My 19 yrs old son his not working

Alice Monalisa - posted on 04/28/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 19 years old son is a drop out he never worked in his life he is not even showing interest of looking for when I ask him he will just say his looking for job if it's weekend he will ask me for money to go out with his friends I feel pity for him

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Michelle - posted on 05/02/2017

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You aren't helping the situation at all. Why would he want a job when he can laze around all day and you will pay him for it?
Like the others have said, stop giving him money and feeling pity for him. He is an adult and needs to support himself. See how fast he gets a job when you cut off the money. Like Ev said, give him notice that since he an adult he will have to contribute to the household bills, rent/board, power, etc.
It's your job as a Mother is to teach him to be an independent adult, not a mooching child. Unless you want a 30yo still living at home and you paying for everything, take action now.

Ev - posted on 05/02/2017

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Do not pity the boy as that is the worst thing you can do and do not give him money to go out with friends because if you do it once you are liable to do it again. You are going to enable him to think everyone else will take care of his needs or him. You need to send the message home that he needs to do one of a few things:

1) Finish school and get his diploma.
2) Find a job and finish high school.
3) Come up with a plan for room and board for him to pay, rules that apply to all adults in the house including keeping a job, paying room and board on time, following those rules, or move out.

Amy - posted on 04/30/2017

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I do not have 19 year old son (mine is 11), but I do have a brother and I witnessed a similar thing with him and my mom. He ended up graduating, but did not find a job within his field and has been dependent on my mom and his girlfriend (I don't even know how he got a girlfriend with his situation!) for awhile because I feel he is being extremely picky with his job search. Honestly, my mom feels pity as well, but I think the real issue is instead of putting her foot down she is just hoping he will find his way with her nice support. Since I am the sister, he does not care what I have to say since it's between him and my mother. I know he asks money to go out, but maybe you need to put your foot down for him to find any job for now and continue looking until he finds something he is interested in. Maybe if he gets a job, you can help him out money wise, but I disagree with giving free money because it will be harder for you to support him down the road and he will have a harder time to support himself. I hope this helps because I have been telling my mom this and she is already in retirement age!

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