my daughter shaved her arm hair, any advice?

Amanda - posted on 12/17/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 11 and seems to be self-concious about looks allready. She has very dark hair so her body hair is also dark. She had asked me this summer if she could shave her legs and underarms, i had agreed and showed her how and gave her razor, cream, ect. Now I have noticed she shaved the hair off her forearms? She told me she was bored and said she would not do it again. she also shaved her upper lip, I tried talking to her about other methods of hair removal, and that she shouldn't worry about body hair, there is supposed to be hait on these parts of her body. Isn't she just too young to be worried about such things? Any feedback of advice..I feel she is growing up way too fast and she does not seem to be sharing with me.

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Kelsie - posted on 04/09/2013

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I am 14 now and I have always had that problem to. I used to get made fun because I have such dark hair so my arm hair is dark and my upper lip to. I decided I was tired of being made fun of being called that I looked like a man and many other things so I decided to shave my arms when I was in the sixth grade and I havnt done it since. It just wasn't for me but many of my friends have and still do it and their hair on their arms are really thick and grows back really fast. I personally don't think it is a good idea to shave or arms or upper lip if you have a problem with it just look at natural ways to remove it or make it lighter.

Julia - posted on 01/14/2013

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I've been shaving my arms for 25 yrs and I'm Sicilian.I always hated having dark hair on my body,My daughter is 16 and is light because my husband's Irish.She shaves all over and it's fine.Remember being 11 hormones raging,boys, etc,,,, She just started to notice her appearance,how she looks,boys all normal stuff.It shouldn't be a problem shaving the hair doesn't grow back any thicker or faster.She's fine don't read into all the silly stuff she does,just love her and be there for her.

Patricia - posted on 12/28/2012

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Well big no on the shaving of the face- eeek, but everything else shouldn't matter. Show her how to wax or bleach the hair on her face.

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My daughter is 12 and she shaves everything. Pubic hair included. I still help her with that but everything else she does. I don't see a problem with it. I like to be clean shaven too!

Gracen - posted on 10/14/2012

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I am 11 as well and I used to shave my arms even though they weren't that bad and now they are very dark and thick. People tell me at my school I'm "hairy" a lot. Just try to help her out cause the same thing might happen to her. Try buying hair removal cream so it can grow back less dark and thinner

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Tori - posted on 01/13/2013

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When I was little I took scissors to my eyebrows! It's ok I felt this way too... I suggest veet or bait on her upper lip and arms and doing it once a week before a shower so then you can wash or all off and not have that smell on you. Also let her know it is ok she feels this way but if she shaves it with a razor too much it will come back hard and thicker and stick up straight

Ciciberry - posted on 11/08/2012

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hi, i am 12 yrs old and i was like that too. She is not too young to worry...i would just tell her the things she has to look forward to if she does like growing longer and thicker quicker...i did not though shave my upper lip but i want to so she just did but yes... i think that she does not have to worry about facial hair until late 20's early 30's. if you have more questions jus ask thanks...

Lisa - posted on 12/30/2009

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I feel for her I too am a dark haired girl and have struggled with it everywhere my whole life and actually I too shaved my arm hair at her age I am so glad I am not the only one in the world to do that just try to comfort her and support her but let her know for me it is a life time habit she has started for now it will grow in darker and thicker I just make shaving all over a every other day habit in the shower and by her a really good razor. My heart goes out to her.

Keshanna - posted on 12/29/2009

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My daughter shaved her forearms when she was about 9 and she still does sometimes but the more i told her the more she wanted to prove that it wouldnt grow back thicker but i wouldnt worry shes 12 now and she isnt growing up fast thats least of your worries is her arms i would say pick more important battles

Denise - posted on 12/29/2009

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My daughter has been shaving her arms since she was in the 4th grade,she is 12 now. It use to make me mad as hell. I would tell her not to do this,butshe started doing it behind my back which made me more mad. So we talked about it and came up with an agreement she can only shave in the summertime. and she doesn't do it behind my back anymore. It works for us.

Shelia - posted on 12/28/2009

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Nothing wrong with that. I'm a nurse. You don't grow more hair just b/c you shave it, it just becomes stiffer and doesn't turn black unless it is already got the pigments to do so. It's a self-esteem issue. Let it go, it won't hurt anything. My 3 daughters shave their arms too. It's not a tatoo :)

Jeyn - posted on 12/27/2009

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I have to agree with most of this advice...this is a very normal part of growing up. Definitely make sure it's not stemming from something else. If she's feeling peer pressure, it's good for her to know she can talk to you or if she is also doing things like constantly washing her hands or avoiding touching metal, etc...you may want to watch for other signs of OCD. But, chances are, it's just a normal phase of growing up and these days, age 11 sounds about right, so don't worry too much.

Mary - posted on 12/25/2009

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I think removing the hair with Nair or a similar product is fine. My dd is now 18 but has suffered with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome as a teen. One symptom is extra hair growth. She shaved it at first but uses Nair and things like that now. As a teenager this should be looked into if it is a very noticable amount. Especially on her back and behind. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome can be corrected with hormones or insulin depending on the severity.
I say let her remove the hair. Its hard enough feeling normal as a tween or teen!!

Lorraine - posted on 12/25/2009

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I did the same when I was her age and shaved my arms tell if she leaves it it will thin out and lighten... mine did and im dark haired .. my daughter did the same when she was about 11,I think its that age... I explained to her that some areas would get darker and thicker so not to do those areas..ie upper lip and arms and she never has since .Kids all grow up before their time but just keep communicating I have 2 daughters 16 and 9 we have mum and daughter time we talk, I make them talk about every thing I ask them questions and give them age appropriate answers when they ask questions....good luck pre teen is a hard age group

Chris - posted on 12/21/2009

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find out if this is stemming from peer pressure or just her own feeling.if she is feeling self concious about the hair let her continue to remove it. look into other means that she can safely use to remove the hair other than a razor

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Tough, I know. 2 of my girls have dark hair. As much as I do not like it I bought them Nair Hair removal for their upper legs this summer. They were much happier.

Debbie - posted on 12/20/2009

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I am a mother of three and also a HairStylist/ skin consultant. I see a lot of this and I say if she feels ashamed about this then what is the harm in helping her get rid of unwanted hair there are different ways to get rid of facial & arm hair she should not shave it (most of the time if you shave it will become course )a safe & inexpensive way is to take her & have it waxed it will eventually become thinner over a time but if this makes your teen happy what is the harm think of it as good grooming habits she likes to be & look clean there are worse things

Joy - posted on 12/19/2009

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She's not too young at all. I was nine when I started shaving my legs and underarms because of dark hair and so were my daughters. I wanted to shave my forearms but a story from my mother about shaving her own kept me from doing it.

It's going to look silly as heck growing back and she's the one that's going to have to cope with that. As far as shaving the upper lip I'd get her some Nair for the face because shaving (despite all theories to the contrary) will leave her with thicker hair there.

It is not at all uncommon for kids to worry about their looks, they do compare themselves to their peers. Don't stress too much unless you see other behavior that might indicate she's getting picked on about her looks.

Sherri - posted on 12/19/2009

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My daughter was around the same age when she started telling me she wanted to shave her forearm hair. And her hair isn't even that dark! Kids worry about these things a lot younger than we used to. She'll get past it. Leigh has some great suggestions!

Leigh - posted on 12/17/2009

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Talk to your hairdresser! Boys and girls will shave everything. Make sure she is not being teased at school. Take a mother daughter day to have your eyebrows done. Discourage shaving the arms...dark hair grows back thicker and darker...the stubble may be irritating to her and she may shave again, you may want to use a hair remover creme to get rid of the root and regrow the hair thinner...what ever you decide talk to your daughter about things on your body you don't like. Everyone has a flaw! and that is okay! The worst thing I ever heard from my kids is "...MOM!!!! Pat shaved his pubes in the shower and left them!!! Gross!!!" Mom!?! Sorry it is graphic but the kids get ideas from their friends and try it. Welcome to having a teen. You are in for a ride of your life. Keep an open mind and remember you were young once.They need your guidence. Always tell your kids they are beautiful and you love them just the way they are. but if you will be happier like this its okay too.

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