My teenage son spends way too much time gaming on his XBOX!

Jeanette - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 99 moms have responded )

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Everytime I check up on him, he is playing on his XBOX. He's a good kid, has great friends, school grades are good, involved in community and school activities. Homework is done on time and chores are also done on time. But when he gets home, it's straight to his room, turn on his TV and XBOX! Wow! i just don't know if I should be putting a time limit on his gaming time. Looking for some feedback on how your teens are handling the amount of time spent gaming. What are your restrictions?

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Jody - posted on 04/01/2013

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Im 13 but PELASE KEEP READING if you think about it, a kid understandes a kid. not a mom with the same problem. but anyways i do the same thing and i find it the best way to
A) relive stress
B) meet friends
and C) have a good time.
the only difference is i normaly dont do my work so you got a VERY good kid. make him get off at like 9:30 and make him go to bed at 10:00 that is how my mom does it and that is how i like it. BUT WHAT EVER YOU DO dont do something stupid like that NellyPires person, not to be rude but that makes your kids all qwirkey and creepy. there are liek 3 of thoes kind of kids at my private school. trust me they have no friends but other kids like them and they look like they are dead and they act like nerds. any ways im not making anyone "feel bad" or something but i wanted to add that if you want to make him happy and reward him for being good then buy him a thing called FPS freaks, the best people on xbox use them and their only like 9:95$. my mom is getting me them and i hugged her and was just like "i lvoe you sooooooooooo much" but yea so hope i helped

Barbara - posted on 08/26/2013

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So. Let me get this straight. He's a good kid, has great friends, school grades are good, involved in community and school activities, homework is done on time, chores are done on time. Sound like he's earning his Xbox time to me and that's his reward. Sure, go ahead and take away what he actually enjoys and I guarantee you the next time you post he won't be a good kid, has terrible friends, his school grades are bad, lost involvement and interest in community and school activities, homework isn't done on time as well as his chores. What IS it with parents? Are you out to crush your childs' spirit or allow him to grow in a direction that interests him? Unbelievable. I feel sorry for your kid.

Burlington - posted on 11/18/2012

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Hi Jeanette Hernandez!



I am an 18 year old college student who has been playing video games his entire life. I have never once been limited how many hours/minutes I could use electronics. I agree with your kid. Playing video games is a great way to wind down from the day. On weekends, I work part-time and attend social events. (Party, Go on dates, Eat Breakfast/ Lunch or Dinner out, etc.) I'm the first person to go to college out of my sister, brother and I. I am also the youngest. I did not turn out to be a horrible person from playing video games every day.



Playing video games often, does not make you a bad person. What makes a person choose to negatively impact their lives is the experience of doing and/or seeing negative influences happen. I see you restricting his video game habits as a negative influence. You said yourself that the kid is a good guy. He attends school and does his homework, he is healthy, he has his own social circle, he does not do drugs/ break the law.



Throughout my high school years my dad was in a car accident. He broke all his ribs and continues to this day to suffer from diseases he normally would never have, but his immune system cannot fight off because of this car accident. Did that stop him from being the Father I needed him to be?



In Grade 10, I rarely went to school. The only days I would go to class were project and test days. Every time I was not in class, I was smoking weed or finding a way to smoke it later.



In Grade 11, I continued my frenzy of skipping school relentlessly. By this time my tolerance for smoking mary jane was high enough that I started spending my lunch money (earned by doing chores around the house) on dope. ($50 a week) That is 7 grams a week to smoke to my face. Not including what my buddies would give to me and any I made doing favors for friends who needed. Back then, that was a lot of marijuana.



In Grade 12, I stopped skipping school. I stopped hanging around friends who were negatively impacting my life. There was one goal and that was getting my high school

diploma. Its funny really, how important a flimsy piece of paper is. What is even more hilarious is that I would never have that piece of paper if it was not for my

Dad.



By this time I'm sure you are thinking "WTF THIS KIDS PARENTS ARE HORRIBLE!!! HOW COULD THEY LET HIM DO THIS?" Well, they didn't. They didn't have a sweet clue why I

was skipping school. They just knew I was. Even then, they didn't find out I was skipping until the latter half through Grade 11. They tried to talking to me. I just kept feeding lie after lie. Then my siblings came into the spotlight and tried to help. I simply lied to them too. Until one day where I couldn't stand to lie to my family anymore. The loved me more than anything in the world I did nothing but betray their trust.



Some lies are used to protect, some lies are used to be hurtful, other lies are just down right pitiful. It took my Dad breaking down into tears in front of me to open my eyes to how stupid I was being. He thought the entire time (he knew for about 4-6 months by this point) it was his fault for the way I was acting. That the 'stress' of him potentionally dying was affecting my school studies. He thought I was a "great guy" when all I was doing was looking for a way to get high, a way to get out of the boring school days and live my life.



What a joke. Only a child could truly believe that being independent means to do whatever you please. Independence? They provided shelter, food, payed for my health, school, activities with friends. (Legit activities, movies, paintball, amusement parks, etc.) When I wanted the brand new shiny Xbox, they simply said "Well the garage has been needing some cleaning." and bought me the brand new shiny Xbox after I cleaned the garage under their advisement. (Before they found out what I was up to in regards to school)



My family are "great people". I am aspiring to be a "great guy". Still think I was as "great" as I was earlier? No? Good. If a guy who wasn't perfect turned out alright, I can only imagine what a perfect son can turn out to be. You have what sounds to be an amazing son. Don't jeopardize your relationship with him over something as stupid as restricting his gaming time. Instead, simply bring the topic up and talk with him. He is a normal human being just like me, dad, mom, brother, sister and you. We are all simply human. It completely up to you whether or not you choose to advise or force your viewpoint onto him, but that is'nt what your son needs to grow and learn who he is.



TL;DR:



Do not force your viewpoint on to him. Forcing is a negative influence. Instead, be human. How does one "be human"? Talk to him, create a relationship with him that relies on communication. Advise that you think spending too much time on video games is a bad thing. If you act like an adult towards him, he will treat you that way. I'm going to assume he is in high school. At this age kids don't need rules. They already know the rules and have plenty from their school already. What they needis someone they can confide in %100 with no worries it will ever come back to haunt them. Now of course they will never trust you %100 but at least you'll have access to information that my parents never did until very late in high school. The truth.

Cikaejje - posted on 06/21/2013

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If your son gets everything done on time then just let him be free!

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Daniel - posted on 08/01/2014

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video games make you think and there are puzzle game that can tr you mind O.K so lay off x-box look at it this way kids don't get fat and die you from video games don't give you lung cancer if any thing if your kid is at home on the X-box they are not out doing drugs robbing any one or place and if you say he or she is doing ion school and the do what ever they should at home what do video game hurt and don't any one give me oh this guy played a game where you do this and that you do what you want when you want
game don't make you do thing make you do what you don't want i want to hear people say video game are bad and the kids that act out i bet 90% if not 99% of the parents did try to spend time and tell them know this is a game it is not real you can not do that in real life

Sam - posted on 07/30/2014

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I have a 12 year old son who sounds like your son. my problem is, when I was a kid, we were outside, our play time was outdoors...ride a bike, play with friends outside, etc. the problem is my kid prefers playing with his friends online...then they have all of these Mature games they want to play and I have caved and let him have Call of Duty etc being only 12...he is an honor roll student but when I hear him yelling "SHIT" from his room playing with friends...I get annoyed....I want him outside, so we limited his time to 2.5 hours a day in the summer and 1 hour a day during school...is this wrong? Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing...

Megan - posted on 07/25/2014

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Tired of telling your kids to stop playing games on their mobile and do something useful? check this app!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=screentime.ninja&hl=en

Megan - posted on 07/25/2014

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Tired of telling your kids to stop playing games on their mobile and do something useful? Screentime Ninja blocks the device after a pre-set amount of time, but lets the kid earn more screen time by solving math problems which are tailored!

try this out for free!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=screentime.ninja&hl=en

Giveback - posted on 06/24/2014

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I Am 12 And My Mom is a asshole she walks in my fucking room then takes my games then throws them at me then gos and tells my dad that i fucking did some shit well what the fuck.

Din - posted on 05/16/2014

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Gaming is no less of a hobby than any sport activity, what reason is there to change anything?

Parents these days...

Lena - posted on 03/31/2014

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I have a 13 yr old. X box is his life, extremely good grades, good kid, etc. One day (he may have been 11.5) I said "X this is getting ridiculous, go out and play with your friends!!!" He said he was, playing with them online. All of them, lol. The world has changed. He's almost 14 now and during the school week he really doesn't game as much (thanks to girls..ugh a whole different issue) but on the weekends (if he doesn't make plans) it's a marathon. It doesn't bother me anymore... He could be doing drugs, causing havoc etc... Instead he's home socializing virtually and enjoying himself with his friends (and yes school friends, and my 43 yr old brother who is in the business)

Georgestake - posted on 01/30/2014

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I am a 14 and my dad restricts my gaming time to 1hr on week days and 2hr at weekend... this has made me hate him because gaming is my only hobby. i suggest that you don't don't restrict your child's time of playing because it can cause great tension in the family.

Kim Arands - posted on 01/15/2014

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I agree 100%. U r the parent and if u feel ur child has an addiction to xbox, play station ect, then he or she,more then likely does have an addiction.I foster a 16 yr old who has been with me a yr now, that i love and adore<3.He however had addiction with xbox before coming to live with me.Im a single custodial mom for first time. I have 3 grown children and learned many mistakes i made with my own and that was allowing my son to play wayy to much play station. I looked at it, that he was home and i didnt have the worry of knowing where he was. Hes 29 now and still plays every chance he gets and i have no one to blame but myself.Sam my 16 yr old im fostering is not allowed to play during school wk and telling ur 16 yr old he is not allowed to play certain times, doesnt always work. He was sneaking it back on, after i went to bed. I grounded him from it for 2 wks ( for the deceit)and i keep it up now when hes not suppose to b playing. He tells me hes going to sell it( he did buy it) and i tell him, thats his choice and the rules r not changing!! I allow him to play on weekends and thats with rules that he spends time with me, he gets out and plays basketball a couple hrs. There r always kids playing at park, that is a 3 minute walk.His grades also have to stay up and if he fails a class, there is NO xbox till i c 3 wk progress report. We r the parents and have complete control over our children. U have to set consequences and stick to them!!.Sam had many problems when he came to stay with me and the BIGGEST problem was his addiction to xbox, that caused many behavioural problems, such as anger, hostility, disrespect when i set limitations to how much he would get to play. Also consequences always for disrespect, lying and deceitfulness.It came to everything being taken away, xbox, t.v, cell fone, ipad and when i continued to catch him on his ipad at 3 in morning on a school nite, i took his bedroom door off .It was very frustrating because ipad was from school and i had no control over taking it away.-All i could do was take it away everynite.I told school that i didnt want him having it back till there techs set it up, where he was not able to download anything but school things, because one nite, i forgot to get it from him and i caught him with it under his covers4 in morning on school nite and asked him what was light i just saw go off? He told me there was no light.I pulled covers down and lifted pillow and grabbed it, before he could turn it off with password.I was in total shock and disbelief to how much he had downloaded or looked up.Litterally 100's and 100's of things, with nothing pertaining to school.My horror was all the porn he had looked up and downloaded.I was livid.I took the ipad to school myself and showed principle what the kids were doing with school ipads and y i had been such a pain in changing sams ipads where they were only school accessible. I asked principle how can a parent make any consequences, from xbox, ipod ect, when they can do all these things freely on ipad????.Soo my persistance payed off and school ipads were changed the ipads to where, they r no longer were able to have access to anything but school classes..These kids r sooo tech savy and sam was able to get past the locks and it was a very frustrating ordeal. All schools that give ipads out, need to do what our highschool did and thats only having school accessibility.We have techs that do nothing but work on ipads and it was a big challenge for them to figure out a way kids could not overide locks.Now sam doesnt even bring it home.Technology has become out of control with kids and its up to us as parents, to have full control to how much our kids r on computer, xbox, ipad, ipod.all cell fones,smart fones and any thing ive missed. Sam became deceitful, lied often, was very angry, distespectful when i put limitations on xbox and took ipod away 3 mths ago after catching him on it 3 times 2 and 3 in the morning on school nites.He got very angry and went outside and smashed his fone he just paid $150.00 for.All this anger deceit, lying, bad behaviour is all over addiction to all his technical toys, i call them.Setting consistant consequences for disrespect, lying, being deceitful and bad behaviour had finally begun to change sams attitude 8 mths later.Its what happens when there is no limitations.There has to b consequences for bad behavior always,disrespect, lying, deceitfulness and bad behavior is absolutely unacceptable behaviour and child needs to understand this to the fullest. Consistancy with punishment always has to b reinforced. This behavior with my foster son came from his addiction to xbox and no limitations,even though hes become respectful most of the times( i do understand he's a teenager and just have to tell him sometimes to watch it, or to zip it up.It is usually all it takes now.I was compelled to share my story to hopefully help parents going thru vidoe gaming addiction and how out of contol it can become. There is no video gaming during school wk and its only a privalidge on weekends and just so many hrs on sat and sun. I also removes sams door after several times thru several mths of video gaming hell, of catching him up all nite playing ipad, before i finally changed that and then with fone or ipad. So now xbox stays in my room during the wk and when hes had his time on weekends, each nite iback in my room it goes.I thank the school for putting up with my persistent calls on changing the iPads, for the well being of the kids( and the parents). I believe it should b mandatory that school iPads only have school accessibility. Sams been with me a yr and he still trys to get me to give him more time with xbox and he knows its a big fat NO. Same with t.v it goes off 10:00 on school nites and i do allow him to watch t.v late on weekends, because i know whats on there.Ive made him realize everything he gets to do now is a privalidge, includindt.v.U will b amazed if u start setting how much time u allow everything including t.v and having strict consequences for disrespect, anger, school grades being affected( with school grades dropping i take everything till 3 wk progress report.). They have to know, education is #1 always!!! Being sneaky and deceitful usually involves lying as well and this has to b met with serious consequences every time and if u want to c that ur consequences are beginning to show progress, then continue to do everything u have to, to let ur teenager know u r the adult, they r the child and there behavior is there choice, knowing that consistant, serious consequences will follow. This has worked wonderful with my sam, that never knew what a consequence was a yr ago. Now i have a 16 yr old that we both enjoy each other and still from time to time he needs to b reminded. He went from not even going to school last yr and having to make up all his credits this past summer and it was also a difficult challenge, but he knew no fun, till he completed all the credits he needed to b a sophomore.He finished it and i believe its the very first time he was proud of himself and i cant tell u how proud i still am!! I always tell him im proud of him and always encourage him in very positive ways and its not using the xbox, thats for sure.So sams first report card was almost straight A's. I cried because it was a very difficult 8 mths and i already loved sam like my own and i refused to give up on my sam. Hes a brilliant and funny kid with the whole world in his hands now. Its not easy and can b extremely frustrating!!! I can tell u it does become very frustrating and if there is ever violence u can put ur child on deferred probation, where its not on their record.I had to put sam on it, due to his temper and taking off many times and not coming home all nite. At probations request i had a ankle bracelet put on. That has brought so much stress off of me and sam knows he did it to himself and now takes responsibility for me having to show alot of tough love. We really have fun together. He loves spending the day in town( we live in a tiny town in tx panhandle)so going to town is the fun thing around here.LOL.Sam is from s.d and is someone i knew from my past, son. He was headed to juvy and spent 2 wks in jail before coming here and i pleaded with judge to let me b his last chance. Sam had a very difficult childhood and lost his mom to alcoholism at 45 and it was just a very disfunctional family life where sam and his sis, did whatever they wanted.I dont blame him at all and the discipline was very hard for him to understand and accept.Now he has a nice home, lives in a great, quaint christian community in tx panhandle.He now has .love,security,guidance, caring,structure, support, and discipline when needed.Ive never once raised my voice or said a cussword at his worst temper tantrums.I walked away calmly and let sam settle down, before we would talk and he knew there would b consequences for his unacceptable behavior.Stay calm and if u feel anger, walk away until u calm down. Getting on there level only escalates the situation and u r the parent and u have to b in control!!!!.Tough love makes us feel like we r being too hard or unfair sometimes and remember every child is different and some children u may not need to b as tough as orhers.I know this teqnique has worked well with sam and he has needed very tough love and it surely doesnt fix overnite.Its staying on top of things and being consistent everytime and sticking with the punishment.People who knew sam in s,d, family ect and school andbpeople he works for, are amazed at sams total transformation!! Having lupus made things tougher, because stress is a trigger for lupus flairups, but with god, wonderful christian friends who embraced sam from day one and supported him and i 100%!!.All i can say is a yr later, is thank u GOD and friends.Sam now has a very bright future ahead of him. He is sooo pleasant now and i finally got to c his beautiful heart, behind that cement wall i slowly chipped at. Hes had same job since hes been here that he wanted to quit many, many times and i wouldnt allow him to.Now he loves his job and is one of the hardest workers his boss has had in 15 yrs and all his co-workers love and adore him. He had a terrible attitude and thank the good lord his boss worked with him and i and didnt give up on him.The xbox/computer/ cellfones/iPad and iPods r an escape for many troubled children and teenagers.Do all u can as a parent to
reassure a happy and bright future for ur child or children.Unfortunetely u can do everything right and ur child could go down the wrong road, but odds are soo much greater, child will continue down the right path with proper parenting.Being a great parent takes alot of time and takes alot out of u. but no matter how frustrated u become, always show them u r in control!!!!Ive actually had a few parents suggest writing a book on sams success. I cant say my way is the right way for every child, but has been very successful for me.Please control the useage of all ur childs technical devices as with any addiction, they can all become a serious problem.I hope no offense was taken and some of u may think i have been to hard in sam.Its not always been about control and discipline, we have also had lots of fun since hes been here. My biggest award is getting big teddy bear hugs and ' i love u s,from a 220 pd 6 ft 16!yr old.Everyone gets tickled because im 5'1" tall and 110 pds and are amazed i was able to do what needed to b done to get sam on right track..One other thing thats so important is that no passwords on any devices of ur childs!!!!!.If they put password on and refuse to take it off, or refuse to give u password, then u take it away until they take password off or give password to u.Kids should not and do not need password, where parents have no access to whats going on in ur childs life.We have the right as parents to occasionally check their computer, fb, iPad, IPod ect.With all being said, the best of luck to u and ur decision making on soo much available technology to ur kids and what we as parents can do to prevent out of control behavioural problems and addiction, before it starts and the challenge of it already out of control and getting back under control. Godbless to all parents and there constant challenges to make good decisions and to the kids and teenagers we, their parents love so much and will do all it takes to reassure a happy and bright future, that we can only hope anyways, once our job is over :-).

Kim Arands - posted on 01/15/2014

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My 16 yr old is only allowed to play weekends and i limit the time he plays. I want him to have more of a social life and find other ways to broaden his mind and capabilities. U have to set the limitations!!

Jade - posted on 01/04/2014

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my brother does that to my mom took it away and now he is getting better in school and does more fun activates take it away and bring to a friends or families and hide it an there and they will never know where you put it.

Brad - posted on 12/26/2013

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I'm 14 now and used to play a computer game called roblox.com. It's sort of like lego, but on an animated scale. I've played it for 3-4 years and on my last 2, I joined into some groups. The players could make groups and they would make them into war groups. We had our pittily little online trainings and raids on other clans bases. But I've gotten something out of that. The leaders and higher ranks would discipline players to have grammar and common sense. I've also learned that it's a great waste of time. So I stopped playing. But if it's one thing I've gotten out of those 4 years, it's grammar. Definately limit his time. My brother plays world of tanks WAY TO MUCH. 15+ Hours a day

Aiden - posted on 12/08/2013

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In response to 'Jody''s horrible, awful grammar and spelling:

*I'm
*PLEASE
*understands
*Not
*But
*anyway
*I
*I
*relieve
*The
*I
*normally
*don't
*so you have*
*Make
*. That is
*I
*WHATEVER
*, don't
*. Not to be rude,
*quirky
*There
*like
*those
*kinds of kids
*Trust me, they
*Anyway
*I'm
*I
*being good, then
*FPS Freaks
*Xbox
*they're
*$9.95
*My
*I
*****"I love you so much."
*But
*yeah,
*so,
*I helped.

Wow. If you want people to respect you and your opinion, start with your spelling. Anyone with a basic knowledge of the English language can speak with clear, concise sentences without sounding like they are literally just learning to speak. Good luck learning proper English.

Nick - posted on 11/29/2013

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The biggest issues associated with excessive video gaming is lack of social development and deficits in social skills later in life. If your kid grows up spending the majority of his/her free time playing video games, they will miss out on opportunities to develop core social skills that they would have learned through hanging out with friends face to face. I grew up (I'm currently 20) spending upwards of around 60 hours a week playing video games -it was pretty much all I did. I had a lot of friends in real life and I was always a pretty popular kid in school, but almost all of my time spent with my friends outside of school was online playing world of warcraft or halo. By the time I got to high school, I had a VERY hard time expressing emotion, carrying out conversations, and basically just dealing with face to face interactions even with people I considered close friends.
I also had a tough time with relationships, most of the girls I dated I usually just dated for sexual reasons, and I took relationships way too fast. I hadn't really had any REAL emotional interaction with girls for the majority of my life because most of it was spent playing video games with guys. This pretty much lead to me watching a ton of porn and developing unreasonable expectations about romantic relationships and the like.
I think if your kids already grown up (like older than 17 or so), limiting their video games is kind of pointless -unless it's getting in the way of things like school or other commitments. But personally, looking back on my own childhood, I wish my parents would have encouraged me to be more social in real life. My parents actually set up harsh restrictions like limiting internet to x hours per day, ect.. but I'd usually just go watch tv or something after that. The best way of going about it I think is to just take your kid and their friends out to do shit that they think is cool like paint-balling or lazer tag (boys love that crap), just anything that gets them to interact and develop social/relationship skills with people face to face.

tl;dr= Parents should limit their child's video game intake earlier in life, make sure to "socialize" them so that they can develop social skills necessary to form meaningful relationships with their peers later in life. Video games aren't all bad, and they can be a powerful tool in the hands of the right parents. Once your kid reaches highschool though, you should really be encouraging them to make their own choices (and learn from the consequences of them).

Clevland - posted on 11/18/2013

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FUCK DEEZ NIGGAS, XBOX BE MAH SHIT DOE, FUCK YALL LAMES #3HUNNA

Darren - posted on 09/16/2013

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I'm a 18 year old boy (speaking from someones son's perspective), I really don't see the problem here, if his social and academic life is fine and there are no other problems, what is the problem with him spending his free (and obviously hard earned) time with what he enjoys doing? Something which frustrates me with this topic is that parents seem to perceive this to be a problem when it is not. I'm sure you, just like everyone, likes to enjoy their free time in between busy periods doing what you enjoy (I think this is ultimately what you need to understand). The only difference is that the things you enjoy aren't the same things as what he enjoys. In this scenario especially (because there are no problems at all), taking any action will only create problems that were not there in the first place.

Maria - posted on 08/27/2013

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I believe you should keep allowing him to play as much as Xbox as he pleases as long as he wants but make sure he doesn't stay up later than 12:00 P.M playing games.

April - posted on 08/09/2013

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I have three kids that spend way to much time online and computer games /IPOD GAMES. today I am making a chart for them so many hours a week I started off 14 hours . I want to be realistic . That's two hours a day average.

Evelyn - posted on 05/31/2013

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He needs to learn to set limits if you have to do it for him for the time being. He needs to learn to balance things out.

Nelly - posted on 03/17/2013

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Limit his time gaming, in our house, they have a choice 30 minutes after school to chill either gaming, going online or watching tv.

Luis - posted on 03/16/2013

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Well Jeanette, my son is barely 2 years old, and i let him play with me all the time (i'm a young man myself) i play for hours but there's absolutely nothing wrong with playing video games for a long period of time, it has even been proven that too many video games cause violence, but if his grades were low i would recommend that you take it away from him for a short period of time, or else your child wont be very happy with you, well what i'm trying to say is unless his game is giving him behavior problems or education problems, then i suggest you ban him from playing video games, but as a schedule, for example: let's say he is doing bad in school, but only a bit, if that's the case, i recommend telling him to finish his homework before he plays, that worked for me (my dad always told me this)...
anyways, i hope your son is doing great.

Lori - posted on 02/04/2013

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Michael,

What a great persepctive you have on life and kids. My son too is a great kid with a 4.0 in 6th grade and in gifted and 7th grade math and english classes. I hate the "wait til I save" when I ask him to do something but other than that I cannot complain.

In my eyes, computers and technology are the future and if you don't have the skills you need to keep up you are unable to complete college and get a good job. I have seen upper managers unable and unwilling to adjust to new technology lose their positions.

Your going to make a great parent some day. Teaching your children to be respectful and right from wrong is something that so many parents don't do today but worry about an XBOX. Also, fear is not respect!

Michael - posted on 02/04/2013

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I'd like to add my perspective, I have played video games all my life but I also maintain an unweighted gpa of a 4.4 and was accepted into Harvard and I play 3-4 hours a day mind you. I don't have the busiest social life but it's good enough that I go out every weekend with friends or my girlfriend and it doesn't take up my time for studies. On the other hand, my girlfriends brother is a year below us and is a train wreck without ever playing video games. His GPA is a 0.5 and we doubt he'll even pass the year. But notice, he never played video games and was raised in a different house hold than that of my girlfriend (who's step dad makes me have her back by 9, 9:30 if im lucky) but the boy lives with a notorious gang member father and prostitute step mother. What im trying to say with this is, you simply have to provide a good influence and teach right from wrong. Personally, my family is filled with veterans/current armed service members and with his sort of military discipline my father instilled on me I don't miss a beat in my schedule ever(not that I advise treating your son like a military grunt).

Lori - posted on 02/04/2013

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Tracy,

Kudos to you for being open minded enough to realize that computers and games can actually be learning tools and also incentives.

I started to teach my son how to read using a comptuer when he was 2. He could read the newspaper by the time he went to kindergarten.

Computers are afterall used in schools for teaching, why not at home?

Tracy - posted on 02/04/2013

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We have a 9th grader living with us who can't read. He gets 1 minute of technology (computer/Wii) for every page he reads. This helps him in both directions. This does not mean its the only time he gets on the computer/Wii. We have plenty games for the Wii and on the computer that are educational and fun. He sees it as fun, we see it as learning.

Also the computer is used at the dining room table only and the Wii is in the living room.

Lori - posted on 02/04/2013

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Jeanette,

I have a preteen son who likes to spend all his time in his room playing XBOX, his computer, DS or all 3 at a time. He is a gifted child in school, has friends who come to our home on a regular basis or he goes to their houses. I am more overprotective than most mothers of preteens and do not permitt my son to just go out and hangout, my opinion is that is just a recipe for disaster.

Family members have made comments to me about the XBOX, computer, DS play in his room but I feel that if he is home, it is keeping him out of trouble. I use the 3 items for punishment (which is rarely ever needed) and take them away for a couple days. My restriction is only this, homework and chores first, PERIOD!

Aslo, we live in Pittsburgh (rotten weather in the winter), my son does not enjoy winter weather probably because I do not either but in the summer when it is nice, he must be outside (we have a pool) and not sitting in the house gaming.

My son is a wonderful, smart and funny 12 year old, he knows the rules and never complains about them. If I were to start limiting him, I feel as the person who knows him best, that it would negatively affect how wonderful and focused he is and also affect our relationship. Gaming requires thinking, hand-eye coordination and learning techniques that I feel will be important to him when he is older.

Also, I was an only child too and I never learned to be alone and always felt lonely when I was a little older. I ended up in bars because it was where I could find company and with men that were not good for me. It is good for children to learn to be alone and how to entertain themselves so they don't feel they need company all the time. I didn't learn to be alone until I had my son (35) but them I wasn't really alone any longer now was I?

John - posted on 02/01/2013

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If he does all that you say he does then i don't see why to cap the time, he seems very active and social, let him play

Cindy - posted on 01/22/2013

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I have a 18 son . He likes to play the xbox too. It causes him to dislocate from family and waste hours of his on total make believe life. I have recently put a cap on his game time. It really takes away from social skills needed in the real world were you have to live.

Lita - posted on 01/06/2013

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I actually feel bad for all the children, even the adults who's parents are so incredibly determined to change their child / step child and mold them into a mini me... I'm glad my mother let me choose who I am. I'm no social butterfly... I'm a gamer and parent. I also go to school full time and I am married to another gamer who works full time at a really great job that he loves. We live a really simple happy life, and we only want our kids to be happy and do well.

I too am related to people who just do not understand why I play games and they try to change me. I simply figure that they are either for one, have a very closed mind and believe that things should be a certain way no matter what and that there is just simply no other way to live, or two that they are simply to stupid to understand gamers. Gamers are a type of person, just like Geek, Nerd, Jock, Preppy, Goth, Punk, etc... We also contain all those other types of people within our type. All types of people play games. Mostly the anti social do. We do not see a point in spending a ton of money to go out and "have a life" as everyone else would say. We would rather relax in the comfort of our own home with the people we choose to have in our life.

I personally love gaming, and I have many reasons. I think the best reason is that at any time I do not want to "deal with someone" I can hit that little power button or log out. Problem solved! I find gaming relaxing for my body and stimulating for my mind. I have to think when I game, more than someone jogging mindlessly or a treadmill or stressing about their life. I don't have those kinds of stresses, and yet I also exercise at home... via video game! It keeps me from stressing!

Leave your kids alone... unless it's hurting them or they are hurting others, leave them alone! Oh and not having what you define as a social life is not them being hurt by playing video games. Grow up already you're a parent for crying out loud.

Joanne - posted on 01/06/2013

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We are putting the family timer on the XBox today. It limits the time they can play and they can decide how they want to split up the time. You can do it daily or weekly. I think it makes them responsible and accountable to make decisions. We'll see how it goes. :)

Mamta - posted on 12/08/2012

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I have not bought Xbox or PS3. So, no playing. simple. If i do, it will be on sat or sundays only for a few hours. No more, no less. In india we had Ps3, he played only on sundays.

Belinda - posted on 12/05/2012

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My 14 year old son play x box too. I allowed him 4 hours a day to play and other time would being with his family. Watching TV or board game.

Newbie - posted on 12/03/2012

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I'm a new stepmom, and my stepson is 25. He plays computer games ALL the time, without social interaction except chatting on the computer. He only comes out from his room for dinner and then disaapears back into his room again. (note- I have only been a step mom for a few days-no divorce issues here, that has been over for years, and we do get along. )



Any input on what the best way is to get him out of his room more to start interacting with people? I have no problem with him playing games, but literally 18-20 hours a day is too much! Also, his father tells him to stop, but they just seem to butt heads.

Lita - posted on 11/01/2012

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I can understand where you are coming from. I am a mother of three, I am also going to school for game design, and I am also a gamer as well. There are a few things here that you stated that I think you should consider. One, your son has friends, and has good grades. So his gaming life is not actually affecting his personal or school life. Two, he does get exercise at school. I believe that all schools have P.E. so no worries about him not exercising. If you remember correctly, P.E. is no walk in the park.



Now, taking these things into consideration, why are you complaining? Look at it in another way. If he is playing video games he is less likely to be out of the house causing problems. You worry less about your son coming home and saying, "Uh mom... I got a girl pregnant." or receiving a call from the police saying, "We need you to come pick up your son, he was found doing (insert drugs, weapon carrying, vandalism, etc. here)."



I would say if he's a good kid, let him be a good kid. Video games are a great way to relax. They keep you out of trouble, they allow you to express yourself in a way that you do not show to the people you see in real life. It can be a really good thing. As long as it does not affect your real life.



The next thing that you should consider is this, what will happen if you take the games away? Do you honestly believe that he's going to be like, "No problem mom! I'm going to go run some laps around the block with my buddies!" Not likely. He's going to flip out. This is his thing. He loves doing it, he could grow up and become a major game or digital movie designer, he could even become famous because he is actually good at playing these games. People do make money playing games, they do compete in world competitions. Chances are, you will limit or take away the thing he likes to do, and he will not take it well. His grades may drop, he might even begin causing trouble and getting into fights. This is what makes him happy. It is his way to relax, it is another way for him to socialize outside of school.



Taking away his happiness may cause him to try and take away yours. I know that no one is going to like reading this. As parents we like to be in control of our children, but the fact is that they are people, they have a brain, they have feelings, and if you take away someone else happiness, don't plan on keeping your own happiness.



To stop my excessive post, I will put it simply. Unless your kid starts losing friends, having problems in school, or getting into trouble with the law, leave him alone! You do not need to control every aspect of his life. Let him have something that makes him happy, and let it be his choice as to what it is. As long as he is safe and happy, that's all that we as parents can ask for.



Oh one last thing. Video games are meant to be addictive. Not in a drug sort of way, it's hard to explain. Imagine the thing you love doing most, how it makes you feel... That's how a kid who loves video games feels when they are playing. Don't ever use the taking away of video games as a form of punishment... it can cause your child to act in a very unexpected way. Sort of like how you would react if someone took away your favorite thing to do as a punishment. You would act very differently...



Good luck with your kid. I'd say if he's made it too his teens and not gotten anyone pregnant or gotten into trouble with the law, then you have a great kid.

Lori - posted on 10/26/2012

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My son too, he says it's a way for him to unwind from school day & stress. He also paid for his own Iphone & told us we could not take it. We told him that he is still a teenager under parents & we have the right to monitor time & offer outside physical running around or something constructive to destress. When its taken he starts to come to a different attitude, it works. Sometimes we have electronics pawn -shop in adult bedroom.

Scophie - posted on 10/23/2012

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I have the same problem with you on my 12 year old son, he likes playing computer games a lot, we don't have time to watch him all the time, so I set a parental control on his computer, it can allow us to read the logs, and also can block the sites and apps.

http://goo.gl/QePcl

Lucy - posted on 10/20/2012

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its a whole thing but it should work.

open up the Xbox and lossen 1 wire (any wire that or piece that can easily be placed back in a couple seconds-minutes) so this way it wont work... he will tell you that it broke and then you should go to the store and change it up/repair it. say ok in a few days. wait 2 days and when he is not around just put the piece/wire back in. then tell him you hit it or whatever then it will work do this repeatedly... except he might try to hit it... but stretch the day out like 1 more day at a time... i hope this works... restrictions will just make him angry... and take him to a basketball/football/sport game or even paintball shooting once in a while.

Ark - posted on 10/10/2012

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Leave him alone. He's having fun doing what he enjoys, and you don't need to hinder that by forcing things into his life that YOU think he should enjoy.

Kathy - posted on 10/09/2012

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Leave it alone. He has good friends, makes good grades and is involved in his community. It is not a big deal if he spends his down time on Xbox.

Allison - posted on 10/09/2012

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Why are you looking for a diabality? Maybe mister perfect just wants to be lazy. You're the mom in this situation take his Xbox away, set some boundaries stop letting your child rule your life you're the boss man not him.

Rosie - posted on 10/03/2012

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Also adding to my last note, my son is on the autistic spectrum and he does nothing else but xbox, and Im so worried about the affect on his life. He wont eat his dinner or breakfast properly, won't do any chores or anything to help around the house, does not want to do any after school clubs, or even see or play with real friends, apart from the ones on-line, so surely this is far too obsessive! If I do get him off it by any chance, then he mopes around in a bad mood and says everything else is soo boring!!

Rosie - posted on 10/03/2012

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Yes, I had to put time restrictions on my son's x box as well. But both times he has managed to break the code and got very angry when I tried to put it back on again, so I had to contact Microsoft and they had to reset the system, but it seems to be the only way to control it, as he never comes off it on time. I thought 2 hrs a school night and 4 hrs a day at weekend and holidays was fair, but he does'nt!!

Zelda - posted on 09/14/2012

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Time on the XBOX is forever lost

You can’t buy it back at any cost

You think zapping Zombies is such a great blast?

It’s really the Zombies who get to laugh last

You kill them all day with your online connection

But glance in the mirror to see your reflection

You’re starting to look like the Zombies you fight

The natural effect of gaming all night

So put down the controller, for all that its worth

And seek action outside, on the real planet earth.

Get out in the world and have a good time

Go camping, go biking, or bust-out-a-rhyme

Learn something new or help out a friend

And save ‘Call of Duty’ for just the weekend

“That’s not fair!”, you’re likely to say

But I know in my heart, you’ll thank us someday.

Alex - posted on 09/12/2012

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I am also a teen of 18 years I have spent gaming. I started when i was about 9 on the sega dream cast & have had every console since! And when i got my first PC i spent every morning before school and coming home after school on the game. I then went onto xbox and call of duty i am now the highest level prestige on most of them. However at the age of 13 I was intruduced to sports propperly and joined many local clubs and activities because my parents used to hassle me constantly about spending to much time on games. Through the sports i did i made a few friends some of which did athletics so i joined in with them, a few years down the line and I am now running for my Reagion competeing in many races across my country and i even had Olympic trials. My point being Gaming is not so bad you parents seem to forget you were kids once and just because times have changed you cannot see that when you all used to go out side on the streets and play with Sticks and stones? our generation is gaming. Also heres an example for you.. If You watched the London 2012 Olympics you might have seen the story behind "Usain Bolt" and how he sits at Home and plays PS3! yet he can still be a gold medalist ;) so parents back off the yelling or putting time limits on your kids gaming and try get involved about it they will supprise you! Thanks for reading and sorry for my terrible grammar/spelling.

CuringIgnorancepls - posted on 09/10/2012

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I don't think most mothers fully comprehend that most of their kids are better off playing a fucking game instead of experimenting with drugs and doing all those usual mischievous acts. Instead of bitching at your kids about really insignificant things how about you lay the fuck off and let them play. Be thankful your kid isn't a damn hood rat and stays out of trouble.

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