My stepdaughter just turned 13!

Louise - posted on 08/31/2012

As a parent of a daughter of 17 who lives apart from her natural dad I can understand this. I have always worked really hard to keep the lines of communication with her dad open. She's been the same as your stepdaughter and lost interest over the years in communicating and spending time with him. Like you a typical teen and no doubt her mum has the same trouble even though she sees her every day. I have encouraged her throughout this time to keep talking to her dad and when he rings or speaks to me give him the normal update. As long as your husband keeps chatting to her and she knows he cares she will come back. This last year my 17 year old has once again become close to her dad so I promise it will get better as long as he still makes sure she knows that he cares xx

Daina - posted on 08/30/2012

thank you so much for the advice! Really helps to have a place like this:)

Francine956 - posted on 08/21/2012

Hi Daina... I agree with Megan this is a typical stage that teenagers go through. Trying to keep the lines of communication open is a definite MUST! If he is feeling hurt then perhaps he could include her friends in some of their activities? I know he probably wants her to himself, but sometimes we have to sacrifice to keep our kids close. What are the activities that his daughter wants to go and do with friends? Because she is growing up and trying to find her way, you want to do what you can to let her feel like she can have fun while spending time with her dad. This might not be what he wants, but it sure beats the alternative of her not wanting to spend time with him. In order to help your husband cope with this transition stage I would try to make suggestions of things he can do with his daughter and include her friends. I think once she realizes that her dad is willing to accommodate her she may be willing to spend some quality time with him on occasion. It's a give and take with teens, the hard part is finding the balance! I hope this insight from one parent to another helps.

Megan - posted on 08/21/2012

Sadly this happens a lot with kids that have parents that are no longer together. Yes all teenagers go throught the "My friends are more importnant phase", but it's a thin line. On one hand you don't want to upset the daughter and force her to spend time with her dad/family causing her to be mad/resentful. Then on the other hand it's important for her to spend quality time and be/feel like a part of the family. I would say have him talk to her, open up the line of communication. This will give both of them the opportunity to express their feelings, their take on the situation then they can come up with a solution together. That way no one feels resentful or neglected and the solution was mutual. Communication goes a long way and will be a helpful tool for the future for all involved.