My son is has made it to 14

Deaunna - posted on 06/26/2012

Hello Brenda! As a professional parent coach, I want to caution you against parenting from a state of anxiety- it only causes your child to mirror back to you the same negative intensity. I know it may be difficult, as I raised a child with ADHD, but I can assure you, learning how to become a calm parent will solve at least half your problems.



Make a plan to RESPOND rather than REACT. A plan of action will give you confidence and enable you to control yourself and accept the fact that you cannot control your child. How do you do that?



Write down situations that escalates you. Now write down a one line sentence that is not sarcastic or mean spirited that will calmly convey your directive to your your son thereby commanding respect.



Commanding Respect:

When your child disrespects you- yells- backtalks, making faces, etc...



Calmly repeat: "do not speak to me that way." or "Do not make that face" or "That behavior is inappropriate."



Key Factors: 1. You must calmly repeat the same sentence until the child stops the negative behavior 2. Must remain calm- even robotic 3. Must use a gentle yet commanding voice 4. Must be consistent every time with the steps above.



To help you with adolescent child:

I just published an article on my website, "Preparing for Your Child's Second Birth' http://supermomscoaching.net/2012/06/pre...



I encourage parents to approach adolescence the same way they approached preparing for the birth of their first child. Here's an excerpt, "Parenting an adolescent without thoroughly educating yourself to the changes that will be happening to your child during this phase of his or her life would be like trying to take care of your newborn without diapers! What a mess you would have on your hands!"



I invite you to contact me for a complimentary consultation where we can discuss your situation and ways I can help you raise a more cooperative, respectful and happy child. Please find my contact information on http://supermomscoaching.net I would love to help you calm the chaos in your home and create a happy family.

Brenda - posted on 06/25/2012

B. Edwards, thanks for advise. We have good days and bad. Today is good day, so he is tolerable. I rely alot on prayers, God helps me alot.. Thanks, and have a good day..

Popescu - posted on 06/25/2012

Trust me,you have no ideea how lucky you are.Myself,I just pray to God every second that my baby boy reaches 14 years.If you could just read my blog,that would be really great.Even a message from you would mean a lot to us! Thank you! http://popescuadelaa.wordpress.com

Kristin - posted on 06/25/2012

Welcome to puberty and teen years. Remeber that all teens and parents go through this and you need to keeo the communication open with your son. I dont know why parents automatically assume that kids shouild be on meds. I am so anti meds and feel that communication, structure, discipline, support and love are what all kids need. Parents also need to remember to take time for themselves and take a lot of deep breaths. My son was an absolute bear from 14 to 15 and now he is 16 we have learnt to communicate better and things are better,

B - posted on 06/24/2012

Well Brenda you must think there is a lot worse underlining what's happening with your son if you are leaning towards medication for him. I am told by many people that almost of this is part of growing up, in this day and age! and had we been aloud to chastise our children when they were younger teaching them right from wrong, to be respectable to all of us! things might be a bit different!!!!! My son went for a sleep over last night, not as a reward for his behaviour because I had a word with the mum and told her if she has any problems and decides for what ever reason they decide the don't want other kids there I would go pick him up!! (She's having similar problems with her twins)10pm I took 2 sleeping pills and have had the best night sleep in ages, now I feel I can cope for another week!!!!
Hope you get sorted out :)

Brenda - posted on 06/23/2012

I feel for you, my son is 12 and we are constantly fighting. He has given me numerous headaches. He has a mentor and that helps some.I am tempted to take him to a Dr and try to get him on meds.I just pray alot and that helps some, and my neighbor has stepped in and had some small talks with him.