my 16 year old wants to spend the spring vacation with her boyfriend at his house ???
Chrjramm1 - posted on 09/05/2011
my 16 years old wants to be visiting her boyfriend every other Sunday, I really think is wrong but I'm afriad she can rebail against me. I have tald her that I desaprove that but she gets angry and said she will call a taxi to go or run away, I really don't know what to do?????
Michelle - posted on 04/11/2010
I wouldn't let my daughter (17) spend spring vacation at her boyfriends house. Going and visiting is fine and there are even special circumstances for spending the night (boyfrinds/girlfriends spending vacations with entire family, if they went to a family gathering that ended very late, etc..) but under no circumstances would they be allowed to sleep in the same room or same floor if i could help it. I think at 16 & 17 teenage girls need to especially be reminded to respect themselves and not put themselves in situations that they have to start making difficult choices about sex.
Victoria - posted on 04/11/2010
I truely dont believe that. You r the parent and Im gonna make the decision that my child is not staying at a boy house by letting her stay regardless if she do it r not. Its true kids do find a way,but Im not gonna give her my blessing to do it. Because who to say she will be over there. Thats y we r the parents and they r the kids. To set ground rules and they follow them.
Victoria - posted on 04/11/2010
call me old fashion. but hell no. she is a 16 yr old child and she do not need to be spending anything with her boyfriend,but time at a movie,on a date, or going out eating or shopping. I have a sixteen and she still not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. maybe at seventeen. She is more than welcome to be friends with one. If you chose to let her date set ground rules and stick with them. Always remember you are the parent and your opioion is what counts when it comes to things like that.raising kids are hard remember when we were kids. Be understanding,listen,let her talk, and let her understand that spending a night with a boy is not safe or a smart thing to do. If he care anything about her he would understand. He wouldnt want her to spend a night because thats disrespectful to you,his parents, and mostly her.
Tanya - posted on 04/09/2010
If you're not ready for the possibility to be a grandmother, then I wouldn't even entertain the thought. Teens have raging hormones and things can get out of hand even if they know and acknowledge they shouldn't engage in sexual activity. She may sneak around but don't give her the excuse to either lay blame on you in the future or take the inch to a mile! lol Good luck and stay strong! :0)
i`ve just read some of the comments and i guess that ur in the good old usa its abit different ova here in england all i say is if you trust ur child and have spoken to her about the dangers of having unprotected sex then apart from chaining her in her room u gotta start trusting some time and in my experince even if u say no if she wants to do anything then she will find a way but if u give her trust tell her that her viriginity is the most precious thing she has and once it is lost she will never get it back talk to her like an adult not a chld it worked with mine xxxxx
to me i`d much rather know where she was and safe and to be honest if there gonna do things wouldn`t you rather she be safe than her sneaking about. My daughter is 16 and she stays at her boyfriends house with his parents so i know she`s safe xxx
Heather - posted on 04/09/2010
No way. Even if they "Stay in separate rooms". His parents have to sleep sometimes right? I was a teenage pregnancy and my boyfriend stayed the night a lot on the couch (wink-wink) at least he was always on the couch by the time my mother got up in the morning.
Donna - posted on 04/09/2010
Are you kidding me? Who will be ther to watch them. Does she tell you she is a virgin? Have you put her on birth control just in case? Have you had the talk with her. Take her to a gyn and have them tell her the risks of having unprotected sex. Show her some pictures. You may be able to trust her but always be prepared. They are at a age where they experiment. And she will have the knowledge under her belt.
Karen - posted on 04/08/2010
Yeah well I think that is why we are all scared to let our children go because of course 99.9% of them have to be having sex! Everyone has different ideas about sex and their children. You do need to talk to your daughter and do make sure she is adequately protected for sex or you'll be dealing with a pregnancy instead of sexual activity. I most certainly would not be letting her go to stay there. However, if he lives a long distance then perhaps you can invite him to stay in your home instead. Otherwise I think no to any of it is just fine.
Aramanth - posted on 04/08/2010
Actually, when I was 16, I got to stay at the home of my boyfriend over one summer vacation with my parents blessing. I stayed at their home but NOT in his room, his parents had prepared a separate room for me. It was just a chance for us to spend some quality time together since their family had moved about 5 hours away from where mine lived and we missed one another. He stayed at my house other times under the same deal - separate rooms and we didn't spend time alone in bedrooms with the door closed.
It's been 30 years since then, and although we are no longer together - I'm married to someone else, he never did marry - we are still friends and write to one another fairly frequently.
Geraldine - posted on 04/08/2010
Just say no way. Ive a 17yr old and if he said to me that he wanted to do that id say NOWAY. If she is that determent have him stay at urs for a night to suss him out.She is definately sexually active. Talk to her about birth control. Its a dangerous age cause she is so young. In ireland 16 is age of contentual sex (at least it used to be, dont know about now)but still there is no way on earth id encourage it by allowing her to sleep there. call his parents and see what they have to say on this matter. How old is this boy? Maybe his parents will be away on vacation. In my opinion you cant allow it. She may kick up a fuss but in the end she will thank you for doing a good parenting job of not allowing it.......good luck hun
Mary - posted on 04/07/2010
I would say NO WAY!!! 16 - Statuatory Rape Age.. Not a chance.. I have been in this situation and things can turn to bite you in the butt later.. and once you allow her to stay there and she breaks up dont think that she wont think its ok to just shack up anywhere..with any boy at a later date reguardless of her age.
Jane - posted on 04/07/2010
Couple of questions. Is this a family thing? Are his parents going to be there? Do you KNOW his parents and are you comfortable with them as parents and trust they will keep a close eye on them? If no parents or you're not comfortable with them or know them, then I'd say absolutely not. However, if it is a family thing and you like and know and trust his parents, then I would say that it's ok AFTER a discussion with his parents about your expectations.
Louise - posted on 04/07/2010
No way. This is far to young to be playing happy families. If she is this serious I hope you have had "the chat!" You are about to enter the parent trap that I have been in. My son went on holiday with his girlfriend and her family and her family thought it would be ok for them to share a room. When I found out about the sleeping arrangements I went mad and said he would not be going if that was the case. He was nearly 17 but in my eyes to young. I know if children are going to have sex they will do what ever you have to say but as parents we have to guide them as best we can. My son has now been with this girl for two years and they go away frequently but now I have no choice as he is over 18 and I can't stop him. He is off to uni this september so is responsible for himself. I do remind him regularily that I am far to young to be grandma!!!!
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms