Gieneveve - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
I need some advice. My 14 year old daughter is a terrific girl. She started dating a boy that was 16 last January. My husband was not happy about it at all. He is very strict and I am more lenient. They do not go to the same high school, but he lives in our neigborhood. He allowed them to see each other, but only on weekends and at our home. For some background on the boyfriend, he is not the nicest kid. He is kindof a troublemaker. He admitted to my daughter that he used to do and sell drugs and that he was a heavy partier. He goes to an alternative school because of his anger with authority as well.
I was more ok with their relationship and became quite close to my daughters boyfriend. He lost his mother at the age of 12 and I also lost my mother at the age of 14. He would call me Mom and I would take them everywhere. I didnt' really agree with them not being able to see each other more, so I would sometimes sneak my daughter to see him. My husband found out and became very angry. We got in 3 major fights about it and almost got divorced. The boy was upset about how my husband treated me and my daughter (yelling, breaking things)
My husband was really trying to be ok with the boy being around more and at the start of summer, he spent 4 days in a row with the family doing things. One night, he was arguing with my daughter outside our home (yelling about how he doesnt get to spend enough time with her alone) and my husband came outside and said he needed to leave. The boy went off on my husband and called him all sorts of names, cussed at him and got in his face. From that point on my husband has forbid her to see him.
My husband's whole family has blamed me for this. They say because I promoted the relationship and lied to my husband, that I deserved to be yelled at and that I should be ashamed. I just think that I would rather be involved than not know anything.
Now my daughter is sneaking around and texting, facetiming him and seeing him behind our backs. She has been intimate with him (her first) He has even talked to me and said that he wants to come an apologize to my husband and that he loves my daughter. Every post that I have read, says that parents should never forbid their children to see someone, but my husband will not budge and I fear that I might lose my daughter. Right now she is still talking to me, but she is angry. I don't really like how this guy treats her, but I fear that telling her she can't see him will only make her want to be with him more. What do I do????