my 17.5 year old thinks i am unfair

Mary - posted on 08/05/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son has a new girlfriend again.. They hang out in his bedroom which is on the 3rd floor. Yesterday i went up and his gf was in his bed, fully clothed and just said hi! My son had jumped out and was on the other side of the bedroom. At least he knew it was disrespectful. I asked them to chill in the front room downstairs as this was making me feel uneasy...
they then left and went out... what do i do?

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Sherri - posted on 08/06/2012

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Why are friends of the opposite sex allowed in the bedrooms anyways? That is a huge no no. Common areas ONLY or they don't come over.

Terry - posted on 08/06/2012

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Kids will push the envelope, if you allow it. If they intend on doing something they should not be doing they are going to find a way to do it. They are much easier to watch and keep out of trouble when they are three years old than 17.5. Since you cannot watch them and shouldn't be trying at that age, you must rely on the teachings that should have been instilled on them at an earlier age.
Since your son understood that it was disrespectful, I don't really see as if you have a lot to be very concerned about.

Be glad that they aren't playing "spin the bottle" out with some group of kids that are really into something they should not be!

From a single Dad (does my comment count?)

Angie - posted on 08/06/2012

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I think all teenagers think parents are unfair....lol...my response is because I love you that much. Bedrooms are off-limits in my house, and my oldest is almost 21. If you don't like it or think it's unfair, you can always get your own place and make your own rules and he knows that and has done it. He chose to move back home knowing what rules he would be expected to follow...he has a curfew too..and chores...but hey, he lives rent free and has a whole new appreciation for it.

Robin - posted on 08/05/2012

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U need to remember that u were that age once. Remind him that this is yor house and as long as he is living in yor house he needs to b respectful to u as well as yor rules. Remind him that he will b turning 18 soon, so if he can't respect yor rules he can always move out and get his own place.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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You are not being unfair they do not need to be in his bedroom to hang out

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Mary - posted on 08/07/2012

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I had a chat with my son today. It was hard but got there. He now understands the rules. I did say if has been going out with a girl for over 6 months, we can talk again... Thank you all so much. Everyone's feedback gave me courage to try to be a good mum....x

Mary - posted on 08/06/2012

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Thank you everyone.. I think I have made a big mistake by not placing rules in the first place. I will know and hope for the best... Thank god for all of you. X

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