My son doesn't get it!!! I am worried for him.

Anne Marie - posted on 06/04/2010

I really think that bein a mom in these cases is really hard. We know they are heading down the wrong road. Sometimes if they have to feel the real life consequence, like summer school then they come to realize what it is all about. If he does have to go to summer school then he doesn't work and no money, and oops sorry son I have no extra money works well. Summer school may not be all that bad a lesson. I remember one summer I had to go to summer school, we had fun but really did not want to repeat the scenerio. My son is 18 he had emotional baggage and never completed school. Now he is looking into apprenticeship type of work. He is feeling the pain of not finishing school but there was little I could do about it, we had many professional helping out with us at the time. He is now 18 and I tell him to make the best of his choices. I really hope your son sees the light after summer school if he has to go. Best of luck to you.

Holly - posted on 06/04/2010

To be honest. With my first son who is now 18, I probably cried for 4 years straight. From the time he hit 7th grade to when he was about a sophomore. I think I just numbed to everything after that long of going through hell at home. He was an extreme case and has a lot of emotional baggage. I ended up trying to get him in counseling with an adolescent counselor, he refused to go, so I went every week by myself for almost a year! The person I saw was wonderful and encouraging! Of course the problems never fully go away, because they are children. And now that he is 18, he is seeing how his actions are coming back to bite him. So I guess, this time around with my 14 year old, I see how "easy" he was compared to my first son . :0)

Connie - posted on 06/04/2010

Thank you Gen and Holly! I am somewhat relieved that I am not the only one going through this. I wish he would realize how hard he is making his life by making these poor choices with school. I am sticking to my guns with the permit and no working with Grandpa if he has to go to summer school. If I have to wait until he is eighteen, I don't know if I can take it that long!!! I feel like I've aged 5 years within this last 2 years dealing with him. He is a good kid and I love him dearly. He is missing out on so much right now. Something has to change!!

Holly - posted on 06/03/2010

I have a 14 year old son. Exact same thing! And I too believe, like Gen, it is just something boys go through at this age. My son was "invited" to go to summer school and he also goes to work for his grandpa in the summer. I made a deal with him that if he doesn't do summer school, grandpa will require he do 30 minutes of reading before bed and I bought curriculum online for Math that he will have to do a couple of pages every morning before they start work. Hopefully this will be a good compromise. This school year is pretty much over, so there is not much we can do for the current grades. Today my son skipped class and lied to me about it, so my discipline is taking away his cell phone and by gosh my house will be spotless by the end of the weekend :0) As for when will this end! Keep your chin up because he will outgrow it. I have an 18 year old boy and he is harder on himself about the bad choices he made than I am. They come around...Just love them, encourage them, when necessary, discipline them without losing it (i struggle with this one) Remember, your son is not the only kid out there that goes out and acts like this. And most important, don't get down on yourself. You love him and want the best for him. And behind all of the crap that they dish out to you, they love you too.

Gen - posted on 06/03/2010

I am the same as you with my soon to be 15 yr old son. Honestly I truely think this is a stage that they come out of eventually. It may not be until they are 18 and on thier own. It is hard to know what to do. Keep up what you are doing. Dont give in and make him earn his things. Let him see if he wants to spend all this time playing he wont get what he wants. Meaning he wont get his permit, or the job, or his games, phone whatever.