever say) Best of luck to you!

Tia - posted on 10/07/2012

Wow! What a freak show.They seem to think that her child will be a reincarnation of the son they lost.Know that you can't force them to allow you or your son at doctors appointment or even in the delivery room.But,if you don't do something fast they could move away and your family might never be able to see the baby.You just need to have your son file for joint custody as soon as possible.If there is a court order then they have to abide by it.



Just be prepared to pay your sons child support,because I read that minors are usually not required to pay child support,and the paternal or maternal grandparents can be held accountable for it.It might also be hard for him to finish high school too if he is taking care of a baby and working.I would check with a hospital in your area and see if your son can be there in the room to sign the certificate.That is probably what it will come down to,and he needs to try to talk to her to find out when the baby is due first.



Something in me tells me that she might be planning on letting her parents adopt the baby because they have persuaded or told her that she is to young,can't do it without them yadyada.That might explain why they are planning to give the baby their last name.You'd be surprised how many baby's are adopted out without the father even knowing and only finding out later that he had a kid.

Tah - posted on 10/06/2012

Honestanswer..i don't see a problem with that at all....but if they are pushing the father and his family away, then that is a problem. The girl may be theirs, but the baby is not. IF they want to split the responsibility than fine, but they need to be fair...

Morris - posted on 10/05/2012

They can spew all the orders they want. The fact is your son has a right to his child. I would also report a threat on your son's life. I wouldn't take that lightly. Have your son demand a paternity test and have the judge do the rest. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Honestanswer - posted on 10/04/2012

I hear all of these "go get a lawyer" folks talk. However have you tried to talk to the parents of this young girl? Their daughter is a minor and they do have rights over their daughter, and what she does. I agree that a paternity test is needed, however that's after the baby is born. Realize that life isn't fair, and your dear son needs to realize that neither of them are currently able to give a home to this baby. Her parents are taking care of their own child, which is their responsibility. They are trying to keep their child safe. A lot of things that may have been said were probably in the heat of the long moment they were adjusting. Have you thought that they are paying for the doctors and hospital, the ultrasounds, tests, etc. not to mention just monthly insurance premiums, also they will be buying maternity clothes, furniture, baby supplies, and other necessities . Also they are having to adjust their home and life to accomodate this baby. Perhaps you should think about what you would do if your teenage minor got pregnant. I understand your son is the father of the baby, and should be responsible. Maybe her parents should keep a record of all the times that they have to take off work for Dr's appointments and the time they have to take off for delivery and hospital stay, the gas to get to the appointments, the maternity clothes, all the baby's needs, the hosptial and doctor bill, etc. and your son needs to pay for half. After all it is his responsiblity. And please don't think that $60 or $70 a week is going to cover any of the aforementioned, because after the baby comes there's formula, diapers, dr. visits, daycare, clothes, etc. (Hint: Daycare usually cost $150/ week for babies until they walk) So his little $60 or $70 doesn't cover half. Should the fathers parent be responsible for the other amount to cover half of all needed expenses? Maybe you should think about all the monetary, emotional, mental, and physical needs her parents are taking responsibility for.

Helen - posted on 01/19/2012

I'm a family law attorney. Go get a lawyer, your son has rights as does the mother of the child. Her parents; no rights at least not in my state. Find out immediately what has to be done in your state to protect your son's rights.

Deborah - posted on 01/19/2012

Lawyer. Judge. Courts. Bring it to them. Don't let them bully EITHER of those kids. Do they go to school together? can your son get ANY word to her without her parents knowing? Obviously phone calls are out of the question but there are always other methods of communication in this wonderful world of technology.



it's HER kid. Her baby. Her parents can't make any decisions about that I don't think, although a check into your local laws would definitely be the first avenue of research. If they're in love then she has the right to put his name on the birth certificate. What awful people to demand child support but not let the kid be a father. Even if he has to wait until they both turn 18, he can always take them to court for visitation, and if he's a good kid, the judge won't deny your son his visitation based on stupid grandparents who have some righteous stick up their rears. I'm terribly sorry you have to deal with this :( IF anything, look into your local Grandparent rights... I have no idea what those are but I know they exist...Even if the 'minors' issue prevents your son/his girlfriend from doing anything, you are entitled to your rights as grandparents. Look it up. Knowledge is power, and these people are ignorant. Take the upper hand, and good luck.

Dusty - posted on 01/17/2012

Her parents are fucking retarted, first off, & pretty stupid too!! I would petition the court for a paternity test. Once paternity is proven, he will more than likely be ordered to pay child support, (which he should, & seems to be willing to, so kudos to him :) ) but this will also mean that he gets visitation rights. Not sure what the visitation guidelines are in your state, but you can find out through the court, they usually have visitation guideline books that they will give out for free. If you do decide to take this to court, & he is given visitation rights, then if the girl's parents don't allow your son to see his child, they can be held in contempt of court, & will get in MAJOR legal trouble. Good luck to you & your son, I'm glad to hear of a teenager making the best out of a hard situation, & willing to step up to the plate!!

Andrea - posted on 01/16/2012

Interesting thing is, if she decides she doesn't want to be a Mom, her rights don't transfer to them, they transfer to the father of the baby.

Andrea - posted on 01/16/2012

They have NO legal rights to that baby or the decisions concerning it.... unless he and the baby's Mom give up their rights and assign them to the parents.. I'd say it's time to get a lawyer involved.. she can likely keep him away from dr. visits, might be able to keep him from naming the baby, but they can't take his rights away as far as him being a parent and his name being on the birth certificate.. Problem is he will need an attorney to make sure his rights are protected if they're getting their daughter to go along with what they want.



What they will find out is that they have NO rights and should that baby need medical attention, etc. they cannot sign for it legally... only the parents can.

Cathy - posted on 01/15/2012

Nonsense......... it's an unfortunate situation, but there will be no problem after the paternity test. There is no way a court will deny him his rights, especially if your son is willing to accept responsibility. I believe the visitation should be pretty liberal so the baby has a healthy attachment to his/her father. They can't win....



As far as being there for delivery/ultrasounds, unfortunately that probably isn't going to happen... she does have a right to her privacy in that regard. But after the baby is born, the rules change. Sit back and try to be patient... prepare your young son, (a baby himself), what to expect... He has a huge financial responsibility whether he sees the child or not. I believe in the end, that child will be surrounded by love from all sides.... I think it will work out after the adjustment period.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

im michelle's husband and i have been is ur sons place, he does have rights to the baby and all hes has to do is tell the girls dad that he is goin to b in the babys life and that he will do all he can. I regret not being able to fight for my son, and the privilage to be his father. please, dont let this happen to your son. prove to the girls paretns that he will be in the childs life. and this needs to include family court. he and you need to file papers at the family court asap for joint custody.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

get a LAWYER FAST!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! this is his child and YOUR GRANDCHILD

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2012

he has all rights to the child in every way shape and form. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! GO TO A LAWYER ASAP.

Elaura - posted on 01/11/2012

He has his rights he doesnt have to be with the girl at all but thats his baby too. So if he wants to get ready for a long haul, its part of being responsible. Parents need to talk it through too and he cant be blamed it takes 2 to lay down, so they might as well get over it and let them work it out hes going to bein her life forever. Yes he has rights as the father, to be able to see his child physically, financially, emotionally, even visitations but he will have to go to the court and get ready to show he wants to be in the babys life. Yep like everyone else says go to juvinile court in ur state and they can tell you the best advice. He shouldnt miss a thing. As long as you have his back it makes his life easier, so thats good her parents need to let it go. They werent thinking like this when she was out doing grown up things. Cant hold her hostage now, wish u guys the best.

Allison - posted on 01/11/2012

don't know where you live but get a really good lawyer. depending on the state your sons rights will be enforced whether the parents of the gf likes it or not. furthermore your son can also ask for a restraining order against these grandparents and it sounds like he has every reason too. they most likely have no rights depending on where you live. if she leaves his name off the birth certificate he will have to pay for a paternity test and if they want support he can demand one at thier expense to prove he is the father but from there he can get custody, these parents dont seem to understand its his kid as well and by taking him to court they are opening a great big can of worms where a good judge will tell them to but out and mind thier own business. your son as long as he keeps his nose clean will get shared custody and possibly even primary if her parents are really this nuts and she is unwilling to stand up to them. make sure you get a good lawyer its worth the money.



Also on another note since the girl is pregnant at least in Iowa she would immediately become an immancipated minor meaning her parents have no legal right to say anything about her choices. she as soon as that baby is born would be considered a legal adult with exception of drinkin, voting, etc... so her parents have no legal say at least thats how it works here so check out your state laws contact a lawyer and Dept of Human services it almost sounds like the girl is being held against her will and since right now she is emotional its easier to abuse her mentally, DHS would have every right to remove her from the home. but she has to be willing to stand up to her parents infront of them and DHS. if she isnt unless they are caught red handed threatening her or telling her she has no choices there is nothing that can be done to help her.



Good luck. also remember sometimes teenage girls get scared when these situations arise and she may have told her parents something very different from what you have heard/observed. so just remember there are two sides. they could even know something about the girl you and your son dont that is making them act this way. so while i feel for you dont judge to harshly on them until you have all the details.

Erica - posted on 01/06/2012

There's not much your son can do about doctor visits. However as soon as the baby is born your son can go to the family court system and file for partial custody and also request to pay a fair amount of child support. The courts will order dna testing, once the test comes back positive they will give your son and his girlfriend paperwork to update the birth certificate with your sons name. I'm not sure how he would go about changing the babies last name, it is usually the mothers choice in the states I have lived in. Once he is named father, the judge will help come up with a reasonable amount of child support as well as guaranteed visitation.

My suggestion, everytime you get the baby take a picture of the baby when (s)he arrives and leaves. Keep a detailed log of bruises or sickness that the baby arrives with as well as if it happens when the baby is visiting. This way if the parents ever try to state something bad happens when the baby is with y'all, you all have evidence. Oh also, once your son is listed as father he has access to the babies medical records so the family can't prevent him from going to any future doctor appointments.

Good luck

Tah - posted on 01/05/2012

have your son file for shared custody then they will have no say on his part..

http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

Momof4 - posted on 01/04/2012

Thank you for the responses. I think as parents we all 4 need to realize we are the grandparents and these "kids" are the parents. It is going to be very hard on them and they are going to need our full support if they are going to be good stable parents. Which are things I am trying to do with my child. The damage is done now lets make the best of it because this baby will need you for the rest of its life and you will need a good education to support and care for it. I have already called and set up appointments with a therapist and youth advocate to help him understand the full effect of whats going on and what he will need to become and do.

However her parents seem to think that is crazy that she is not going to be a mom she is too young they will make all choices because she is underage and has "no say" and they will raise her baby. The grandmother even went as far as to tell me I will not see it unless under her roof. What they are not realizing is minor or no their daughter and my son are going to be this child's parents for the rest of its life and they will be considered adults themselves in a little over a year.

However the only thing I can find legally is that the parents have control over the minor and the minor has control over their child and grandparents are just that grandparents and have no more rights to the child than normal grandparents minor or no. Although with him being the father they can use their name until we prove paternity and even then he has to petition the courts to change it.

I will be seeking legal advice on all this but thank everyone for their input. I feel sorry for the girl most of all, she loves my son and wants the baby to have his name, the name she chooses etc and her parents are just down her throat. Maybe I will contact children services to look into that and at least explain to her what her rights are so she knows. I know her parents love her but I feel they are just going about this all wrong!

Jen - posted on 01/03/2012

Oh heck yeah; do what you can to get your son's parental rights. This baby will be your grandchild too!

BTW, I think its great your teaching your son to be responsible.

If my 15 year old was in this situation, he'd be in so much trouble; but he'd also be forced to stay in school and maybe get a part time job. I would do the same; offer support until they're adults.

Good luck!

Shawnn - posted on 01/03/2012

get legal advice, and call child services. For her parents to not let her be involved in her own pregnancy is abuse...

Karen - posted on 01/03/2012

I agree completely with Denikka - get a lawyer asap!

Denikka - posted on 01/03/2012

He absolutely has rights. Go and talk to a lawyer, find out what you can do. They are the ones who have no rights in regards to the baby. Even though the girl is underage, from what I understand, she is legally emancipated while she is pregnant. She has the legal right to make whatever medical and legal decisions she wishes in regards to her pregnancy.
If they expect him to be there financially, or even if not, he has every right to go for visitation. Naming, Dr's visits, even being at the birth...well, I would believe that those are up to the mother. But once that child is born, he has every right to be in in his/her life.
Take them to court for visitation. Refuse to pay child support until you get at LEAST visitation, if not joint custody. They have no right to keep your son from his child.