My Teen daughter and husband are always fighting..what can I do?

Jennifer - posted on 04/26/2012

You took the words right out of my life! I don't understand either of them. They tell on each other, and blame it all on me for trying to help. I give up.

Helen - posted on 04/27/2009

Thank you all for all of the advice

Denise - posted on 04/25/2009

she wants to make her own rules an hates the fact she can't with dad so put mom in the middle an if mom an dad fight it gets the attention off of her. when he tells her no or punishes her stay out of it , walk away. went throgh this so many times with my daughters. now 2 of them are 26 an 23 yrs old. they laugh about it now an will tell you how glad they are their dad was the way he was with them. girls are the worst when they can't get their way just let her no that you an your husband are sticking togather.

Rebecca - posted on 04/22/2009

I go through this with my 17yo and her dad. I grew tired of it one day and sat them both down. I had a dishtowel and told them that whoever held the dishtowel could talk, but they had to use the 'I feel, I think, I would like' conversation when they began. I took coin and flipped it - my ex-husband won. He started with 'I feel upset when we argue. I think you don't respect me, I would like for us to talk and spend more time together.' (shocked me!!!) When it was my daughters turn, she said, 'I feel that you treat me like a child. I think I am old enough to make my own decisions. I would like you to talk to me with respect.' Finally, they were able to talk and they realized that he was scared to see her grow up and she was struggling to step away from being 'Daddy's little girl'.



Sometimes, the best thing we can do as Moms is to facilitate a conversation. I didn't interfere, unless it began to get heated... then I made them do the 'I feel, I think, I would like' to cool it down again.



Best of luck to you!!

Kathy - posted on 04/22/2009

I'm thinking maybe you could suggest something for them to do together, alone, to sort things out, maybe a camping trip, fishing, bowling, something they can do together that will take their minds off yelling at each other. We have a no yelling rule in our house and talk about everything, My teenage children love this because we listen to what they want and they listen to what we want and in the end we always reach a compromise. It's hard seeing your child spoken too, by their dads, in a way you would never allow a stranger to talk to them. Good luck... I hope everything calms down for you soon

Sandra - posted on 04/22/2009

Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. Other than to step back, and not get in the middle. Which, is easier said than done. A lot of teenagers go through this. But, an adult should not be arguing with a teenager, it only leads to hurt feelings and resentment. Sometimes you have to choose your battles, and let the small stuff go.