Rather Stay - posted on 12/14/2011 ( 160 moms have responded )
I have been advised by my church family that since my husband is repentant, has confessed, and is going to counseling/therapy, that I should continue on trying to reconcile my family. My pastor said that no one sin is worse than any other sin in God's eyes, and that divorcing would just show my daughter that running away is the answer when something horrible happens in a marriage.
My own family (non-Christians) have indicated that they feel I am choosing my husband over my daughter by remaining married to him, and they want me to get a divorce and leave him.
He can legally have no contact with her, this all happened two years ago and I found out about it about a year and a half ago. My daughter will be 16 soon, so I do not expect reconciliation, if it can happen, before she is 18. I am looking at 2 years of mandatory separation from my husband, at any rate.
So far, I have seen true repentence (as truly repentent as a non-Christian can be) in my husband, and my spirit is willing to continue trying to forgive him and eventually reconciling my family. My mind is in a constant whirlwind of anxiety and doubt about reconciling, because I am mainly concerned about what is best for my daughter...leaving the man who violated her (and my) trust and ripped apart any chance of her having a positive male role model in her life, or making a stand against what the world would do and try to make a graceful, forgiving stand (and hopefully be a good role model for my daughter this way) for my marriage?
I wish there was a clear answer on what I should do which sends the right message to all parties involved.
I guess my question is...has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do? How did it work out?