My 19 year old daughter wants to move in with her boyfriend.
Frank - posted on 02/07/2013
please help me i'm not a mom but a single dad my girlfriend is 19 she has a 10 month baby she wants to leave but her mother keeps having everyone arrested when they come to pick her up.she wants to leave and come live with me but her mother say's she can't take the baby . what can i do and what can she do?i have a nice apt and plenty of room for them both her and the baby will want for nothing
Angie - posted on 06/20/2010
All you can do is express your concerns and let her go. In time, she will probably see her mistake. Whatever you do, stay involved with her and her boyfriend. Have them over to dinner, go out together so that you continue to have a connection.
TONI - posted on 06/16/2010
THEY DONT HAVE TO LIKE YOU!!! YOU NEED TO KEEP A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER FIRST AND FOREMOST!!! SHE IS GROWN NOW!! SHE HAS TO MAKE HER OWN MISTAKES!! DONT PUSH HER AWAY NOW THAT SHE IS GROWN!!! ALLOW HER TO MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS AND JUST BE THERE IF IT BACK FIRES WITH OUT SAYING I TOLD YOU SO BECAUSE I AM SURE YOU MADE A FEW MISTAKES IN YOUR TENAGE YEARS!!! SHE HASNT WAITED ALL THESE YEARS TO BE GROWN, TO NOW BE TOLD WHAT TO DO!! DONT PUSH HER AWAY! BE OBJECTIVE!!! TALK WITH HER IN A LOVING AND CARING MANNER! LET HER KNOW YOUR FEELINGS COME FROM LOVE IN ORDER TO SOFTEN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO CONTROL A PART OF HER LIFE!! AND DONT TRY TO CONTROL THE SITUATION!! HELP HER IN ANY WAY YOU CAN TO BE COMFORTABLE SO YOU CAN STAY CLOSE WITH HER!! AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HUSBAND!! ITS NOT LIKE YOU WILL BE LEFT ALONE WHEN SHE LEAVES LIKE SOME PEOPLE!! THAT COULD BE DEPRESSING!!! GOOD LUCK!!
Jane - posted on 06/11/2010
The surest way to drive her away is to argue with her and try to talk her out of it.
I understand this is tough, but hopefully, if you remain calm and understated, it will give her reason to defend you to the prospective MIL. That being the case, she will likely come to see your side of it much quicker than if you are arguing with her about her decisions.
Just say something like, "Well, at this age, I guess I better be ready to trust you to make your own decisions. The one thing I want you to remember is, there's always a place here for you. That said, I'll see you for Sunday dinner, and do you need help packing?"
Andrea - posted on 06/11/2010
Talking as an adult who moved in with hubby (then boyfriend) at the age of 19 I can certainly say that my MIL does not like my parents but my parents have never interfered or got involved with my MIL and have never bad mouthed my in laws to mine or my husbands face. I appreciate that my parents have kept their opinions very low key over the years and all they have ever been interested in is my health and happiness. And that the boyfriend has respected me and my family.
To me there seems no hard and fast rule that you as the parent should be best buddies with the prospective in laws, my parents and in laws have been and always will be aquaintances. My parents as far as I am aware are not too bothered by it. So personally I would just support your daughter in what she wants to do, if she is talking to you and her boyfriend is respectful and a nice chap and treats your daughter right then you are doing a lot better than some families.
Telika - posted on 06/10/2010
hey well,she is grown and it can be a learning experince,i don't see a problem.
now the parents the berst advice i can give is have a meeting to see what the problem is and if you guys can come to a truce for your children's sake if they don't want to don't worry about it you did your part and life goes on as long as her boyfriend respects you o well,lol give it time time heals all wounds ggod luck
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