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my 17 yr. old son lacks motivation,and will be held back for a 2nd time, i feel like i am at my wit's end is any one else going through this?

Debbie - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Deb - posted on 04/26/2012

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Hi Debbie,

My name is Debbie :) and I just posted the foillowing:
Were exhausted.
The challenges-
My 17 year old senior who is 18 in 2 weeks has 2 core classes to pass (an F and C currently) and some make up credits to do in recovery which reuires computer time. He is so strong minded and stubborn. He recently got in trouble for us exposing his pot smoking. He currently is clen from pot or alchohol ( we are doing UA's) and I beleive he is clean due to his changes in behavior. Tried to get him to go to counseling twice and he backed out last minute.

The positives- He has had a job for 2 years and seems to work hard. Too hard- today he skips class to cover a shift since they had no one to cover. I appreciate his hard work ethic motivated by money but school needs to be priority.

It is hard to take away his car when he needs rides to work and we live far out of town as we are not always available. When we disagree he has left several times and refused to come home for days. We have a 14 and 11 year old too and our contsant battles have affected them. He seems to be going through normal teenager angst and attitude. (my parents are dumb, they do not understand, I can be in charge of myself, you favor the younger siblings ect...) Also he has come out as bi-sexual this year and I know that has been hard for him at school.

My husband and I have tried everything. We feel at this point, he knows what he needs to do to graduate and if he does not, it is his own actions that caused this. We cannot force him into attending school and doing homework. I feel saddened that he may not graduate. I have literally been so stressed this year I have been sick with shingles due to stress. Do we just relax on the reminders and nagging and put it on him to graduate? If we bug him it seems to make him rebel about school. Anyone gone through this?

Thanks for the support. "

I am concluding after 2 years of exhaustion that he must do it himself. If he fails its all on him if you have supported him and tried to guide him. It's very frustrating though. We have not failed, they are failing themselves. Hang in there, I hope he kicks in as I hope for my son!

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