My teen misses the bus everyday! What should I do?

Courtney - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 31 moms have responded )

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My 13 yr. old daughter misses the bus everyday and even though she gets up in plenty of time to catch it. Then she yells, and throws fits about being late. I don't have a clue how to make her get on the bus!!!! I have practicly taken everything from her. What else is there to do?

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Rosa - posted on 02/15/2010

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Dress in roller's house coat and bad makeup, then take her to school and walk in the builking with her, and let her know that everytime she misses the bus that is what you will do.

Barbilee - posted on 02/13/2010

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So don't yell. Don't take things away. Let her figure it out. She is 13, she knows how to tell time, it is not your job to make sure she gets on the bus, let her know that. Yes, you are the parent and yes you can support her, but think about it...WHY is she missing the bus? Is there a problem on the bus? Kids? car sickness? etc. Find out what is going on. If there is not good excuse, make sure she understands that HER bus, HER responsibility. If she misses it, make sure she makes other arrangements. Have her take responsibility. She is 13, it is time that she learns cause and effect. Missing the bus is quite minor in comparison to what challenges may come up in the future. Teach her to be accountable now and she will thank you for it later.

Does that make sense?

Barbilee
Family Success Coach

Nadine - posted on 02/15/2010

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ask her why she wont catch the bus is there an issue you are unaware of? perhaps travelling mates hassling teasing her? or she wants u to take her? dose she have friends on the bus chat to them maybe they can shine the light for u since she may not want to and this is her way of coping.

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Ann - posted on 12/10/2013

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I set up ahead of time with a local taxi company that we trust. I let him know to expect me to call if my 12 year old daughter missed the bus on purpose. He agreed to take her himself or arrange for his daughter who drives. It happened one morning while she dawdled in her room changing shirts. She had to pay the cab fare out of money she earned for our Christmas vacation. She was mortified to be dropped off by a taxi in front of her friends. The driver called me when he dropped her off and he stayed and waited until she entered the school building. She hasn't missed the bus since, although she's run out in stocking feet carrying her shoes or her hair brush.

Cynthia - posted on 05/16/2013

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make them walk . i made mine walk to the edge of the neighborhood then drove them up the street that was not safe too fast too busy. then dropped them where the kids with no bus service have to walk from .....the beauty of this you may feel bad for a little while they may be mad but they wont miss the bus again.... i had to walk two miles to school and back they catch the bus in front of house just have to set their alarm and get up on time..... it will teach the to be responsible adults in the future that is our job as
parents

Nicole - posted on 02/15/2010

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Have u left her pay the consequences at school? I know know about u my my kids have a punishment if there late they serve detention and I DO NOT CLEAR them... Usually works.

Ramya - posted on 02/15/2010

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hi, Its exactly what am going through i feel so stressed when they dont have their breakfast n milk just leave everything n they spend most of the time in the washroom. i just started to ignore, keep there tififin boxes ready n milk n breakfast on the table n go for my walks if they want to go may be they miss the bus for a day or two but will realise they should be on time. i dont drop her if she is late . n she is at home i dont let her watch tv too. she cant effort to miss the classes n the fun with her friends too. so atleast i saw she is trying it a bit. keep ur fingers crossed.

Tammy - posted on 02/15/2010

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First, what is she doing if she is getting up "in plenty of time to catch it."? I'd make her get up earlier, like 15 minutes. Tell her that if she is late again, she will need to figure out how to get to school, I use this with my 14 yo and it works perfectly. She's old enough to know better and sounds like she is just being a pill.

If you are there when she is getting ready to leave; announce to her in five minute increments that she has "fifteen minutes", "ten minutes", and then "five minutes". This way she has plenty of warning of when it is time to leave.

Brenda - posted on 02/15/2010

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There is a reason she doesn't want to get on that bus! She may be getting teased, bullied or even sexually harassed. Talk to her. You need to know the REAL reason.

Claudia F. - posted on 02/14/2010

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I read all the posts with the hope that something could help me to deal with the same problem. Every morning I was yelling at my daughter and ending with headache and an stressful day. Now I just let her doing her own things and I pretend I don't paying attention. I am writing the time she leaves and the expected time for her to leave home. This week consecuence? she wanted to go to watch a movie I didn't let her go and it was her first time going out with 3 girls. Why? she was 8,7,4,5, minutes late during the week. Let see next week, but the situation drives me crazy.

Merry - posted on 02/14/2010

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Like Tara said....sometimes teenage girls get this idea they are "to good' to ride the bus. There is a stigma, that they are "poor" because the parent isn't driving them to school. I like the suggestions that either she finds her own ride with another parent or she walks. If it is a short distance, then no big deal. If it is a longer distance then she will learn to appreciate the "free ride" the bus provides. Our family wasn't poor, but we all worked so the kids had to get to school on their own. It is amazing the solutions they come up with when they have to.

Sharon - posted on 02/14/2010

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I charge my children a dollar a head to get a ride to school. If they don't have a dollar-then they owe me and I MAKE SURE THEY PAY!!! That being said, if your daughter has plenty of time to make the bus and deliberately misses it-something is happening on that bus that you need to know about. Find out TODAY

Lesley - posted on 02/13/2010

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Is it public or school bus she is travelling on? My guess as others would be a problem some where either on the bus or in school itself. Dont let it keep going and dont push her into spilling her story talk to her as a person as she may feel that if you butt in you may cause more problems . Approach the school together in a private meeting and ask them what their tactics are for dealing with situations such as bullying maybe they can have her with the school counsellor involving some of her close friends as to ow to deal with a situation.Work through it with her not for her. And if all else fails i guess there is the option of changing schools?In the case of being lazy and not being organised is there any issues at home that can be stressing her out? Check all of these things out before telling her to move her butt! My daughter has just turned 16 but for years now she has organised herself in the mornings that is her job not mine. My job is to love her support her and give her the tools she needs to get through her life (food ,clothing etc )not be her personal organiser the school gives her a diary for that. Best of luck!

BillieSue - posted on 02/13/2010

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My daughter used to do that. So i started getting her up earlier and i walked her to the bus stop myself ( in my robe and pink fuzzy slipper and i even put old lady curlers in my hair) that was the last time she missed the bus. But of course before you take that course of action make sure its not cause of issues on the bus with bullies or something. If its just her manipulating you ( like my daughter did me) then she she deserves to be a little put out dont you think.

Kelly - posted on 02/13/2010

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I had to walk when I missed the bus. It was a LONG walk!!! sure taught me a lesson fast. If you dont like her walking alone drive alongside of her but dont give in and drive her. soon enough she will realize you arent kidding and that at 13 she should be responsible enough to get her butt on the bus. I was 8, and she is 13, it didnt kill me and it wont kill her either. MOMs MUST stand their ground or be walked all over!!!

Andrea - posted on 02/13/2010

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I'm also wondering if there are bullies on the bus... ? How about feelings of anxiety...?
My son rode the bus while in elementary school, but once in middle school he rode it for a few days and then decided 'he couldn't do it anymore'. I now take him to school and it gives us some mom/son time w/o anyone else competing for my attention. In our case there were some kids making fun of him.

Tara - posted on 02/13/2010

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Same case with my daughter. I had to bring it to the school's attention and ask for their help. They read her the riot act, and issued a suspension (1 day) in hopes that it would get through to her. My daughter believed she was "above" riding in a bus. Now she either rides her bus, or has another mom drive her.

Brenda - posted on 02/13/2010

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have you asked her why she doesn't want to ride the bus? And exactly what is the tantrum about? Is this a habit in her life in other areas? or just about missing the bus. If she is getting up in plenty of time is there a routine that she follows every morning, some need to do the same thing every morning, just like us having a coffee, establish a routine and make sure everything is set out in the morning, maybe she is just disorganized or disoriented in the morning. It will take some time the night before but it may make the mornings smoother.

Shannon - posted on 02/12/2010

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Great responses.. and I agree that first you should find out if there are any issues on the bus... if not... hit the pavement sister!.. she should walk to school.. or take public transportation!.. (I can just hear my Dad telling me to do that!.. Ha!) -

Jane - posted on 02/12/2010

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She can either walk, or not go to school that day. If she's worried about being late, it means she cares about school and so missing school might really make it sink in that your not going to drive her every time she misses the bus. Also, I do tend to agree with others that maybe there is something going on on that bus that she is not comfortable with or scared of. I'd check that out too. If it's not that,and just the procrastination, then again, walk if she can or she just doesn't go to school that day...it will rectify itself at that point.

Beck - posted on 02/11/2010

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you have probably got sick of recieving posts by now, but these teenage problems keep reaccuring. when my daughter started playing up with school requirements i left my job on sickness, stress leave with a doctors certificate and i drove my daughter to school and started helping out @ the school, this is the best way to work out the issues going on with your daughter and there can be so many of them @ 13. Family is the most important part of your life, never give up on them no matter how much she rebels. your not alone either most of us mothers brining up teenage girls or boys go through a sex, drug and alcohol stage and the more u show a interest in your children and putting them first the easier it will be for your household. good luck and best wishes:)

Angie - posted on 02/11/2010

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I agree that letting her experience natural consequences is the way to go. If you are going to charge her for the ride there, get the money up front or make her walk. If she can't pay up front it'll be hard for you to collect later.... I give each of my children ONE get out of jail free card, once it's used they have to come up with their own solution. So far, they've never messed up more than once (they're 17, 11, and 9) per year so I haven't had to be tough- but I'm sure my day will come! Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 02/11/2010

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i agree with the above parents..there is probably something going on on the bus...but regardless she needs to be responsible. take her to school, but charge her gas money. when you hit them in the pocket book it hurts, right, mom?!

Crystal - posted on 02/11/2010

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I found that when my kidos were missing the bus regulary than there is something going on on the bus. At first she may say no, becasue she wont want you to say anything but you need to sit her down and talk to her I bet there is something going on. It could be a bully or maybe a boy whom she made a full of herself in front of. My daughter would miss the bus because the "shoes" she wore weren't the right type. I almost blew a fues! But when I setteled down and got her a new pair she caught the bus every day!

Go figure the world we live in today TEENS... good luck the best I can tell you is to talk to her and find out why!

Theresa - posted on 02/10/2010

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Make her walk to school. Call the school so they know she's on the way.

Angela - posted on 02/10/2010

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My parents made me walk if I missed the bus when I was a kid. I lived 2 miles away from school. If I ended up being late, then that was another issue I had to resolve on my own. If you let her tardiness be your problem and you are her safety net, then she will fall back on you every time. Let her own her own problem.

Alanna - posted on 02/10/2010

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Natural consequences, natural consequences !!! She will just have to be late. Since this is a habit, then you should not help her out. When you come to her rescue, it reinforces the behaviour. When she is late, she will have to answer to teachers and will have to make up the time at school hopefully. Taking away things is not the answer. Just let her deal with it, but no rescuing !

Ask yourself, is she avoiding school ? If so, why ?

Karen - posted on 02/10/2010

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My daughter used to catch the bus home. I never realised it, but there were bullies on the bus? Is this not the case with your daughter?

Lynda - posted on 02/09/2010

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set her clock 1/2 an hour later. that way shes ready and not procrastinating. by the time she realizes what you did she will be under a better routine.

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