My boys pick on my daughter

Heather - posted on 06/18/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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call her fat and tease her she is the youngest of four is this normal I cant seem to make them be nice and loving they are 13 and 15 she is 9 and my 11 yr old gets some of it as well? i was an only child so I dont understand this behaviour

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Julie - posted on 01/11/2011

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yes older brothers pick on younger sibblings especialy sisters. you need to sit your sons down and tell them that it is not acceptable to be talking to their sister like that and that there will be consequences if it carries on. get dad on your side and have him reinforce the issue and tell them. i had 2 older brothers one lived with my dad so i only saw him at weekends but the other i lived with full time and he was horrible i really can say i hated my brother and my mother didnt think it was so bad so she did nothing. i dont see that brother now because he has never changed he cant talk to you for longer than 5 minutes without starting. please try to stop them and explain to your daughter that they are jerks are not to take the hurtful name calling to heart.

[deleted account]

its sibiling rivalry....my kids do it too....My son is 15 and my daughter is 12 and yes....I think its part of growing up and being in that "teenage" stage. I went through it with my brothers growing up too. But I tell my daughter not to let it bother her because her brother is hormonal. She laughs and moves on.



Just to reiterate, I don't condone him picking on his sister and he does receive some type of punishment, like hitting him where it really hurts (taking away his cell phone). We know he hates to loose his phone so lately its been working and my kids have stopped picking on each other.

Renee - posted on 06/18/2009

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I have 2 boys. 11 and 17. They would just be down right mean to each other and I got tired it. I finally put my foot down. We had a talk about respect and family and I let them know it was totally not acceptable to treat each other this way. The hard part was the punishment. How do you punish differences in personalities...It was the differences I was punishing it was the disrespect. Every time one of them attacked the other they had to stay in there room...no tv, ebox, phone, radio..anything til they could come down and tell me why they were wrong and apologize from the heart not just that I made them. It took only about 4 months for this to finally start working and they are the best of friends now. They still won't admit that though lol. I feel personal attacks are mean. You can joke about not liking clothes or a certain style but when you attack a person because of the way they look that is just plain hurtful and i wouldn't take it. Hope this helps.

Shelly - posted on 06/18/2009

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Heather,

They do this because you allow it... Yea you may do the entire don't talk to them in that manner but what you need to be doing is making it hurt start taking things away ie: computer time, friends, x-box, cell phone and anything else that is near and dear to them. I was raised with 7 brothers and sisters and we were never allowed to talk to each other in that manner or we would still be blowing bubbles or walking/talking funny for awhile and to this day I still do the same with my boys...It is a behavior and a bad one at that it needs to be corrected. Ask your self this "would I allow my children to talk to a total stranger in this manner?" If the answer is NO then why would you let them talk to each other that way. You also need to find out what the two younger ones are doing to trigger this behavior and nip that in the bud too. Good Luck

Claire - posted on 06/18/2009

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Yes Heather..unfortunately..this is quite normal, especially at the ages they are at. I have a similar problem with my 11 and 16 year old. Siblings will bicker and fight while they are youngsters. It can carry on later in life too, depending if their personality's clash. They could also be best friends and loving and caring too as the reach mature ages. Just remain loving and caring yourself and the children wil learn by example. Hope this helps :)

Claire - posted on 06/18/2009

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Yes Heather..unfortunately..this is quite normal, especially at the ages they are at. I have a similar problem with my 11 and 16 year old. Siblings will bicker and fight while they are youngsters. It can carry on later in life too, depending if their personality's clash. They could also be best friends and loving and caring too as the reach mature ages. Just remain loving and caring yourself and the children wil learn by example. Hope this helps :)

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