Roseanne - posted on 07/17/2010 ( 65 moms have responded )
After spending the night with my broken heart only shared with a box of tissues i still have not come up with what to say. My daughter whom is barely 14 has had sex with a 15 yo boy. She had shared this secret with my best friends daughter., they have known each other since birth and have always been good friends. Poor jill felt sick with despair when she told me, but said that their friendship must remain in tack. Her daughter was so devistated she just had to tell her mum, only if she promised never to tell a soul or their friendship would be over.
When she 1st told me i just wanted to go and get my child and hug her tight and keep her safe. I was totally gutted...i have never felt pain like this....my main concern was why she chose to do this. We talk often about sex, boys love right and wrong oral sex as i'm quite open, i always though this day would come but never this early.
I'm sure it's self esteem issues, let me give you an outline on my daughter, since she was a toddler, she's always been quite, passive and layback, like her father, not nerotic like her mum, , she was always the bigger kid, the tall one and in late primary no boys showed any interest in her, she hit puberty early and everthing changed., it just appeared physically, She was never one of the popular children but had friends., her best friend always lived away, but our families have always remained close and at the end of the year they will move here. She got on better with boys always and was bit of a tom boy her self. We plodded through life. Then almost overnight she turned into a swan, she was showered with attention, girls wanted her in their group, and of course boys liked her it was overwhelming., But highschool is cruel and she had rumous going around, kicked out of group to group., it would be intense one minute then it would die down. God knows what is going to become of this. this is big.,
I can tell my husband., he will go bulistic, i've spoken to my sister., she's been great, been there done it., I want to get this kid and slap him, threaten him., as i am sure he was just using her., i want to tell his parents but i know nothing about him. Apparently they did not use a condom., but she told her friend it hurt and he didnt ejeculate (cringe)... and she' wouldnt be doing that in a hurry again.
Look maybe my daughter wanted to see what it was like, i'm not putting all the blame on him., she has self esteem issues., since highschool all she's wanted it to be popular., perhaps this is how she thinks it will happen., not having any close girlfiends and more boys she doesnt realise a teenage boy thinks only about sex....
Jill and i sort of have a plan., she said i'm too much of a basket case to hide my feelings from my daughter, she has my daughter with her at the moment., she has spoken to her own daughter and they both agree an adult needs to be invoved and not teen advise. So Jill will drive her home and say that she had accidently overheard the conversation when she picked up the other phone., and try and get her to open up and perhaps tell me.....Apparently there is already a comment from this boy on face book saying 'she was good'., ............i'm crying again....this is the hardest thing i have ever faced .... any advise would be good.