My daughter of 16 years is being bullied by a girl who keeps ending her nasty texts . What do I do.

Mrs Susan - posted on 03/31/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is being bullied by a girl who keeps sending her nasty texts and is being nasty all the time. She was going to go to the police with her friend but doesn't know what to do. Is there someone I could contact or should I simply take her mobile off her.

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America3437 - posted on 04/02/2012

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I think you should take your daughter and her cell phone to the police. It is sad that parents stand by and let this happen because they don't know what to do or where to go. If it's happening in school then you should talk to the principal first. My children were being picked on because they are part mexican and beng called names so I called the principal and he told me to learn to deal with it because of where we live (in the middle of red neck country) so I hung up the phone and called our superntendant and told him it was unacceptable and if he couldn't put a stop[ to it I would see him with a lawer next time. That was the end of it. No more problems but we have a staff thaat really cares about our kids. If it isn't happening at school or maybe both then I would visit with the local police about it. Show them these messages and they can talk to this child. I am a hot head so my first call would be to this child's parent but that just me. All I know is you have to help her with this and stay involved! Don't let your daughter go through this alone.

Barbara - posted on 03/31/2012

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This is always really hard because if you step in to handle this on your own, in all likelihood she will get bullied more. You just don't know how the parent will react if confronted with this even showing proof with the phone. It could either go well, with an appropriately horrified response from the parent followed by disciplinary action, or more likely, the parent will deny, "not MY child" and you'll be dragged into the bully-mix lead by the parents! Happens all the time, sadly.

I would go to the High School (who SHOULD have a zero tolerance for bullying) and show them the cell phone. Ideally your daughter would do this herself, but she's probably too scared to do this on her own. The HS counselor should be able to help deal with this. If no HS counselor, start with one of your daughter's teachers who she trusts AND hopefully the teacher can help guide you to seeking proper help for your daughter. Saying this is happening, and actually being able to show proof are two different things. Showing the texts opens up a case of facts rather than "she said, she said" statements that can be denied. Good luck with this, but please jump on it!

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Lee - posted on 04/11/2012

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As a country, we need to take a page from New Jersey. They have put anti-bullying laws on the books. Your daughter should not have to change her number. There should be strict laws regarding bullying through communication devices and social media for minors. I don't know what kind of phone you have, but iPhones have an app called iblacklist. This app allows you to send texts and call from unwanted numbers to a passcoded location. This way you still have them as evidence, but your daughter never has to see them. You install the app and then don't give her the pass code. If there are any threats of physical violence, go directly to police.

If not, go to the superintendent of the school district and speak to him/her, especially if some of these texts are occurring during school hours.

You can also contact this bully's parents. A phone call or a letter to make them aware will cause them to be liable if their daughter continues.

If you know them and don't think that would help, contact an attorney to send them a letter threatening a civil law suit if they do not force their daughter to cease and desist immediately.

Most importantly, stay on top of this. Keep asking your daughter to share what is happening. Be supportive but insist on knowing.

I wish you and your daughter the best. I know it's taxing taking on one bully at a time, but until laws catch up with modern technology, this is the boat we row.

Devorah - posted on 04/10/2012

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I know you have received a lot of responses, but here is one more... first, block the other girl's number from your daughters phone. second, print out the texts, third, this is bullying, and should be brought to the attention of the school, most schools take this very seriously. this is not a case of " girls being girls". you should insist that the other girl's parent's be brought in as well. what the school should do is talk to your daughter separately, then talk to the girl doing the bullying and her parents. in our school this is grounds for suspension, or detention. the school may also involve the police, and if they don't, make a report. at least the police can talk to the other girl as well so she realizes the seriousness of what she is doing. not everyone has to get along, not everyone has to be friends, but this behavior crosses the line. good luck, and tell your daughter most people bully out of low self esteem, it's really a power thing.

Mrs Susan - posted on 04/02/2012

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My daughter has blocked the girls number but still will not show me the texts and says that she wants me to forget it but its hard I cannot. Just hope things improve after Easter.My daughter wants people to like her and does lie to us so we have to be careful. I might ring the school and get put in the picture because she has told someone at school.

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