my son recieved dirty pics of his "girlfriend" on his phone

Cassie - posted on 07/16/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I was checking my 13 year old son's phone (as i do occasionally) and ran across pictures his so called girlfriend sent him. they were pics of her naked chest and hoohoo. this girl lives in another state-they "met "through myspace. as for punishment, i took his phone away, his internet access, and i'm debating on taking his computer . what else should i do. we called and talked to her father and i called and talked to my son's father. my ex said he would give him the "talk" but i'm afraid that will go nowhere b/c my ex's point of that conversation will be "if you made it, you have to take care of it" any suggestions what i should do? did i take away too many things or not enough. i know boys get curious at this age but these pics were unsolicitate on his part. should i cut off contact b/n the 2? please help

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Beth - posted on 07/08/2013

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well my kids rare older than thirteen and they dont have cell phones. so maybe if we would back up and make kids wait till there adults for adult things we wont have so many problems

Jake - posted on 05/30/2013

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Get over it there growin up its not like they are going to have sex it just what happens
If u need to do somthing just tell him don't do any thaing that u will regret

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Here ya go, Alex...Here ya go. If you cannot provide scientific citations for your statements below, that "REGULAR teens masturbate while driving"...etc, then DO NOT MAKE THEM.

I stand my my earlier statement. Thou art a troll, sir.
Alex Bentworth - posted 1 day ago
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*laughs* your poor kid!

he'll make a great nun one day with the abject fear of sexuality and the human form that you've lovingly instilled in him.

*grins* what a bunch of nazi puritans you folks are! it's a va-jay-jay and some little boobs! if he WASN'T curious you should be worried.

and invading his privacy IS wrong (it's called morality, and if you read a book that actually EXPLAINED the process of morality you'd not be in this situation. sadly, i'll bet you got your life view from the bible, which just DICTATES morality, and doesn't venture into the realms of internet porn or flesh texting) when you check his phone, so i find it more than slightly disturbing that people think he's somehow been given too much "freedom" (a word i'd challenge any of you old crones to actually define).

your son is normal. he'll probably grow into a serial rapist at the rate you're going, but at the moment his normal. REGULAR kids masturbate in their cars while they're driving, steal their friend's mom's underwear, look at copious amounts of porn, peek in neighbor's windows and generally spend most of their times trying to figure out all the interesting, explicit stuff that their parents refuse to talk about.

your kid is normal, for now. you, however, are a bizarre echo of a bygone Victorian epoch that we've done well to rid ourselves of.

congratulations. your kid may one day be as screwed up as you.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Still no data on the masturbating while driving, Alex? Where's your data? I truly would like to see that!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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READ what???

Your skewed ideas of what a "normal" teen is?

I'd be happy to read any published stats on the matter of masturbating and driving, and teenager voyeurs.

Any scientific data would be greatly appreciated. Until then?

Get a grip on your own little corner of reality.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Hmm...Let's see...can't be bothered to read an intelligent response. Hmmm. Teenager, much?

Been thru history, anth, AND psyc, and nowhere did it tell me that it's a good idea to allow sexual attitudes in teens.

I have my own moral compass to indicate when something is right or wrong. I'm sorry that yours is skewed, my dear!

And, on a site specifically for MOMS...to refer to me as a "good man" is no ends of offensive.

I will call it like I see it. You are a troll, who is trying to encourage parents to allow their children to go to a sexual level at an age that is entirely too immature so that you (hopefully) will be able to get your own voyeristic thrill.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Alex, I'm sorry, but...

You seriously would not have a problem with your 13 YO (whether they be male or female, no difference) taking sexual pictures of themselves and sending them to other kids?

And, you would not have a problem with your 13YO (again, no diff whether they are male or female) receiving sexual pictures of another kid?

Then YOU can join those kids in jail for child porn. Because that's how the law will view it. Whether or not it was "consensual" between those 2 13 YO kids or not, the law will label it porn, with all of the applicable punishments.

You, my dear have a very skewed view of "normal" and "screwed up". My sons are both normal, in that they are interested in female human bodies. They are also normal in liking to look at pictures. HOWEVER, they understand that the girls that spread themselves across the pages of Playboy and Hustler are adults, and that they, once they reach the LEGAL AGE OF 18, will be able to purchase those pictures for their own viewing.

They also understand that, at the ages of 14 & 17, not only can their PARENTS be prosecuted for inappropriate material that is presented to them, but themselves and their schoolmates can be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for child pornography.

But, hey, you go ahead and raise a kid that believes in his inalienable right to do anything he wants, regardless of the correctness of the action.

Oh, and another BTW? I'm the PARENT. That means, if I buy the phone, and provide the service, the kids show me everything ON that phone. They knew the deal when they got the phones. Only after they are legally adults (18), paying their own bills, rent, and extras, will they be able to deny me access to their phones/computers/ etc. ONLY THEN. And there's not a judge in the US that will not agree with me, I'm sure.

Where do you get the idea that "normal" teens "masturbate while driving, steal their friends moms underwear, peek in neighbor's windows"...

I don't know about you, but my perfectly normal teens aren't peeping toms, nor are they exhibitionists...What sort of society did YOU grow up in that you think that public masturbation and voyeurism is OK???

And to quote yourself "CONGRATULATIONS. YOUR KID MAY ONE DAY BE AS SCREWED UP AS YOU". Only you'll be sitting in the next cell saying "I don't get it! It's NORMAL to send child porn all over the cell phone network!"

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You handled the situation just right... obviously he had too much freedom as far as internet access and cell phone use was concerned. Sit down with him and explain to him the dangers of the internet, tell him that you should have been more attentive before (Why does he have a myspace site at his age?), that you're sorry you neglected to set rules as to use before and that from now on things wil lbe different. All the things you took away from him are priviledges not given rights, even if you weren't clear on that before and he can only have them back after he's proven that he can handle their use including following the rules you set. Use parental control on the computer, set it up so that you will be notified of any exchange he has online and monitor these exchanges regularly. Guide him in this way to age appropriate use of these modern marvels of communication.



As innocent as this incidence might seem, especially on his part, things can turn ugly quickly and we as parents need to make sure our kids stay safe even in cyber space. Good luck!

Michele - posted on 07/21/2009

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They both need to know that it is a felony and considered child pornography. We had a few girls my daughter knows do that and everyone that it was forwarded to are in a lot of trouble. Maybe that will scare him. Let him know he could be found guilty of a sex offender.

Cassie - posted on 07/21/2009

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thank you all for responding. right now he is out of state w/ his father but when he gets home, we'll have a whole other conversation about legalities.

Kim - posted on 07/19/2009

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These are all great advice. It is illegal to send or receive orn of a minor. even at 13 they will press charges. You are also legally responsible though in the eye of the law. You need to talk to him and have an open conversation where he can ask you anything he wants to about sex and use the adult names for body parts. There isn't anything wrong with him being interested and curious. Talk to him about his feelings and remind him that they are normal but that it is not ok for him to be getting that tyoe of photo.

Mona - posted on 07/18/2009

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You do need to at least have a talk with him about the law. Not only sending/getting pics can get you in trouble but if he shows these pics to friends also. Distribution of porn of a minor... it's very serious stuff.
This girl could regret hitting the send button and he/you could get in trouble.
http://moremilestones.blogspot.com

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My daughter is 19 now but a few years ago, we went thru the same thing with kids sending nude pics on the computer!! I was so shocked, and I sound so old saying this but kids nowdays dont seem to think its a big deal!! The call is "sexting". What happend to good old fashioned modesty? And you cannot blame the boys for being curious, the girls alot of the times are the aggressors! Good Luck to you, all we could do was take away internet access for ours and ground her.

Amy - posted on 07/16/2009

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My understanding is if they post a picture your son even though he is a minor can get into trouble with the law. I hope u got rid of them. If not go to your local police station and explain the pictures to them and let them see. From there I believe if she keeps sending pictures you can go after her for sexual harhassment on your son. Good luck I hope this helps.

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