My 16 years old son needs friends to hangout with

Pegah - posted on 09/09/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hello my 16 years old son tells me that he has many Friends in school. It none of the kids want to do things with him outside of school. He is very sad and keep asking me why my friends always tell me they are busy but then they hang out with other friends. I really donot know how to help him to find real friends. Any advise would be much appreciated

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Gloria - posted on 09/10/2017

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Hi, Pegah.
I'm new to this community and messed up posting this twice so the comment bubble shows 3 posts. Sorry about that.


Your message went straight to my heart. I have two sons (now 16 and 17). They used to go to regular junior high and also had rainy day friends. I enrolled them in a charter school that emphasized team work. This is where they finally establish real friendships. Unfortunately after one year, I had to enroll them in online school because I sustained an injury which prevented me from driving.

Eventually, I got them involved in extra curricular activities with other home schooled kids. The time they spent with kids who shared similar interests sewed the seeds of friendship. Now as a teen, recall having daily phone sessions with friends that drove my parent's nuts, yet the daily communication allowed my friends and I to grow closer. Today text and chat is an unorthodox way to stay in touch but it is still an effective way for teens to communicate which helps to maintain friendships.

Today my sons are friends with 5 boys. The comradery they've formed is still going strong, even with two of them now away at college.

I encourage you to have your son get involved in one or more activities that really interest him. By getting him around kids that share his same passions, he'll have a great chance of developing deep friendships that he would otherwise have missed out on.
I hope this helps.

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Angela - posted on 09/11/2017

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It's always hard when we see our kids hurting. What are some of the things the other kids all do together? Are there similar hobbies, likes, etc? It may be something the school counselor could help with also to help figure out what's keeping them from connecting? If you attend church somewhere he may find a more accepting youth group there and have friends and activities also. My son found more in common with that group than many of his peers at school. My heart and prayers are with y'all to get this sorted out so he's not feeling isolated.

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